I feel that if I don’t text back every 3 seconds, he’ll lose interest

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I’ve been talking to this guy online for 3 weeks now - we’re both 18 - and he messages A LOT. Honestly, I don’t know how he copes because he wakes up at 7am and doesn’t sleep until 4am, but that’s a whole other story.
I, on the other hand, have part-time work and plans with friends this summer, the latter of which I sometimes find myself cancelling to save time for him.
That’s my own fault, of course, but I can’t help but worry that if I only text once an hour or so, bar when I’m at work for 8 hours, he’ll give up.
Obviously then it wasn’t meant to be...a part of me just wishes he’d understand my priorities instead of getting upset.
0
reply
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
The way infatuation works is that you spend some time with someone, with that time being special.
And then you are apart. And whilst you are apart you are thinking about the other person.

Therefore you can keep him infatuated in you by getting together with him and having a fantastic time with him. Whilst also leaving in him in some doubt as to whether you will stick with him in the long term. In your case it's highly reasonable for you to have some doiubts about him because you're both 18 and because of his extreme clinginess and because he doesn't have enough going on in his life outside of you.

You don't need to slap him in his face about your doubts, or to nag him about them. Just mentioning or hinting at them - once - at a suitable time in a conversation should be enough and should be the polite classy way of doing it. Whilst also giving him lots of confirmation about his good points.

And then between meetings you restrict your texts to him to thanking him for the great date the day before. And then arranging the time, day, place and theme of your next date. Any general conversation you have with him should not be done via text. It should be done face to face.

If you haven't met yet, start throwing out soft closes. Where you're starting the ball rolling on meeting.
If you have met, but due to distance could only meet twice a year, then put him on the back burner, and look to getting a boyfriend that lives close to you that you can meet often.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
The way infatuation works is that you spend some time with someone, with that time being special.
And then you are apart. And whilst you are apart you are thinking about the other person.

Therefore you can keep him infatuated in you by getting together with him and having a fantastic time with him. Whilst also leaving in him in some doubt as to whether you will stick with him in the long term. In your case it's highly reasonable for you to have some doiubts about him because you're both 18 and because of his extreme clinginess and because he doesn't have enough going on in his life outside of you.

You don't need to slap him in his face about your doubts, or to nag him about them. Just mentioning or hinting at them - once - at a suitable time in a conversation should be enough and should be the polite classy way of doing it. Whilst also giving him lots of confirmation about his good points.

And then between meetings you restrict your texts to him to thanking him for the great date the day before. And then arranging the time, day, place and theme of your next date. Any general conversation you have with him should not be done via text. It should be done face to face.

If you haven't met yet, start throwing out soft closes. Where you're starting the ball rolling on meeting.
If you have met, but due to distance could only meet twice a year, then put him on the back burner, and look to getting a boyfriend that lives close to you that you can meet often.
Thank you so much. This was super helpful . Hope you’re well!
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Feeling behind at school/college? What is the best thing your teachers could to help you catch up?

Extra compulsory independent learning activities (eg, homework tasks) (17)
7.17%
Run extra compulsory lessons or workshops (35)
14.77%
Focus on making the normal lesson time with them as high quality as possible (42)
17.72%
Focus on making the normal learning resources as high quality/accessible as possible (34)
14.35%
Provide extra optional activities, lessons and/or workshops (63)
26.58%
Assess students, decide who needs extra support and focus on these students (46)
19.41%

Watched Threads

View All