The Student Room Group

Uni crisis

so. I deferred my place to uni last year because I wasnt ready to go. i thought giving it a year would help, but time has gone soo fast. and for months i've just been pondering and worrying about my place at uni.

perhaps im too comfortable with my life at home, the uni i really love is almost 3 hours away but i just cant bring myself to go. im thinking of applying through clearing to a uni thats closer, but deep down i just have no idea what is right for me. the uni closer to me is really good but i kinda prefer the course and overall uni at my original choice. i have severe anxiety and thinking about all this has made me depressed,
i should be excited about this and not anxious all the time. any advice is rlly appreciated, plz dont be mean<33
Reply 1
Why did you originally choose it, and are those reasons still true today?

Are you worried about moving out, or is that a 3 hour commute you're facing?
Original post by Anonymous
so. I deferred my place to uni last year because I wasnt ready to go. i thought giving it a year would help, but time has gone soo fast. and for months i've just been pondering and worrying about my place at uni.

perhaps im too comfortable with my life at home, the uni i really love is almost 3 hours away but i just cant bring myself to go. im thinking of applying through clearing to a uni thats closer, but deep down i just have no idea what is right for me. the uni closer to me is really good but i kinda prefer the course and overall uni at my original choice. i have severe anxiety and thinking about all this has made me depressed,
i should be excited about this and not anxious all the time. any advice is rlly appreciated, plz dont be mean<33

University isn't for everyone, especially if you want to enter a career where alternatives are possible (e.g. apprenticeships), so don't feel pressured if that route isn't right for you. It might be a good idea to get work experience to try and pinpoint which sector might interest you, rushing than jumping into a degree you've chosen quickly.

If you still want to go to uni, maybe write a list of all the things that are making you anxious or feel unready, so you can work out how to address them. Are you worried about homesickness or living independently?
omg i'm literally in the same place as you! I deferred my entry to this year and the uni i want to go to is about an hour and a half away. I also suffer from severe anxiety and i'm worried about travelling to the uni alone and the uni life itself. I've spent much of my year out at home and i feel that i've gotten too comfortable. I'm excited about uni but am also anxious. Sorry, I couldn't be of help :frown:
Reply 4
Original post by ThomH97
Why did you originally choose it, and are those reasons still true today?

Are you worried about moving out, or is that a 3 hour commute you're facing?

i chose because i really love this uni, and i knew most people there, i’m quite ambitious so i thought i could do it, but i started to doubt myself this past year because of my anxiety and the distance. maybe i’d be happier closer to home but i dont know. i’m worried about moving out and also the commute as i would want to visit home often, and thanks for commenting :smile:
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
i chose because i really love this uni, and i knew most people there, i’m quite ambitious so i thought i could do it, but i started to doubt myself this past year because of my anxiety and the distance. maybe i’d be happier closer to home but i dont know. i’m worried about moving out and also the commute as i would want to visit home often, and thanks for commenting :smile:

Presumably you've gotten in? Was it tight with your grades?

Ultimately, you're going to have to move out at some point so will have conquer that fear eventually. That's easiest to do it when you're surrounded by lots of others doing the same with support from a university, though there will always be 'local' students too.

I think try to separate your concerns with moving out from your concerns with the uni. It's still your decision, but might make it simpler.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
omg i'm literally in the same place as you! I deferred my entry to this year and the uni i want to go to is about an hour and a half away. I also suffer from severe anxiety and i'm worried about travelling to the uni alone and the uni life itself. I've spent much of my year out at home and i feel that i've gotten too comfortable. I'm excited about uni but am also anxious. Sorry, I couldn't be of help :frown:

aw i’m glad theres someone else i can relate too🥺 the anxiety makes it that much worse, and makes it really hard to put my thoughts into place. i suppose you could find time to visit home often as you’re not too far away. i really hope things work out for you and good luck in whatever you do<3 you got this
Reply 7
Original post by PhoenixFortune
University isn't for everyone, especially if you want to enter a career where alternatives are possible (e.g. apprenticeships), so don't feel pressured if that route isn't right for you. It might be a good idea to get work experience to try and pinpoint which sector might interest you, rushing than jumping into a degree you've chosen quickly.

If you still want to go to uni, maybe write a list of all the things that are making you anxious or feel unready, so you can work out how to address them. Are you worried about homesickness or living independently?

thanks for the advice :smile: i think im most worried about homesickness and being away from those i care about, being in my hometown is all ive ever known. i think that going to university is something i want to do, my anxiety just makes it really hard to know when and how to go about it
Reply 8
Original post by ThomH97
Presumably you've gotten in? Was it tight with your grades?

Ultimately, you're going to have to move out at some point so will have conquer that fear eventually. That's easiest to do it when you're surrounded by lots of others doing the same with support from a university, though there will always be 'local' students too.

I think try to separate your concerns with moving out from your concerns with the uni. It's still your decision, but might make it simpler.

thanks i’ll try that :smile: yes ive got in, i deferred my place last year, i got better grades than i needed which i was pleased about, its just my anxiety thats stopping me from taking the first step
Original post by Anonymous
thanks for the advice :smile: i think im most worried about homesickness and being away from those i care about, being in my hometown is all ive ever known. i think that going to university is something i want to do, my anxiety just makes it really hard to know when and how to go about it

Have you ever spent time away from your hometown alone? Going on a short trip by yourself might help?
Original post by Anonymous
so. I deferred my place to uni last year because I wasnt ready to go. i thought giving it a year would help, but time has gone soo fast. and for months i've just been pondering and worrying about my place at uni.

perhaps im too comfortable with my life at home, the uni i really love is almost 3 hours away but i just cant bring myself to go. im thinking of applying through clearing to a uni thats closer, but deep down i just have no idea what is right for me. the uni closer to me is really good but i kinda prefer the course and overall uni at my original choice. i have severe anxiety and thinking about all this has made me depressed,
i should be excited about this and not anxious all the time. any advice is rlly appreciated, plz dont be mean<33

Hi there,

I was in a similar position after my A levels and decided to take a gap year. Sometimes the best way to overcome anxiety about leaving home is to 'trick your mind' lol. I moved away 10000 miles to come to Uni in England, my family is a 15 hour flight away and just thinking about that gave me bare panic attacks. I started telling myself uni is just like one big slumber party and that in order to grow as a person I have to do things outside of my comfort zone. I told my anxiety that we had to coexist together and it shouldn't be too loud.

All I'm saying is, yes leaving your hometown is terrifying, but that isn't reason enough to not try :smile:. And if you try it out and simply can't handle it, home will always be waiting for you :smile:

Hope this helps and all the best !

Lee- UoP Rep
Original post by Anonymous
so. I deferred my place to uni last year because I wasnt ready to go. i thought giving it a year would help, but time has gone soo fast. and for months i've just been pondering and worrying about my place at uni.

perhaps im too comfortable with my life at home, the uni i really love is almost 3 hours away but i just cant bring myself to go. im thinking of applying through clearing to a uni thats closer, but deep down i just have no idea what is right for me. the uni closer to me is really good but i kinda prefer the course and overall uni at my original choice. i have severe anxiety and thinking about all this has made me depressed,
i should be excited about this and not anxious all the time. any advice is rlly appreciated, plz dont be mean<33

3 hours from home is long for someone with anxiety who feels like they will want to come home often.

Have you tried talking to Admissions at the uni (or any unis) closer to home to see if they have spaces on your course and whether they would be able to offer you student accommodation? It doesn't hurt to explore the possibility of switching to a different uni, and it wouldn't necessarily have to be the one closest to where you live. A one or two hour distance may make you feel more comfortable psychologically.

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