My friend keeps triggering me

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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I had an unspecified eating disorder 5 years ago and recently had a relapse. I have only been eating two meals a day. However, I have managed to push myself to eat three and I’m really proud of myself.
My friend keeps going on about how she has put weight on and that she is no longer underweight. She said she wants to be slim but I told her you still can be slim at a healthy weight. I asked her not to talk about it with me as I disclosed my issues. She just ignored me and keeps mentioning it.

It’s starting to trigger me and make me feel unhappy, as I find it hard to gain wait. What should I do? She doesn’t have an eating disorder which is another reason why I’m struggling with what she’s saying, as she doesn’t realise how painful and destructive it is.
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threeportdrift
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I had an unspecified eating disorder 5 years ago and recently had a relapse. I have only been eating two meals a day. However, I have managed to push myself to eat three and I’m really proud of myself.
My friend keeps going on about how she has put weight on and that she is no longer underweight. She said she wants to be slim but I told her you still can be slim at a healthy weight. I asked her not to talk about it with me as I disclosed my issues. She just ignored me and keeps mentioning it.

It’s starting to trigger me and make me feel unhappy, as I find it hard to gain wait. What should I do? She doesn’t have an eating disorder which is another reason why I’m struggling with what she’s saying, as she doesn’t realise how painful and destructive it is.
If you've explained politely once, then the phrase you need are probably

Change the subject.
Be quiet!
Shut up!

With 'please' if you are feeling generous.

Otherwise, actively avoiding her while you are looking after yourself seems the best plan - and you can explain that to her if you think she will respond constructively.
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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Safeguard yourself - cut her off if it comes down to it. Your own priority has to be your own health and wellbeing :yes:
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Satori Tendō
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People don't really take disorders and mental health seriously. I relate, I've been belittled told I'm acting or exaggerating or just picking up on a trend. It really doesn't help that having these problems are almost idolised in a way on social media.

I also struggle to maintain a healthy weight but when it's a skinny person trying to be healthy it isn't as well praised as an overweight individual's healthy weight journey. Its always a you're "lucky" to be skinny attitude, why are you complaining?
Health is health, some just don't get that.

My theory is that people only believe what they perceive visually. I may look 'normal' with my clothes on but I don't have to look like a corpse to have struggles associated with being underweight. Also the beauty industry is a big culprit in trying to make it look like it's Ok. It really does not help us at all

I see your struggles, you're not alone. Try to sit down and have another proper conversation and tell her how you're feeling, but you know your friend better. If she's the type to not respond to that I would stay away from her, tell her you'd like some time apart for yourself.
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Anonymous #2
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Report 1 month ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I had an unspecified eating disorder 5 years ago and recently had a relapse. I have only been eating two meals a day. However, I have managed to push myself to eat three and I’m really proud of myself.
My friend keeps going on about how she has put weight on and that she is no longer underweight. She said she wants to be slim but I told her you still can be slim at a healthy weight. I asked her not to talk about it with me as I disclosed my issues. She just ignored me and keeps mentioning it.

It’s starting to trigger me and make me feel unhappy, as I find it hard to gain wait. What should I do? She doesn’t have an eating disorder which is another reason why I’m struggling with what she’s saying, as she doesn’t realise how painful and destructive it is.
Are you sure your friend doesn't have an ED? Not wanting to maintain a healthy weight is one of the symptoms after all....

As has already been said, your main priority should be you, and if your friend is triggering you and continuing to talk about her weight despite you asking her not to, it may be best to distance yourself, at least until you feel a bit more stable with your eating. Good luck, and hope you get back to a better place with the ED soon.

Also, please consider putting a TW if you make similar threads on the future - some people will find what you have written quite triggering.
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