I'm feeling used and hurt

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Alaska_Bear_25
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There was this guy in my school, and he's super cute and hot and tall and all the girls were into him and I wasn't. I used to flirt with his best friend casually and this guy knew about it too. Me and his best friend stopped talking (slowly drifted apart for a while) and then this guy started low key hitting on me. He'd ask me if I wanted to sit with him alone during lunch, and used to make excuses to sit really close to me, ask me about my perfect guy and about how he thinks I'm really pretty.

I thought he was into me, and I started very low key flirting back. Then one day, another girl who was a distant friend of mine, tells me that they've been dating for a while now and he tells her everything and I felt soo bad about it because I didn't know they were dating and he never told me and I apologized and she forgave me but I felt terrible, and didn't talk with him for a few months.

Then one day I was super sad about something, and I was standing alone, he noticed me and stood super close and asked me what was wrong, and then pinky promised to not tell anyone and I trusted him and told him that this girl (who's got a history of bullying me) was being rude and it su*ks, and then he told me not to worry nd it will be okay and stuff. And then when I'm walking home I overhear him telling this exact same girl what I said to him and making fun of the fact that it hurt me.
I got pissed and didn't talk to him for a few more months.

He later starts sitting with me again, and tells me how that girl and he broke up and I still keep my distance because of the last two times. He hits on me a year after the first incident even though he knew I had a boyfriend and my bf used to have to tell this guy to leave me alone, which he did for a while. Then when my bf and I breakup, we were going thro a really rough time, and I was heartbroken this guy talks to me again, and we end up flirting, and I regret it soo much looking back but in that moment it kept my mind off the guy I loved which hurt too much. This guy made me promise never to tell anyone about the flirting, and then swore he'd delete the chats, and I did too. My bf and I get back together and this dude keeps hitting one me every now and then (they both took it as a competition to see who could win me over), but I kept my distance.

My bf and I couldnt speak for 3 months because of strict parents, and then he was missing me, and this dude messages him and tells him **** about me, and how I'd cheat on him and leave him, and then sent him all the screenshots of the things I said. I already told my bf about this incident with this dude, but seeing the screenshots really hurt him and he broke up with me over it. Now I'm pissed with this guy for ruining the one good thing I had going on in my life, and I miss my bf

My rebound guy/close friend who I used to flirt with knows about the bf breaking up with me and the issue of screenshots but then he doesnt know that its his best friend who did it. (This is the same guy I said who became distant, we got close again lately). Now Idk whether to tell him about it, and how it bothers me, because its his best friend.

It just seems very complicated and hurts so bad.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Alaska_Bear_25)
There was this guy in my school, and he's super cute and hot and tall and all the girls were into him and I wasn't. I used to flirt with his best friend casually and this guy knew about it too. Me and his best friend stopped talking (slowly drifted apart for a while) and then this guy started low key hitting on me. He'd ask me if I wanted to sit with him alone during lunch, and used to make excuses to sit really close to me, ask me about my perfect guy and about how he thinks I'm really pretty.

I thought he was into me, and I started very low key flirting back. Then one day, another girl who was a distant friend of mine, tells me that they've been dating for a while now and he tells her everything and I felt soo bad about it because I didn't know they were dating and he never told me and I apologized and she forgave me but I felt terrible, and didn't talk with him for a few months.

Then one day I was super sad about something, and I was standing alone, he noticed me and stood super close and asked me what was wrong, and then pinky promised to not tell anyone and I trusted him and told him that this girl (who's got a history of bullying me) was being rude and it su*ks, and then he told me not to worry nd it will be okay and stuff. And then when I'm walking home I overhear him telling this exact same girl what I said to him and making fun of the fact that it hurt me.
I got pissed and didn't talk to him for a few more months.

He later starts sitting with me again, and tells me how that girl and he broke up and I still keep my distance because of the last two times. He hits on me a year after the first incident even though he knew I had a boyfriend and my bf used to have to tell this guy to leave me alone, which he did for a while. Then when my bf and I breakup, we were going thro a really rough time, and I was heartbroken this guy talks to me again, and we end up flirting, and I regret it soo much looking back but in that moment it kept my mind off the guy I loved which hurt too much. This guy made me promise never to tell anyone about the flirting, and then swore he'd delete the chats, and I did too. My bf and I get back together and this dude keeps hitting one me every now and then (they both took it as a competition to see who could win me over), but I kept my distance.

My bf and I couldnt speak for 3 months because of strict parents, and then he was missing me, and this dude messages him and tells him **** about me, and how I'd cheat on him and leave him, and then sent him all the screenshots of the things I said. I already told my bf about this incident with this dude, but seeing the screenshots really hurt him and he broke up with me over it. Now I'm pissed with this guy for ruining the one good thing I had going on in my life, and I miss my bf

My rebound guy/close friend who I used to flirt with knows about the bf breaking up with me and the issue of screenshots but then he doesnt know that its his best friend who did it. (This is the same guy I said who became distant, we got close again lately). Now Idk whether to tell him about it, and how it bothers me, because its his best friend.

It just seems very complicated and hurts so bad.
That's quite the predicament. The guy that keeps hitting on you is a huge jerk, completely ignore him/ cut him out. What did you say in those screenshots? Was it just you being emotional, or were you over your bf and totally into the guy you were texting? If you were, and your bf saw that it was more meaningful than you said when you told him about it, then breaking up makes sense. Ask him to talk to you about it and express how he feels, and be understanding. It's sticky, because you had broken up, but if your aim was always your bf, flirting with the other guy sends mixed messages. How old are you?
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Anonymous #2
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He sounds toxic af, cut him out of your life. It's always best to be honest in my opinion. But if it's gonna cause even more problems i'd just leave the whole group tbh it's not worth the drama cause of one troublemaker
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righteousx
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Sounds like a difficult situation.

The 'tall' guy seems like a jerk when he called your bf and sent him those messages of your communication. You should apologise to your boyfriend and explain everything. Tell him that 'tall jerk' was into you and he wanted you but you don't want him back and that there was nothing going on between you.
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Alaska_Bear_25
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's quite the predicament. The guy that keeps hitting on you is a huge jerk, completely ignore him/ cut him out. What did you say in those screenshots? Was it just you being emotional, or were you over your bf and totally into the guy you were texting? If you were, and your bf saw that it was more meaningful than you said when you told him about it, then breaking up makes sense. Ask him to talk to you about it and express how he feels, and be understanding. It's sticky, because you had broken up, but if your aim was always your bf, flirting with the other guy sends mixed messages. How old are you?
I just feel so sad and hurt right now.

I talk with the dude I used to flirt with but I'm scared his best friend will say something and I'd loose him. I'm tired of loosing people I care about right now, I can't do this hurt. I've ignored him, I don't talk to him anymore and I haven't in nearly 5 months but its like that stupid mistake I made of flirting with him keeps coming back and it's ruining things for me.

At that time when tall guy and I talked, we flirted sometimes (dirty talk), sometimes I just cut him off when he tried flirting and I whinned about my bf guy (we weren't dating at that time, he broke up with me, it was a complicated mess), and other times he'd tell me how he wishes he could take me out for a cup of hot chocolate and cuddle till I feel better. But he only sent the dirty messages which I sent to my bf. My bf he's insecure about our relationship, he's always been a little worried about me leaving him and i don't mind, i've loved him anyways with all my heart, he's my first real love, not my first boyfriend but that one person who I really thought was the one, and I still do sometimes. And seeing me flirt with some guy who he hates even if we weren't together at that time really hurt him because it made it seem like all his insecurities were true.

After the breakup I talked to my bf and I told him about it and how I felt and how it actually was and what went on in my head, I was understanding about it because I understood how much it hurt him. He told me about how when he first saw those texts it really hurt but he knew what was in my head and how I already told him about it, but then this tall dude kept telling him about all the things I wanted to do to him (dirty) and how I wanted him to do those things to me too, and it was too much for my guy, he ended up going back to drinking a lot (he promised me he wouldnt anymore because it used to scare me and hurt me seeing my bf drink and hurt himself, i was worried about his well being and i basically couldnt think of not being with him or loosing him) and he drank so much he ended up puking blood and he'd stay up all night just missing me, and I couldn't talk to him through this entire period. I explained to him and he said that he's over it now, and he's been hurt before so it's fine, but I never wanted to hurt him, I gave him my everything, and I've always been there for him. But he says he can't be in a relationship now, and wouldn't mind just friends but I can't do that, it's too hard when we've got so much history. He says he still cares for me, and that if I ever needed anything, he'd be there for me, but now he won't reply to my messages and I feel like such a stupid person for trusting that tall dude over and over again, because he ruinned something that was so perfect and meant so much to me.
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Alaska_Bear_25
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He sounds toxic af, cut him out of your life. It's always best to be honest in my opinion. But if it's gonna cause even more problems i'd just leave the whole group tbh it's not worth the drama cause of one troublemaker
I appreciate that, I just dont think I can cut every off because of it. I don't let many people in because of my trust issues, and these are some of my closest/longest friends right now.
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Alaska_Bear_25
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(Original post by righteousx)
Sounds like a difficult situation.

The 'tall' guy seems like a jerk when he called your bf and sent him those messages of your communication. You should apologise to your boyfriend and explain everything. Tell him that 'tall jerk' was into you and he wanted you but you don't want him back and that there was nothing going on between you.
He has been a jerk to me since we've met, I just keep trusting him and I'm not sure why. When he sent those messages, he didn't send it all, just the bits that make me look bad, that with what he said about me, made me seem like such a slutty person, and it hurt so much, because my bf he'd see me with these perfect eyes, he knew my bad, he'd seen me at my worst but he still loved me as much as I loved him, and I've lost that now, and Idk how to take it. I did apologize to him over and over again, I spent the last few months trying everything from the truth and telling him how much he still means to me, to trying to limit contact and make him miss me again, but we keep going in circles.

I don't have contact with the tall jerk guy, and I've told him a bunch of times before, that I really do love my guy and I want nothing to do with him, but he's relentless in the way that he knows I don't want that, and he doesn't want to date me or serious commitment either but he still flirts in the most inappropriate way possible.
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Elize W
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I feel so bad reading this...
I dont know what to say... 😔
Just that i wish you to get better @Alaska_Bear_25
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Alaska_Bear_25
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(Original post by Elize W)
I feel so bad reading this...
I dont know what to say... 😔
Just that i wish you to get better @Alaska_Bear_25
I was talking with the guy who I used to flirt with again last night, we're still really good friends. And I was really sad about it all, and ended up opening myself up to him, about how life's been a mess and how I've been self harming and stuff, and he was really supportive, and told me I was beautiful even though I don't feel that way anymore, and I told him about the incident with his friend but I didn't tell him the name yet. I want him to understand. He knows the girls in his gang dont like he, he told me last night he doesn't know why, but he didn't care. He told me how they'd hate that he talked to me even more, but he couldn't stop because he loved talking to me.
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Elize W
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(Original post by Alaska_Bear_25)
I was talking with the guy who I used to flirt with again last night, we're still really good friends. And I was really sad about it all, and ended up opening myself up to him, about how life's been a mess and how I've been self harming and stuff, and he was really supportive, and told me I was beautiful even though I don't feel that way anymore, and I told him about the incident with his friend but I didn't tell him the name yet. I want him to understand. He knows the girls in his gang dont like he, he told me last night he doesn't know why, but he didn't care. He told me how they'd hate that he talked to me even more, but he couldn't stop because he loved talking to me.
If it is the same guy who treated you like a jerk and sabotaged your relationship you really need to stop...
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Alaska_Bear_25
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(Original post by Elize W)
If it is the same guy who treated you like a jerk and sabotaged your relationship you really need to stop...
Nope not that guy, his best friend, the one I was closer to and had known longer. (I told a bit about him in the start of my first message).
The tall jerk guy, I haven't talked to him for half a year ish now and I don't want to either. The only reason I still think about him and stuff is because the sweet guy I still talk to is best friends with him and they hang out and I see the pics and stuff
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