I need some serious advice?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
My girlfriend broke up with me because she felt the relationship was not going anywhere. She wanted more 'commitment' from me. So, something to lead towards an engagement, marriage type of thing.

Thing is, I'm not ready. Financially, mentally, career wise. Plus, I've never really seen anything good come out of a commitment like this. It's always been downhill after these types of commitments. She's landed an amazing opportunity straight after graduating and I'm still searching.

I don't understand what to do. I've spoken to her but she's not ready to stay with me until then. Is there any point me trying to get us back together or should I leave her alone?
0
reply
emily332332
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
Personally I see it this way. If she isn't respecting that you aren't ready for that kind of commitment then there isn't really any trust and understanding. And it would fall apart regardless. So just have the both of you go separate ways. And don't give up on commitment! My parents have been together nearly 20 years and haven't gotten married. So marriage isn't needed to have a happy relationship.
0
reply
Elize W
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
Leave her. Marriage should be a celebration of a couple with both members being not only ready for it but happy about it. I think what she does is a huge red flag and if she keeps this attitude there is no point in you trying to be with her. What does she need from marriage? That you are commited and dont do anything with other girls? Well i am pretty sure that is already the case
Last edited by Elize W; 1 month ago
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by emily332332)
Personally I see it this way. If she isn't respecting that you aren't ready for that kind of commitment then there isn't really any trust and understanding. And it would fall apart regardless. So just have the both of you go separate ways. And don't give up on commitment! My parents have been together nearly 20 years and haven't gotten married. So marriage isn't needed to have a happy relationship.
(Original post by Elize W)
Leave her. Marriage should be a celebration of a couple with both members being not only ready for it but happy about it. I think what she does is a huge red flag and if she keeps this attitude there is no point in you trying to be with her. What does she need from marriage? That you are commited and dont do anything with other girls? Well i am pretty sure that is already the case
Thank you for the advice guys. Even my guts telling me to let her go. I let her off for cheating at one point. And she's letting me go instantly over this. oh well.
0
reply
DrSocSciences
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
Lots of issues in there, all intertwined. Bottom line is: from where she’s standing, she’s planning her future and you’re still mapping out yours, so without alignment, there’s bound to be a certain level of disconnectedness. You do you at your pace: her lack of empathy in any case wouldn’t have sustained a positive and healthy relationship in the longer term. A lucky swerve for you, in my view.
2
reply
emily332332
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for the advice guys. Even my guts telling me to let her go. I let her off for cheating at one point. And she's letting me go instantly over this. oh well.
N e v e r let someone off for cheating! NEVER! If that person truly loved you, they wouldn't have done it in the first place. If she tries to come crawling back saying she doesn't need marriage and such. Just remind her that she never understood things from you point of view. And that she cheated on you in the past. And that she was the one in the wrong all along.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Feeling behind at school/college? What is the best thing your teachers could to help you catch up?

Extra compulsory independent learning activities (eg, homework tasks) (13)
6.47%
Run extra compulsory lessons or workshops (32)
15.92%
Focus on making the normal lesson time with them as high quality as possible (33)
16.42%
Focus on making the normal learning resources as high quality/accessible as possible (30)
14.93%
Provide extra optional activities, lessons and/or workshops (55)
27.36%
Assess students, decide who needs extra support and focus on these students (38)
18.91%

Watched Threads

View All