The Student Room Group

First date gift?

Hi,

long story short i'm going on a date next week with a girl i have known around 5 years now and we have been talking all the way through COVID so pretty much everyday so its safe to say we know each other quite well, however she's only dated one person before who never treated her right and he literally took her for a subway for a 'date' so she's new to dating in a way so i'm unsure what to take as a gift? its hard because some tell me to take flowers or find out what drinks she likes and others tell me to not take any gift.

I get why some say flowers is too much but i also feel like pulling up outside her home and getting the car door for her and giving her nothing will look bad on me? i'm going to assume her parents will be looking out the window at me too lol.
kiss kiss fall in love
Reply 2
To be honest i wouldnt see gift giving as a requirement, or something asll that common, on a first date. Sure, if you're dating then get them something but if this is just a first date then usually the dinner (or whatever has been chosen) is enough. Then again flowers usually go down well but spending a butt load of money on jewelry or some such would be serious over kill imo.
Flowers seem like too much for a first date, but depends on the kind of girl she is
Maybe try getting her a pendent chain necklace thing - its not as much of a overkill as fancy jewellery but still something cute to remember the occasion by. The pendent part could be anything from a little heart, or a star/moon if she's into that kind of stuff, or a little flower, or a cute little animal which she likes, something thoughtful
Reply 4
I have known her for an awful while though and we've talked about basically everything under the sun so i don't think anything could be awkward for us, why is dating so hard lol, i'm tempted to just get her some flowers but same time feel its a little idk cringe maybe? think i'll stick to just opening the car door for her instead.
Original post by Anonymous
I have known her for an awful while though and we've talked about basically everything under the sun so i don't think anything could be awkward for us, why is dating so hard lol, i'm tempted to just get her some flowers but same time feel its a little idk cringe maybe? think i'll stick to just opening the car door for her instead.

Flowers aren't cringe. Get her, her favourite flowers and she'd think its thoughtful of you. I mean you guys could talk about how nervous you were in picking out the perfect gifts, years/months down the lane and she's think its really cute how much thought you put into it. You seem like you know her pretty well, so trust your gutt
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

long story short i'm going on a date next week with a girl i have known around 5 years now and we have been talking all the way through COVID so pretty much everyday so its safe to say we know each other quite well, however she's only dated one person before who never treated her right and he literally took her for a subway for a 'date' so she's new to dating in a way so i'm unsure what to take as a gift? its hard because some tell me to take flowers or find out what drinks she likes and others tell me to not take any gift.

I get why some say flowers is too much but i also feel like pulling up outside her home and getting the car door for her and giving her nothing will look bad on me? i'm going to assume her parents will be looking out the window at me too lol.

Generally speaking i would avoid flowers because it seems OTT and normally one would not really know each other.

As you've been friends though a romantic gesture probably won't hurt although i'd go down the route of a single Tulip rather than a massive buquet and give her some complimemnt when you give it.
Reply 7
Just because you know each other doesn't mean dating each other will develop into anything, so a present is too much. Even more so if you've never bought her anything for more significant events like birthday or Christmas.

If you just take flowers to the house it delays everything because she'd have to put them in a vase before you set off, and you'd be standing there awkwardly.

If you gave them to her later, she's got the faff of carrying them and they'll wilt anyway.
(edited 2 years ago)
A gift would be weird. Don’t do it!
Whatever you do, do not give her any gift.

This doesn’t really make sense to do. If you did, it might become habitual; she will expect something from you, etc.

this is not a very good position to be in. She could easily take advantage of you this way.
(edited 2 years ago)
I'm not sure why people are saying not to. Flowers would be so sweet. Nothing too big though. It would be really cute.
Give her your full attention. If you think it isnt enough also give her a hug. If the date goes well maybe give her a kiss..?
Those are very romantic gifts 😊
The whole wooing with OTT gifts seems sweet and traditional but it's also a sham, as you would have to keep doing it or raise the bar each time to avoid disappointment. If you do get anything, it would be a 'reunion' sort of thing, and something modest but sweet like a bracelet or chocolates. Nobody gets first date presents, if you want her parents to like you, just wave up to them, be sincere. You can also offer to pay the bill and get her an extra dessert, that could be your 'gift'.

The flowers are sweet but corny for a first date since you don't know how it's gonna go. I'd save it for your first anniversary if it does go well.
You're going to be paying for her drinks presumably. That's a gift enough. Flowers might buy you a bit of favour but its not going to make to much difference to anything.
As a girl, the idea of getting her a little something sweet is super kind, she doesn't have to keep wanting gifts, its a very gentlemen thing to do and quite frankly there aren't many guys who end up being considerate and thoughtful and even this romantic. True don't overdo it with a huge bouquet and stuff, but a single flower of her favourite kind would make her feel better if you want to get her flowers. If you want to get her something else, small bracelet or a pendant or something sweet that she'll remember this date by.
I think the bouquet is a good gift for a first date. So when I was on a date, almost all men give bouquets of flowers. When I don't know what to give then I look for ideas on the Internet and various sites like https://blablagifts.com/ . It's cool that you want to do nice for a girl but don't rush. Maybe you want to give her a teddy bear is also a good idea for a first date
(edited 2 years ago)
Reply 16
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

long story short i'm going on a date next week with a girl i have known around 5 years now and we have been talking all the way through COVID so pretty much everyday so its safe to say we know each other quite well, however she's only dated one person before who never treated her right and he literally took her for a subway for a 'date' so she's new to dating in a way so i'm unsure what to take as a gift? its hard because some tell me to take flowers or find out what drinks she likes and others tell me to not take any gift.

I get why some say flowers is too much but i also feel like pulling up outside her home and getting the car door for her and giving her nothing will look bad on me? i'm going to assume her parents will be looking out the window at me too lol.


Don't buy her a gift on a first date, it comes across as a bribe. Gifts are what you give to long term partners.

Stop overthinking this: Take her out and do something fun. There's no need to overcomplicate things by frankly pointless displays of 'affection'.

Also, I recommend not speaking everyday by text.
Guessing your one of these who takes girls to KFC for a date then? unless going to a restaurant for a date is now classed as cringe idk what you're on about, personally i find it slightly cringe to take flowers on date but how do you win when some girls like it and some dont? meh i'll skip flowers then.
How old are you?

Personally, I think flowers are a sweet idea.

At the end of the day, everyone is gonna have different opinions about what you should/ shouldn't do.

Just do what you feel is right for your dynamic with her, and don't overthink or feel pressured to do something :smile:
(edited 2 years ago)
I'm in a similar situation. If you don't know them well just go with a safe option, she'll appreciate the gesture :smile:

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