Anonymous #1
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So basically I have strict asian dad who has my location on however I was going out with my friends one night and I decided to do the stupidest thing and turn off my location cos I didn’t want him to get worried or check to see where I am.And he immediately got a notification and now he doesn’t trust me anymore and when he came to pick me up he’s so mad that he’s taking my phone for the whole summer until I go university.I’m so so sad that I made him not trust me when I haven’t been doing anything bad. Can anyone give me advice on how I should calm him down/fix this.I want him to trust me again but idk how I should I haven’t slept all night worrying about this.He just thinks I’m lying and I’m so upset.
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Aleveluser1012
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#2
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Please help someone🤧
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So basically I have strict asian dad who has my location on however I was going out with my friends one night and I decided to do the stupidest thing and turn off my location cos I didn’t want him to get worried or check to see where I am.And he immediately got a notification and now he doesn’t trust me anymore and when he came to pick me up he’s so mad that he’s taking my phone for the whole summer until I go university.I’m so so sad that I made him not trust me when I haven’t been doing anything bad. Can anyone give me advice on how I should calm him down/fix this.I want him to trust me again but idk how I should I haven’t slept all night worrying about this.He just thinks I’m lying and I’m so upset.
this isn’t trust, this is abuse. you are an adult and do NOT owe anyone your location and you haven’t broken anyone’s ‘trust’ by going on a night out. He also sounds like a narcissist, how has he made you feel like you’re in the wrong for simply living your life? also taking your phone for the summer¿ my only advice is to go to University and DO NOT TURN YOUR LOCATION BACK ON. What’s he gonna do, track you down? You are only enabling his control over you by doing this. My parents tried that hooh-hah with me, I simply stopped going home during holidays (I type this from my new house in my Uni city) and stopped speaking to them till they realised i am an not just an adult but a PERSON because tf. i will do what i want, everyone deserves that right.
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Talon
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m so so sad that I made him not trust me
This isn't true, he obviously didn't trust you in the first place. If you are 18 and he has taken your phone, that is theft. You could always look for it when he is out of the house and steal it back. Alternatively, you can report the theft to the police.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Talon)
This isn't true, he obviously didn't trust you in the first place. If you are 18 and he has taken your phone, that is theft. You could always look for it when he is out of the house and steal it back. Alternatively, you can report the theft to the police.
Yeah i know but if i do anything like that it would just ruin my relationship with him and i do love him and he loves me cos he is my dad at the end of the day but i just dont know. He says stuff like “your under my roof so my rules” and He doesn’t care about what age i am he still treats me the same as he always has.Im just so upset idk if i should fix things with him or give him silent treatment.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
this isn’t trust, this is abuse. you are an adult and do NOT owe anyone your location and you haven’t broken anyone’s ‘trust’ by going on a night out. He also sounds like a narcissist, how has he made you feel like you’re in the wrong for simply living your life? also taking your phone for the summer¿ my only advice is to go to University and DO NOT TURN YOUR LOCATION BACK ON. What’s he gonna do, track you down? You are only enabling his control over you by doing this. My parents tried that hooh-hah with me, I simply stopped going home during holidays (I type this from my new house in my Uni city) and stopped speaking to them till they realised i am an not just an adult but a PERSON because tf. i will do what i want, everyone deserves that right.
Yeah but he’s a strict asian dad who has different standards to normal parents (not allowed to drink alcohol/drugs which I haven’t).I just cant go against him otherwise it will ruin my relationship with him.I just want him to let me out and trust me.I just dk how i should go about it.I think i have to just wait till university to be my own person😕.I dont know how to fix this.
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Anonbro1
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Does he trust that friend of yours?
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Anonymous #3
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damnn, I knew some parents were strict, but having your location tracked??? 😂
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
damnn, I knew some parents were strict, but having your location tracked??? 😂
Tbf hes had my location for a while just for normal reasons and never checked it anyways but the fact i turned it off (he got a text) just made it so obvious that was doing something behind his back or something
(Original post by Anonbro1)
Does he trust that friend of yours?
Yeah shes been around my house couple times n he spoke to her but he doesn’t trust me in the first place.Hes just so overprotective for no reason
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N. Auditoré
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah but he’s a strict asian dad who has different standards to normal parents (not allowed to drink alcohol/drugs which I haven’t).I just cant go against him otherwise it will ruin my relationship with him.I just want him to let me out and trust me.I just dk how i should go about it.I think i have to just wait till university to be my own person😕.I dont know how to fix this.
Just because he’s a strict Asian dad doesn’t mean he’s allowed to violate your autonomy. Culture ≠ justification, it’s wrong regardless. If your relationship with your father is contingent on him being able to control your life and whereabouts I’m sorry to inform you but you are in an unhealthy, abusive relationship. the fact that u justify this makes it more evident that you are probably a long-time victim of narcissism. There is no ‘trust’ in this scenario, only control. ‘Overprotective’ you called him, but from what? Unfortunately, you have to take a leap and stand your ground and establish that you’re an adult, if you don’t you’ll be under his control for the foreseeable future. This isn’t something you fix, it’s something you stop.

Good luck.
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Anonbro1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah shes been around my house couple times n he spoke to her but he doesn’t trust me in the first place.Hes just so overprotective for no reason
Just apologize for doing it and say that you were with her and that he can ask her if he wants to?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by N. Auditoré)
Just because he’s a strict Asian dad doesn’t mean he’s allowed to violate your autonomy. Culture ≠ justification, it’s wrong regardless. If your relationship with your father is contingent on him being able to control your life and whereabouts I’m sorry to inform you but you are in an unhealthy, abusive relationship. the fact that u justify this makes it more evident that you are probably a long-time victim of narcissism. There is no ‘trust’ in this scenario, only control. ‘Overprotective’ you called him, but from what? Unfortunately, you have to take a leap and stand your ground and establish that you’re an adult, if you don’t you’ll be under his control for the foreseeable future. This isn’t something you fix, it’s something you stop.

Good luck.
I don’t know how i would stop something like peacefully.Like its not like i can sit down with him and have a conversation it just will not work with him. The only way i see out is university for a while but then after the 3 years idk how he would act but i would have my own car and job by then hopefully.Im just really unlucky that i grew up with a dad like this.
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