is this rude of him?

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Anonymous #1
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I went on a date with a guy, he is in full time work and knows i'm a student not working. he's older and has more money. i was planning to offer to just split bill for drinks, he jumped in saying he'll pay this round and i'll get the next. It's fair enough, i did think he could ask what i prefer to do too but whatever.

Then at the end he goes although i didn't say anything to trigger it 'i never give [as in get the bill i think] without expecting something in return.' Fair enough in principle, but is that a bit rude to say? i'm always sensitive to others' situations, if i know i have more money than them i take it into account. he also drinks a lot more than me and wanted to get more and more rounds whereas i only wanted 1 drink.
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Anonymous #1
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PS he was not talking about sex as he didn't try and get sexual at all with me
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username3477548
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yes, that's a weird thing to say.
Last edited by username3477548; 1 month ago
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Vapordave
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Ew.
e: If it's not sexual it's still a bit weird
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ashtolga23
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It's weird, but did you not discuss the arrangements beforehand? I also wouldn't go and expect someone to want to pay.

If you just wanted one, maybe don't go for rounds and just buy your own drinks.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ashtolga23)
It's weird, but did you not discuss the arrangements beforehand? I also wouldn't go and expect someone to want to pay.

If you just wanted one, maybe don't go for rounds and just buy your own drinks.
No it seems weird to discuss paying for drinks beforehand. I might be old fashioned but i like it when a guy at least offers, especially when there's inequality with financial situations anyway.

Yeah with the new covid touch phone menus and one click payment thing i didn't get chance to intervene
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I went on a date with a guy, he is in full time work and knows i'm a student not working. he's older and has more money. i was planning to offer to just split bill for drinks, he jumped in saying he'll pay this round and i'll get the next. It's fair enough, i did think he could ask what i prefer to do too but whatever.

Then at the end he goes although i didn't say anything to trigger it 'i never give [as in get the bill i think] without expecting something in return.' Fair enough in principle, but is that a bit rude to say? i'm always sensitive to others' situations, if i know i have more money than them i take it into account. he also drinks a lot more than me and wanted to get more and more rounds whereas i only wanted 1 drink.
Would you be happy with a binge drinking boyfriend? The sort that once they start can't throw the booze down their neck quick enough?

He was making a sexual innuendo with his expecting something in return comment.

His behaviour was a bit rude and lacking in class. It all depends if this is typical of his general behaviour, or if he's a well mannered and classy man all round apart from when he's buying rounds of drinks on a date.

We can all say and do stupid things on dates that don't represent who and what we are.
And on the other hand, you can tell a lot about someone by how they speak and behave during a 40 minute date.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Would you be happy with a binge drinking boyfriend? The sort that once they start can't throw the booze down their neck quick enough?

He was making a sexual innuendo with his expecting something in return comment.

His behaviour was a bit rude and lacking in class. It all depends if this is typical of his general behaviour, or if he's a well mannered and classy man all round apart from when he's buying rounds of drinks on a date.

We can all say and do stupid things on dates that don't represent who and what we are.
And on the other hand, you can tell a lot about someone by how they speak and behave during a 40 minute date.
Exactly, i mean he wasn't binge drinking i just am quite lightweight, and his body language wasn't suggesting any attraction to me that's why i didn't take it as an innuendo... normally i would tho. But i felt this was stingy tbh and don't know if it's appropriate for me to turn down a date because i can't afford going out for drinks every week?
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Dunnig Kruger
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What are your instincts telling you? Do you think he deserves another date with you? Or do you think it's better if you move on and date someone else?

I'd say it's 50 50 from what you've told us. So it's all down to how he came across in general, which is something you can't cover on this forum as it'd take too long for you to write out all the details.

I'm confident you'll make the right decision on this.
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CaptainDuckie
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I feel like that’s just how he has always operated with all his dates, with the drinks and stuff. Wouldn’t think much of it, imo.

For the second bit, that does sound like he has used his experience to state that. But he seems quite heartless, and I’m sure what he said didn’t come from a very good place. I wouldn’t say it’s rude or weird though.

If you can’t afford drinks every week, maybe it’s best to just switch up the dates to a more affordable option.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
What are your instincts telling you? Do you think he deserves another date with you? Or do you think it's better if you move on and date someone else?

I'd say it's 50 50 from what you've told us. So it's all down to how he came across in general, which is something you can't cover on this forum as it'd take too long for you to write out all the details.

I'm confident you'll make the right decision on this.
I have been back and forth with him, you may be right bout the binge drinking thing as he has drunk texted me trying to talk inappropriately and it seemed was online talking to others as well even tho he was acting super keen

not worth it... dating feels impossible the more signs you learn to recognise early on
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