I’ve a deep fear of approaching girls

I’m a 18 yo guy with 0 confidence, especially regarding my appearance.

I’ve seen this dude’s videos on Youtube… he’s an handsome blonde ( and tall ) guy that has so much confidence that he approaches girls on the streets. And usually gets numbers too. I know that maybe my country is way more strict and diffident ( nobody wants to be approached especially on the streets ) but i felt very bad while i was watching his videos. It gave me so much anxiety that I started to doubt about my future… does a guy REALLY have to approach random girls like that? Just to be in a relationship? I’ve never heard about that way of getting to know people.

Can you help me out?

everybody does all kinds of stuff when the cameras are on.

especially if they’re going to be getting paid from it.

Reply 2

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post by Anonymous

I’m a 18 yo guy with 0 confidence, especially regarding my appearance.

Can you help me out?

What are the issues with your appearance? Is it you don't feel you're good looking, are you overweight? are you an ethnic minority or are you short? Either way, I would suggest you try and make the best with what you've got. You can get yourself styled, and the right outfit and a decent haircut can really transform a guys appearance (I'm sure you've seen all these chat shows etc where they give someone a makeover, and how much better they feel afterwards).

Do you exercise? If not, start doing so. As well as the looks, health and fitness benefits of exercising, you'll probably find you start liking yourself more, and feel better (exercise releases endorphins and dopamine (basically feel-good hormones)). Also, try carrying yourself in a confident way; walk tall, and look ahead... and try smiling once in a while :wink:

There's a lot of truth in that old saying "Act like a king to get treated like a king"

I’ve seen this dude’s videos on Youtube… he’s an handsome blonde ( and tall ) guy that has so much confidence that he approaches girls on the streets. And usually gets numbers too. I know that maybe my country is way more strict and diffident ( nobody wants to be approached especially on the streets ) but i felt very bad while i was watching his videos. It gave me so much anxiety that I started to doubt about my future… does a guy REALLY have to approach random girls like that? Just to be in a relationship? I’ve never heard about that way of getting to know people.

Don't fall for that... it's just a sales pitch.

Sounds like you've seen a Pick Up Artist video, it may work if you're naturally good looking charming etc. but the average guy doing that will only be viewed as a nuisance or a pest. In fact, many shopping malls in the western world have banned these so-called PUA's following complaints from women who feel they're being harassed. Granted, he may have got a few numbers... but what they don't show you are all the 00's of time a girl has told him to (in no uncertain terms) get lost.

Besides, fair enough, they may get a number (or whatever) but do they ever explain about how to follow it up? I'll bet you most girls would probably give a fake number or block his number as soon as he tries to call them.

I used to be a bit like you (shy, always second guessing myself etc.) but you know what I did to start to improve my confidence when talking to women? I just started chatting to checkout girls in supermarkets. Now I'm not talking about getting numbers or anything like that, it's just about getting used to breaking the ice an talking to people. Youi just talk about general stuff (e.g. weather, how their shift is going, etc.). You'll be surprised how much people can open up, and as you'll only be there for a few minutes, there's little chance of an uncomfortable silence developing.

Just remember, at this stage, we're not on about getting numbers, it's just to get you used to talking to people. Try it, and see how you get on. It's by no means the answer to all your problems... but it's a start :smile:

Reply 3

ANM775

20

Original post by Anonymous

I’m a 18 yo guy with 0 confidence, especially regarding my appearance.

I’ve seen this dude’s videos on Youtube… he’s an handsome blonde ( and tall ) guy that has so much confidence that he approaches girls on the streets. And usually gets numbers too. I know that maybe my country is way more strict and diffident ( nobody wants to be approached especially on the streets ) but i felt very bad while i was watching his videos. It gave me so much anxiety that I started to doubt about my future… does a guy REALLY have to approach random girls like that? Just to be in a relationship? I’ve never heard about that way of getting to know people.

Can you help me out?

Who was the dude?

was it James Tusk?

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I’m a 18 yo guy with 0 confidence, especially regarding my appearance.

I’ve seen this dude’s videos on Youtube… he’s an handsome blonde ( and tall ) guy that has so much confidence that he approaches girls on the streets. And usually gets numbers too. I know that maybe my country is way more strict and diffident ( nobody wants to be approached especially on the streets ) but i felt very bad while i was watching his videos. It gave me so much anxiety that I started to doubt about my future… does a guy REALLY have to approach random girls like that? Just to be in a relationship? I’ve never heard about that way of getting to know people.

Can you help me out?

If you're talking about thatwasepic, he has confidence because he's doing it as a job and for creativity since its his passion. thatwasepic isn't some "red pill pickup artist" hes just doing it for fun.

The only way to gain confidence is to just do what it is you like and to also groom yourself. Go to the gym, start eating healthy, keep your hair tidy and get a job

Reply 5

aliciana

9

youtube isn't real life, almost no one meets that way

Original post by aliciana

youtube isn't real life, almost no one meets that way

@ANM775 would disagree..

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ANM775

Who was the dude?

was it James Tusk?

nope it was a guy that has a channel called “ThatWasEpic”

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

If you're talking about thatwasepic, he has confidence because he's doing it as a job and for creativity since its his passion. thatwasepic isn't some "red pill pickup artist" hes just doing it for fun.

The only way to gain confidence is to just do what it is you like and to also groom yourself. Go to the gym, start eating healthy, keep your hair tidy and get a job

i know he’s not a pick up artist, but it’s just the concept of approaching girls that gives me chills. I know he does pranks, or just tries jokes that people suggest him, but he simply approaches tons of girls and that’s the most scary thing i might think of. Even asking a girl if she got a pen, or for the time.

Anyway i appreciated your suggestions

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

i know he’s not a pick up artist, but it’s just the concept of approaching girls that gives me chills. I know he does pranks, or just tries jokes that people suggest him, but he simply approaches tons of girls and that’s the most scary thing i might think of. Even asking a girl if she got a pen, or for the time.

Anyway i appreciated your suggestions

What's so scary about it though? you're approaching someone who doesn't know you or your social circle so if you say something wrong (which won't happen) she is just going to roll her eyes and walk away. There's nothing to fear because you can't be scared 24/7 for no reason. This isn't even about approaching wimmins, its also about taking on tasks in life that are also spooky but really aren't

Reply 10

Drewski

19

Good. Don't do it. It's really ****ing creepy.

I’ve a deep fear of approaching girls

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