I’m hating my placement I want to leave

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Icingonmycake
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#1
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Hey guys,

This is my first time using TSR so forgive me if I do this wrong but as part of my uni degree, I need to do a placement in my third year. Due to covid- they’re lenient in the sense that you could work part time for 16 hours, study abroad or have a minimum placement of 20 weeks. All these options would count instead of a full year. Anyway- I was lucky in securing a full 12 month placement for a very large, established company. Of course I was really happy and proud and excited to work. I started my placement 1 month ago (early July) so this in my 4th week and I HATE IT. From the first week I could tell I wasn’t enjoying myself. Immediately I got given a bunch of roles, responsibilities which was super overwhelming. My handover (the student I replaced) only had 10 days to teach me everything which was nowhere near enough and because my role is so specific and only 1 student does it (there should be 2 students in my opinion) my managers (I report to multiple because the company is so big) they can’t help me with everything specifically.

I found myself crying every single day for 4 weeks straight. Before, during and after work I was sobbing my eyes out refusing to go work (I work from home so it’s not as if I even need to leave my house). I thought it’s because the job is new, I don’t really know much and I’ve never had a full time 9-5 ‘professional’ job like this which is why I must feeling like this. Whilst some things got easier and the more I practiced, the more I understood/got quicker at things- they would introduce me to harder stuff and my brain would feel fried at the end of the day.
I spoke to uni who essentially told me to ‘stick it out’ and that it’s a really good opportunity and everyone cries and it will get better over time. I didn’t really feel better after speaking to uni so instead I actually contacted HR and spoke to them. They could tell I was really upset and they spoke to my main line manager who ‘reduced’ my workload for me and told me to ask questions and for help. Whilst I felt better, the next day- my workload increased again. My manager has been on holiday all this week and I really struggled without him. Everyone is really friendly and nice and keeps telling me to ask questions but when I do- I have to wait for a long time for an answer (due to working from home) and I just feel dumb when I ask questions. Speaking to uni wasn’t helpful at all they made me feel like if I dropped out of this course- I would be doomed and will suffer with a bland CV.
The idea of being at this placement for 11 more months kills me inside and I don’t see the job getting better or me enjoying it. The hours are also really long and I find myself opening my laptop on my weekend to do the work because there’s so much of it.
I want to leave and find something else. Or I’m happy doing a 6 month placement but uni didn’t make me feel like that was an option. They made it seem like placement is just something everyone has to go with. They normalised feeling ‘sad’ and ‘hopeless’ which is something I don’t want to feel because I won’t make it to the end. I value my feelings and mental health more than some stupid placement. I’m happy to work in retail for the rest of the year. Whilst I know that’s not ideal and won’t make me stand out- it’s still an option.

I’m not sure exactly what I’m asking because I feel like my mind is made up. I want to wait 2 more weeks in case i feel any different but then after 6 weeks I want to hand in my resignation and look elsewhere. I know if I do that, I won’t be able to put this on my cv and the search will begin again with no guarantee I’ll find anything- but I also don’t want to leave and regret my decision. Do you think I’ll regret my decision if I leave? Is my mental health more important than looking good on my CV? Is this just something I need to ‘ride out’. Also time goes really really really slow. It doesn’t fly by at all so I doubt 11 months will go quick. The work is very admin-based and I can’t believe they give so much responsibility to a student who is only here for a year.
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Emma:-)
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(Original post by Icingonmycake)
Hey guys,

This is my first time using TSR so forgive me if I do this wrong but as part of my uni degree, I need to do a placement in my third year. Due to covid- they’re lenient in the sense that you could work part time for 16 hours, study abroad or have a minimum placement of 20 weeks. All these options would count instead of a full year. Anyway- I was lucky in securing a full 12 month placement for a very large, established company. Of course I was really happy and proud and excited to work. I started my placement 1 month ago (early July) so this in my 4th week and I HATE IT. From the first week I could tell I wasn’t enjoying myself. Immediately I got given a bunch of roles, responsibilities which was super overwhelming. My handover (the student I replaced) only had 10 days to teach me everything which was nowhere near enough and because my role is so specific and only 1 student does it (there should be 2 students in my opinion) my managers (I report to multiple because the company is so big) they can’t help me with everything specifically.

I found myself crying every single day for 4 weeks straight. Before, during and after work I was sobbing my eyes out refusing to go work (I work from home so it’s not as if I even need to leave my house). I thought it’s because the job is new, I don’t really know much and I’ve never had a full time 9-5 ‘professional’ job like this which is why I must feeling like this. Whilst some things got easier and the more I practiced, the more I understood/got quicker at things- they would introduce me to harder stuff and my brain would feel fried at the end of the day.
I spoke to uni who essentially told me to ‘stick it out’ and that it’s a really good opportunity and everyone cries and it will get better over time. I didn’t really feel better after speaking to uni so instead I actually contacted HR and spoke to them. They could tell I was really upset and they spoke to my main line manager who ‘reduced’ my workload for me and told me to ask questions and for help. Whilst I felt better, the next day- my workload increased again. My manager has been on holiday all this week and I really struggled without him. Everyone is really friendly and nice and keeps telling me to ask questions but when I do- I have to wait for a long time for an answer (due to working from home) and I just feel dumb when I ask questions. Speaking to uni wasn’t helpful at all they made me feel like if I dropped out of this course- I would be doomed and will suffer with a bland CV.
The idea of being at this placement for 11 more months kills me inside and I don’t see the job getting better or me enjoying it. The hours are also really long and I find myself opening my laptop on my weekend to do the work because there’s so much of it.
I want to leave and find something else. Or I’m happy doing a 6 month placement but uni didn’t make me feel like that was an option. They made it seem like placement is just something everyone has to go with. They normalised feeling ‘sad’ and ‘hopeless’ which is something I don’t want to feel because I won’t make it to the end. I value my feelings and mental health more than some stupid placement. I’m happy to work in retail for the rest of the year. Whilst I know that’s not ideal and won’t make me stand out- it’s still an option.

I’m not sure exactly what I’m asking because I feel like my mind is made up. I want to wait 2 more weeks in case i feel any different but then after 6 weeks I want to hand in my resignation and look elsewhere. I know if I do that, I won’t be able to put this on my cv and the search will begin again with no guarantee I’ll find anything- but I also don’t want to leave and regret my decision. Do you think I’ll regret my decision if I leave? Is my mental health more important than looking good on my CV? Is this just something I need to ‘ride out’. Also time goes really really really slow. It doesn’t fly by at all so I doubt 11 months will go quick. The work is very admin-based and I can’t believe they give so much responsibility to a student who is only here for a year.
I'd deffo start look for placements elsewhere.
Give yourself a bit more time there, just to see if it does improve. And if you find another placement, I'd go for it.
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