Hi there! I can relate a bit, as I've just finished my A levels so have also been spending a long Summer holiday pretty much doing nothing. I totally get what you mean about avoiding tasks like playing chess, the piano, or reading. All of these are encompassed under my broad procrastination umbrella. Procrastination tasks can either be active or passive. My active procrastination tasks include being on here (TSR), stroking my cat, and playing the highly-addictive Homescapes. So, you "play(ing) video games/scroll(ing) on social media" are both forms of active procrastination. My passive procrastination tasks are mainly (binge-)watching shows on
Netflix, BBC, Channel 4, or YouTube.
I also get what you mean about A levels and Uni. It felt at times that my school hadn't prepared me that well for A levels and had just expected me to know the skills required for research (history project, NEA), absorbing them like a sponge. For uni, I'm lucky in many ways because I've had a life-long love of music, so knew I was going to go down that route. However, I can understand where you're having difficulties, with a lack of a specific interest.
I'd recommend going on
Ted.com and binge-watching their talks. Throw yourself into their podcasts! Soon you'll start to see the areas that spark your interest. Ted will also clarify your niche area of interest through their recommendation algorithm, based on your watching history. Not only can you watch these speakers from the comfort of your bed, you can listen to them as you're playing video games and scrolling social media.
Another thing I can relate with is the issue of reading. I find it a bit difficult to skim read (I don't have dyslexia, but have word-finding problems) so reading books takes me longer than the average person. I have used some of the tips of
this video to increase my speed. Like with any skill, though,
practise makes perfect.
I can also totally relate when it comes to having difficulties making deep, long-lasting friendships. I am neuro-
diverse, rather than neuro-typical. This means I have to camouflage my personality to fit into the neuro-typical crowds, but I find it easier to socialize with other neuro-diverse people (we just click). Are there any people / is there anyone in your life that you feel really comfortable socializing around? You'll feel the opposite way around them than the way you felt around those girls at school.
Hope this helps
