What's the Uni experience like with social anxiety?

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urlocalinmate
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I've made no friends in Year 12 and can't see much changing in Year 13... What about Uni though?
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4D Chess
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Only just finished first year and during a pandemic, so it was obviously extremely bad and depressing from start to finish. For a non pandemic year, it sounds like a dream since you would have many opportunities to meet people. It's just a matter of throwing yourself in those opportunities that arise.
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TSRAcc20
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If you make the effort things will change. You can't just do nothing and expect everything to randomly change just because it's uni.

That being said, it is a lot easier to make an effort in university. You can join clubs and societies to find people with similar interests so they're easier to talk to. While living in halls you can also make friends with your flatmates.

It's also helpful to remember that everyone will be nervous when starting university, and everyone is searching for new friends.
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University of Portsmouth Student Rep
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(Original post by urlocalinmate)
I've made no friends in Year 12 and can't see much changing in Year 13... What about Uni though?
Hi,

Sorry to hear about that! I get anxious as well, so my advice would be to definitely try to put yourself out there, especially in the first days of first year when everyone is nervous, because then at least you're in the same boat. Even if it's just turning to someone you're sitting next to or nearby and just say hi, introduce yourself, talk about the subject material (boring? challenging? interesting?), ask them questions too. People love to talk about themselves, and it takes the pressure off of you to speak and to say the 'right thing' (which is what I normally freak out over before, during and after conversations). Lectures can be intimidating, so maybe try seminars or other small gatherings? I believe seminars are a must to have someone because of that dreaded moment - the group project - where the teacher says "everyone choose amongst yourselves" and because you never said a word to anyone, or aren't acquainted with anyone, you awkwardly have to insert yourself somewhere (or be inserted). It's easier than we think to say hi to someone, especially when we're all new to something. And even if a friendship doesn't come out of a specific situation, it's okay, uni is a much bigger pond to fish in than high school. You'll be okay! I'm rooting for you! Hope that helps! Anything else, lmk!

Samantha, Official UoP Rep
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(Original post by urlocalinmate)
I've made no friends in Year 12 and can't see much changing in Year 13... What about Uni though?
it gets good. I didn't have that many friends during school but 1 year into uni during a pandemic and I defo feel like I've made some solid friends.
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urlocalinmate
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(Original post by GnomioandJules)
hahahahahaha.

Dont worry there will be plenty of safe spaces at uni full of other ******s who cannot make friends. You can all cry together
UNDERSTANDING 1 0 0

Before that **** kicked in, I made friends with relative ease.
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chlamydia9000
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Even as someone with extreme social anxiety I didn't find it too bad. There was a basic minimum of intelligence and respect that you don't find in school or college (did a computing course at college the year before and the cliquey *****iness reminded me of why I hated high school). Then again I didn't stay in halls and was a couple of years older the other students. Its definitely easier to make friends though. There's lots of other awkward people, and drinking equalises things.
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𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓵𝓪𝓭𝔂
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Daughter just finished freshers. She joined freshers groups on social media sites prior to starting uni and got chatting on line. The ones that study her same course she chatted to; they meet in person now and chat online this summer break too.
When she started uni she brought a white board and wipe pens. That went down a treat. It ended up turning into a chunder chart, come cleaning rota, come message board. She also brought some chocolates and biscuits. Plus 2 bottles of wine and some beer (she doesnt drink) . Plus playing cards and a board game. It was just a way to break the ice and say hi.

Because of covid, they got inventive and turned their flats into a themed bar crawl, plus halloween, valentines, all chipping in for a projector for movie nights, and other themed nights such as disney, 1920s, sports night etc. It wasn't parties all the time because they all had different schedules, but at least once a week they made an effort to all get together, and meet individually/smaller flat group the rest of the time.

So get chatting on line, and bring a few bits on move in day to say hi, welcome
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napqueen
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(Original post by urlocalinmate)
I've made no friends in Year 12 and can't see much changing in Year 13... What about Uni though?
Remember that when you go to uni you can be whoever you want to be. There is so many varietys of people unlike the people you spent all those years at school with. Go with an open mind, work on social skills and confiendce in the meantime and try to join a society that relates to a hobby of yours- this is a great way to meet likeminded people with similar interests.
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