So bored and lonely (Y11 summer)

(Original post by sciencegcsesss)
Hi, this is just a rant and me wondering if anyone else feels the same way (and I do not want to sound ungrateful or anything, I know how fortunate I am I just want to rant and be moody).
I finished my GCSEs on 28th May, and am on a 3 month summer break. Most of the time I just do some chores and play video games/scroll on social media/watch Netflix (for anything like my favourite show that they removed!) and I rarely make any memories/actually do ANYTHING fun or literally anything that I didn’t have the time for during assessments. I get irritable easily and I feel lonely a lot, and I sometimes wonder what is the point of being off school if it’s just like the first lockdown and I just stay at home for three months.
Sometimes I want to play chess, piano and read but, (and it is ridiculous when you see it written out), most of the time I’m in a mindset where thinking=effort=something I can’t do=must avoid. And I realised the same thing last year, but I used to read so much as I child and now I’m wasting my holiday and ruining my eyesight and brain cells. I have read about 5 books in nearly 7 months and about 4 the previous year, so sometimes when I try to read I just get scared of how poorly read I am and it makes me just want to give up; and the thought of taking A Level Literature and the coursework just makes me feel so ill-prepared and makes me think what is the point of taking it.
But I feel like I don’t actually like anything. I find some things interesting but enough to actually study them and go to university? I’m scared that it’s just something like morbid curiosity, where you’re just interested in it skin-deep.
I didn’t make any real friends at high school because it’s pretty unlikely in a group of 300 students where the only thing you have in common is your age and location. I tried with 2 people (where we have similar hobbies etc) but when we ‘talk’ we literally just sit there in silence, unless it’s about things like TikTok and bad fan fiction.
I am just sooooo bored and I really wanted to do fun things, or even just going hiking because we’re in a group and it’s safe.
Can anyone else relate?

(Original post by nnth)
Hi there! I can relate a bit, as I've just finished my A levels so have also been spending a long Summer holiday pretty much doing nothing. I totally get what you mean about avoiding tasks like playing chess, the piano, or reading. All of these are encompassed under my broad procrastination umbrella. Procrastination tasks can either be active or passive. My active procrastination tasks include being on here (TSR), stroking my cat, and playing the highly-addictive Homescapes. So, you "play(ing) video games/scroll(ing) on social media" are both forms of active procrastination. My passive procrastination tasks are mainly (binge-)watching shows on Netflix, BBC, Channel 4, or YouTube.

I also get what you mean about A levels and Uni. It felt at times that my school hadn't prepared me that well for A levels and had just expected me to know the skills required for research (history project, NEA), absorbing them like a sponge. For uni, I'm lucky in many ways because I've had a life-long love of music, so knew I was going to go down that route. However, I can understand where you're having difficulties, with a lack of a specific interest.

I'd recommend going on Ted.com and binge-watching their talks. Throw yourself into their podcasts! Soon you'll start to see the areas that spark your interest. Ted will also clarify your niche area of interest through their recommendation algorithm, based on your watching history. Not only can you watch these speakers from the comfort of your bed, you can listen to them as you're playing video games and scrolling social media.

Another thing I can relate with is the issue of reading. I find it a bit difficult to skim read (I don't have dyslexia, but have word-finding problems) so reading books takes me longer than the average person. I have used some of the tips of this video to increase my speed. Like with any skill, though, practise makes perfect.

I can also totally relate when it comes to having difficulties making deep, long-lasting friendships. I am neuro-diverse, rather than neuro-typical. This means I have to camouflage my personality to fit into the neuro-typical crowds, but I find it easier to socialize with other neuro-diverse people (we just click). Are there any people / is there anyone in your life that you feel really comfortable socializing around? You'll feel the opposite way around them than the way you felt around those girls at school.

Hope this helps

(Original post by sciencegcsesss)
Hi, thank you for your advice and I’m sorry for the late reply. I really like Ted-ed videos on YouTube so I’ll definitely start watching them on a daily basis, and thanks again for linking that video on reading faster.
In terms of friends, I’d say my only real friend is my mum and we just get each other and have good banter. I think I just didn’t have a lot in common with most of the people at my school, and I just really didn’t like my school either.
Thank you, it did help a lot.

(Original post by AimPerfectly)
Hi, I can't say I can relate to you 100% but it's good that you're letting out how you feel somewhere. I also finished my GCSEs the same day as you so I also have a 3 month summer break. Kind of sad that 2 months of it has already gone but yeah. Most of the time, like you, I either play games or watch netflix but I've pushed myself to go outside almost everyday too. I normally never ever go out unless it's for school but this summer I decided to go out with friends a couple times which I have never done before. I don't have many friends so really I just went out with one friend and their friends but it was fun nonetheless. However, going out with family seems to be even more fun as I have been doing that every saturday. I live in London, not sure where you are, but I recommend going to places like Chinatown, Camden Town or South Bank and eating lots of delicious food with friends and family if possible. Although, I get that sometimes you either just want to be alone or you don't have an option. Because of this, I've also been going out for a run 3 times a week by myself. I tried to listen to music while running but that just didn't work out as I didn't get the same feelings of peace and quiet. I really recommend just going out for a wqalk or a run in the park and just clearing your mind while still getting some daily exercise . The sixth form I'm going to this year is quite rigorous so they have already sent us lots of preparation work to do before September so I've been working on that too. It's nice to do a little bit everyday and even if your school don't send anything it's nice to work on stuff you enjoy or want to get better at (possibly relating to the subjects you choose/chose). I personally don't read books like at all because I don't have an interest in them but I do enjoy coding so I do that in my free time but I also feel like it can get a bit overwhelming and just stop doing it then I feel guilty that I haven't been doing it a while. I want to get ahead because coding is part of computer science which I will be taking this year as an A-level but also sometimes you just can't be bothered and there's not really anything you can do about it. Once you start doing the work though and be bothered, you can't stop and when you do it, it feels like all you want to do is that because you're having lots of a fun! It seems like one of the main things is that you're really bored and want to do fun things with friends but you don't have anyone else to go out with. You're in the same situation as me and a lot of other people so if possible I really recommend going out with family if friends are not available because family won't just give up on you and it's so much fun to spend time with them and not having to pay anything yourself is a bonus . I don't know if I helped you very much and I hope I didn't make things worse for you but I'm open to conversing with you if you want