My bf doesn’t know if he wants kids

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Anonymous #1
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Hi, My bf and I are 22-23 and been together for a couple of months and in the beginning he wanted kids and I wanted kids but not until we are both older and financially stable. However, the topic was brought up again and he told me he didn’t know, this made me upset because he was always telling me he wanted kids and we decided how many we wanted. But now he saying he’s doesn’t know now because he went over to his aunt house one day and saw how his little cousin acted and that cause him to not knowing if he wants kids now.

I don’t know if I’m making it a big deal but I feel like he put my hopes up and crushed them because he’s telling me now he doesn’t know if he wants kids.

I don’t know if I’m wasting my time because now I feel like he’s going to change his mind every couple of months, however, we are young still and only been dating for a few months. I’m scared since I know deep down at last minute if he change his mind about not wanting kids I would sacrifice not having kids.

Also, does it mean he doesn’t love me enough because he doesn’t want kids?
Am I not good enough for him to be the mother of his kids?
I don’t know I tend to overthink a lot but it just sucks that in the beginning he told me he wanted kids but now doesn’t know.
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ROTL94
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Sorry you decided how many kids you wanted to have with a guy you've only been with a couple of months? No wonder he's unsure now jfc.
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A Rolling Stone
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, My bf and I are 22-23 and been together for a couple of months and in the beginning he wanted kids and I wanted kids but not until we are both older and financially stable. However, the topic was brought up again and he told me he didn’t know, this made me upset because he was always telling me he wanted kids and we decided how many we wanted. But now he saying he’s doesn’t know now because he went over to his aunt house one day and saw how his little cousin acted and that cause him to not knowing if he wants kids now.

I don’t know if I’m making it a big deal but I feel like he put my hopes up and crushed them because he’s telling me now he doesn’t know if he wants kids.

I don’t know if I’m wasting my time because now I feel like he’s going to change his mind every couple of months, however, we are young still and only been dating for a few months. I’m scared since I know deep down at last minute if he change his mind about not wanting kids I would sacrifice not having kids.

Also, does it mean he doesn’t love me enough because he doesn’t want kids?
Am I not good enough for him to be the mother of his kids?
I don’t know I tend to overthink a lot but it just sucks that in the beginning he told me he wanted kids but now doesn’t know.
" and we decided how many we wanted."

you've been together for 2 months... please take a step back and chill...
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YaliaV123
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I would advise him to move to another country and change his identity.
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ashtolga23
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It's nothing about you being good enough, he's just properly considering one of the biggest possible life decisions.
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random_matt
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Love and wanting kids does not go hand in hand. Love is never enough for a relationship, one partner not wanting children is one of many examples. But you are young, he may change his mind. If not, it is over, go find someone else.
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Zarek
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It’s a bit early in the relationship to be dwelling on these things, you could break up for all manner of things long before this becomes and issue. For now just run with he’s hasn’t ruled it out. If you’re still together after at least a year and getting on you might want to discuss and decide if there’s a deal breaker. Also I agree with what others have said, it’s not personal.
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Anonbro1
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A religion that recognizes a spouse's right to have children sounds cool. Doesn't it?
[https://seekersguidance.org/answers/...what-can-i-do/]
Last edited by Anonbro1; 1 month ago
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shooonthebeat
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just wait till you're both ready.
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Son of the Sea
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You’ve only been together a few months, you might not even last as a couple so don’t let yourself be too affected by it.
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