What do with a potentially toxic friend?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I have a friend whom I helped get her promotion but, recently, she seems to have turned into someone is very jealous of the fact that my workload is comparatively light to her. She is in her a different team that deals more directly with COVID pressures.
• When I pulled a piece of work to show it, she said that she did that at a much junior grade to I am now. She is junior to me despite being 23 years older than I am now.
• She seems to look at my Teams status and asks where I am when it says that I am away – when I am on appointments or have not been on Teams for a while
• When I got positive applause for a slide deck that I made, she was like anyone can make that and I do that all time.
• She does think my job is light and I am at risk of being de-skilled
She kind of snaps at me at lot – A LOT. I understand that she is working so hard, but I wonder if she is stressed. Sometimes its things in my personal life when I ask for advice, but others it is something like hating on a colleague who made my life a living hell two years ago. She once went a bit too far but then called me to apologise but then started to ranting and discssing about how my job is not compared ot her..
What should I do?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#2
Anyone?
0
reply
Final Fantasy
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
Report her ass and then ignore her from now on. Don't bother responding unless it's work related.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Final Fantasy)
Report her ass and then ignore her from now on. Don't bother responding unless it's work related.
Would you do so?
0
reply
Final Fantasy
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Would you do so?
Yes, absolutely. If they were on my team, I'd also get them dismissed. I have no patience for people like that. Also regarding Teams status, I have noticed that it only goes on Away status if you are not using Teams itself for a while. I'm often away or busy all the time as are my colleagues. You don't have to explain to this person anything - only your line manager if asked.
Last edited by Final Fantasy; 1 month ago
0
reply
-erikaka-
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
Ignore her and block her.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#7
(Original post by -erikaka-)
Ignore her and block her.
You think so...
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by Final Fantasy)
Yes, absolutely. If they were on my team, I'd also get them dismissed. I have no patience for people like that. Also regarding Teams status, I have noticed that it only goes on Away status if you are not using Teams itself for a while. I'm often away or busy all the time as are my colleagues. You don't have to explain to this person anything - only your line manager if asked.
I mean she has been so supportive but been difficult recently.
0
reply
Final Fantasy
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 month ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
I mean she has been so supportive but been difficult recently.
No, she hasn't - you're being manipulated. She is using you and then abusing you. Get rid.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by Final Fantasy)
No, she hasn't - you're being manipulated. She is using you and then abusing you. Get rid.
Do you think she's gaslighting?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#11
I feel really bad cutting her out my life. She has helped me so much..
0
reply
Final Fantasy
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 month ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
Do you think she's gaslighting?
What do you mean? Like sniffing or misusing flammable liquids? If she's bringing a zippo lighter and lighter fluid into work or something and threatening you with it, then definitely report her - that's unacceptable behaviour.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#13
(Original post by Final Fantasy)
What do you mean? Like sniffing or misusing flammable liquids? If she's bringing a zippo lighter and lighter fluid into work or something and threatening you with it, then definitely report her - that's unacceptable behaviour.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that's seen in abusive relationships. It's the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them. A victim of gaslighting can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity
0
reply
YaliaV123
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#14
Report 1 month ago
#14
Don’t tell her anything about your personal life and only talk to her when you need to. She isn’t your friend.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#15
Report 1 month ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have a friend whom I helped get her promotion but, recently, she seems to have turned into someone is very jealous of the fact that my workload is comparatively light to her. She is in her a different team that deals more directly with COVID pressures.
• When I pulled a piece of work to show it, she said that she did that at a much junior grade to I am now. She is junior to me despite being 23 years older than I am now.
• She seems to look at my Teams status and asks where I am when it says that I am away – when I am on appointments or have not been on Teams for a while
• When I got positive applause for a slide deck that I made, she was like anyone can make that and I do that all time.
• She does think my job is light and I am at risk of being de-skilled
She kind of snaps at me at lot – A LOT. I understand that she is working so hard, but I wonder if she is stressed. Sometimes its things in my personal life when I ask for advice, but others it is something like hating on a colleague who made my life a living hell two years ago. She once went a bit too far but then called me to apologise but then started to ranting and discssing about how my job is not compared ot her..
What should I do?
She sounds like a person you need to cut out your life. Even if you are stressed, you don’t treat friends like that and try and undermine them. If I was you I’d distance myself from her in anyway I can. Stop helping her or discussing your workload with her. These types of people are dangerous as they can try and sabotage your career out of jealousy or spite
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#16
Report 1 month ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel really bad cutting her out my life. She has helped me so much..
She’s clearing manipulating you as you will be coming across as a pushover if you are letting her get away with her in appropriate and bullying behaviour
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#17
(Original post by YaliaV123)
Don’t tell her anything about your personal life and only talk to her when you need to. She isn’t your friend.
(Original post by Anonymous)
She sounds like a person you need to cut out your life. Even if you are stressed, you don’t treat friends like that and try and undermine them. If I was you I’d distance myself from her in anyway I can. Stop helping her or discussing your workload with her. These types of people are dangerous as they can try and sabotage your career out of jealousy or spite
(Original post by Anonymous)
She’s clearing manipulating you as you will be coming across as a pushover if you are letting her get away with her in appropriate and bullying behaviour
I am just frustrated. She was not like this six months ago -- she was dealing with my insecurities when I got this job. All of a sudden she has completely changed and in the past months has gotten a lot worse.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#18
(Original post by YaliaV123)
Don’t tell her anything about your personal life and only talk to her when you need to. She isn’t your friend.
I feel so sad..
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
She sounds like a person you need to cut out your life. Even if you are stressed, you don’t treat friends like that and try and undermine them. If I was you I’d distance myself from her in anyway I can. Stop helping her or discussing your workload with her. These types of people are dangerous as they can try and sabotage your career out of jealousy or spite
She has been keeping tabs on my teams profile, which makes me wonder what's going on..
0
reply
Final Fantasy
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#20
Report 1 month ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that's seen in abusive relationships. It's the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them. A victim of gaslighting can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity
Oh right. Thought you meant something else lol. Yeah sounds about right - she is using a form of emotional abuse towards you like you described here. The last part regarding sanity, I'd say it also pushes people to commit suicide. That's how bad it can get.
Last edited by Final Fantasy; 1 month ago
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Feeling behind at school/college? What is the best thing your teachers could to help you catch up?

Extra compulsory independent learning activities (eg, homework tasks) (14)
6.64%
Run extra compulsory lessons or workshops (34)
16.11%
Focus on making the normal lesson time with them as high quality as possible (34)
16.11%
Focus on making the normal learning resources as high quality/accessible as possible (31)
14.69%
Provide extra optional activities, lessons and/or workshops (57)
27.01%
Assess students, decide who needs extra support and focus on these students (41)
19.43%

Watched Threads

View All