On a scale of 1 - 10 how badly do you think I'm falling for my FWB

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Someone help me make sense of it. I thought I'd never fall for him but some days it hits harder than others. He was just supposed to be my rebound, I pushed away the idea of us dating when he brought it up but then now I'm way to annoyed and hurt by the idea of him going out with his friends (including his best guy friend who's evil to me, and his girl best friends who don't like me much either).

If someone wants to help me make sense of this, reply to this thread please, and I'll give more details. I'm just really confused right now, I'm thinkin about him way more than I should and he's basically too busy to care.
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CaptainDuckie
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#2
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#2
if you’re having to question your feelings, the chances are really high that you’ve caught them.

unlucky mate......
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Anonymous #1
#3
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
if you’re having to question your feelings, the chances are really high that you’ve caught them.

unlucky mate......
I mean he's told me that according to him he felt soo close to me that we would have dated if he stayed in school (he changed schools about a year after we got physical), and I just pushed away the thought saying that we're too different for it to have happened. But now, I'm just really pissed seeing a picture of him and those friends having fun, and I think I'm low key jealous or just missing having him around (It's been 2 years since we last met up in person)

I mean we did more romanticy stuff then most fwb would, and he's been asking me to find ways to meet up with him somehow if not to do stuff, just to hang out because he misses it too. But I've got super strict parents who don't like me talking with boys, and they're super protective over the COVID thing too, which means I won't be able to. And I'm moving away for uni and he's going to uni in a different country and we've talked about meeting up, but the next time we get to properly meet up without my parents knowing would be in another 3 years, and I wish I could see him in person again sooner.

He's been so busy with the uni stuff that he hasn't properly even messaged in 4 days, and I feel stupid for wishing he'd text.
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CaptainDuckie
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I mean he's told me that according to him he felt soo close to me that we would have dated if he stayed in school (he changed schools about a year after we got physical), and I just pushed away the thought saying that we're too different for it to have happened. But now, I'm just really pissed seeing a picture of him and those friends having fun, and I think I'm low key jealous or just missing having him around (It's been 2 years since we last met up in person)

I mean we did more romanticy stuff then most fwb would, and he's been asking me to find ways to meet up with him somehow if not to do stuff, just to hang out because he misses it too. But I've got super strict parents who don't like me talking with boys, and they're super protective over the COVID thing too, which means I won't be able to. And I'm moving away for uni and he's going to uni in a different country and we've talked about meeting up, but the next time we get to properly meet up without my parents knowing would be in another 3 years, and I wish I could see him in person again sooner.

He's been so busy with the uni stuff that he hasn't properly even messaged in 4 days, and I feel stupid for wishing he'd text.


you miss him being around and just the fact that he’s going away is what’s making you want him more.

you’ve definitely caught feelings. Tough, right?

now, even if you got in a relationship with him, would you be willing to commute countries?
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username5655466
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"On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your pain?"
- Baymax
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londonmyst
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#6
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Alas 7/10.
It sounds like you have moderately strong feelings for your fwb.
Feelings which are most likely to exacerbate unless you begin to pull away from both him and the fbw arrangement.

Many girls end up feeling heartbroken, angry, used or abandoned when their fwb arrangement ceases.
To avoid this try to gradually restrict physical contact with him and start chatting with other single guys.
That way you are much less likely to feel dependent on one guy for the option of either a casual sex arrangement or much of your social life.
Good luck!
Last edited by londonmyst; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
#7
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(Original post by Justaboutalive)
"On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your pain?"
- Baymax
A 10, everythings going wrong in my life and I'm trying to hold on to pieces, but its all falling apart
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
you miss him being around and just the fact that he’s going away is what’s making you want him more.

you’ve definitely caught feelings. Tough, right?

now, even if you got in a relationship with him, would you be willing to commute countries?
I miss him being around true, but he's been gone for 2 years, I've dated another dude since then but this guys always been around pretty much almost always. (Almost since the guy I dated hated this dude and made me block him, but since that guy and I broke up, I unblocked this dude again and we picked up where we left off from and he wasn't pissed at all).

I miss being able to be with him, just hug or cuddle, or have our alone time.
But I don't wanna catch feelings with this dude, it would never work out, his friends mostly hate me, or have used me in the past.
He pretends to be someone he's not around them, and he says he wouldn't mind what they say if we got together (from the last time he brought up idea of us), but it's not fair.

Commute countries bit wouldn't matter much. We're okay with keeping things digital. It's more of a friendship where we can talk stuff we wouldn't to others when we're horny, and get physical sometimes. He'd be in Canada and I'd be in the UK
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Alas 7/10.
It sounds like you have moderately strong feelings for your fwb.
Feelings which are most likely to exacerbate unless you begin to pull away from both him and the fbw arrangement.

Many girls end up feeling heartbroken, angry, used or abandoned when their fwb arrangement ceases.
To avoid this try to gradually restrict physical contact with him and start chatting with other single guys.
That way you are much less likely to feel dependent on one guy for the option of either a casual sex arrangement or much of your social life.
Good luck!
That's not bad right, like its a I can get out of this kinda feelings level?
But that's the thing, we have dirty talked like twice in the last 3 months, and the only pics he sent were one of him shirtless and the rest just normal selfies. We talked for an hour or two ish straight like less than 5 times in those 3 months, and just reply to each others random messages otherwise.

I've got waayy too much time on my hands right now, and can't stop checking for his messages or just checking if any of my friends are online, and then if I feel hrny i end up messagin him and then regretting it later because I feel needy and he's busy and wont reply for a few days most of the time.
We don't have physical contact, and I'm not sure how to just stop messaging him. Especially since I'm a bit hung out from my last relationship. Where do I find other single guys my age? I'm a bit paranoid to online dating, and with super strict parents there arent many options considering I'm done with school and I've got a month till uni starts.
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Anonymous #1
#10
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He messaged while I was ranting, and said that he's sorry he didn't reply earlier, that he clicked on my message when he was out with his friends (the ones who hate me/used me). Last time he messaged he was thinkin of birthday gifts to bring me if he came along, and making plans for how we could travel together if possible to uni, or find ways to sneak about and hang out.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I miss him being around true, but he's been gone for 2 years, I've dated another dude since then but this guys always been around pretty much almost always. (Almost since the guy I dated hated this dude and made me block him, but since that guy and I broke up, I unblocked this dude again and we picked up where we left off from and he wasn't pissed at all).

I miss being able to be with him, just hug or cuddle, or have our alone time.
But I don't wanna catch feelings with this dude, it would never work out, his friends mostly hate me, or have used me in the past.
He pretends to be someone he's not around them, and he says he wouldn't mind what they say if we got together (from the last time he brought up idea of us), but it's not fair.

Commute countries bit wouldn't matter much. We're okay with keeping things digital. It's more of a friendship where we can talk stuff we wouldn't to others when we're horny, and get physical sometimes. He'd be in Canada and I'd be in the UK

Okay. That’s alright, hopefully him going will make you lose the bond with him that you otherwise would have gotten if he was in the UK, since he’d always do stuff that made you catch feelings for him.

I see no issues here. If you want to continue the FWB however, feel free to be commuting countries.

I do feel like it might not be able to work out though since you’re both going to be in a highly social settings so might be more distractions. Have a think through that.
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Anonymous #1
#12
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
Okay. That’s alright, hopefully him going will make you lose the bond with him that you otherwise would have gotten if he was in the UK, since he’d always do stuff that made you catch feelings for him.

I see no issues here. If you want to continue the FWB however, feel free to be commuting countries.

I do feel like it might not be able to work out though since you’re both going to be in a highly social settings so might be more distractions. Have a think through that.
But we're still on texting basis, and I don't know, this feelings stuff came up because of the way we've been texting lately.
He's NOT a romantic and I am, I'm super committed in relationships and he's more casual about them, which is why I knew I'd never fall for him.
But now, he's calling me baby, and he's talking about how he'd feel soo close to me, away from the drama, and how he's been thinking about how I'd lay my head on his chest and we'd just sit alone for hours, and how he misses that.
And then makes plans for when we do meet up, and cuddles and drinking wine together and watching rom coms and tv shows we've got a list of, just him and I. And he seems soo thoughtful and I don't like it, because I get comfortable and then he leaves and is busy for days.

Yea uni is a very social place, and we might just drift apart, I just don't know how to stop texting him or replying and just cut it out right now. Because I feel lonely honestly, I've just learnt that 1 of my 2 best friends is fake, and that the guy I wanted to marry (even though I've got crazy commitment issues) left me and won't talk to me right now. It's just overwhelming and I feel like I'm just focussing too much on him and I don't know how to make it stop.
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