Saw scars on ex-gf's leg

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Anonymous #1
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So I broke up with my ex of 3 years about 2 months ago because I just wasn't in love with her anymore, but since we're still friends, we hang out in groups. She recently got completely wasted to the point that she was forgetting to adjust her skirt, so when she fell over I could see her self harm scars on her leg. They definitely weren't there when we were going out- I would've noticed. I'm pretty sure she's doing this as a result of our breakup, but I don't know if it's my place to talk to her about it as it might only make it worse.
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wiiparty
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other stuff might be going on in her life so the scars might not be because you broke up with her. don't directly ask her "why do u have those self harm scars". maybe you could just subtly check up on her? ask if she's ok or ask if things are ok at home
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Justvisited
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She recently got completely wasted
Maybe she self-harmed during such episodes?
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Alaska_Bear_25
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I broke up with my ex of 3 years about 2 months ago because I just wasn't in love with her anymore, but since we're still friends, we hang out in groups. She recently got completely wasted to the point that she was forgetting to adjust her skirt, so when she fell over I could see her self harm scars on her leg. They definitely weren't there when we were going out- I would've noticed. I'm pretty sure she's doing this as a result of our breakup, but I don't know if it's my place to talk to her about it as it might only make it worse.
It might not be nessasirliy because of your breakup, from the looks of it you still care about her even if its just as friends? Do you mind me asking why you guys broke up? Also talk to her, ask her how she's doing and let her know you are there to listen if there is anything she wants to talk about, and if she's comfortable she'll let you know, it won't make it worse. As a girl who's had her episodes of self harm, talk about it, it can feel like nobody would care sometimes and it's assuring to know that people who care about you do notice
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Alaska_Bear_25)
It might not be nessasirliy because of your breakup, from the looks of it you still care about her even if its just as friends? Do you mind me asking why you guys broke up? Also talk to her, ask her how she's doing and let her know you are there to listen if there is anything she wants to talk about, and if she's comfortable she'll let you know, it won't make it worse. As a girl who's had her episodes of self harm, talk about it, it can feel like nobody would care sometimes and it's assuring to know that people who care about you do notice
We broke up because I wasn't feeling it anymore, which I realise now makes it look like I didn't care about her, so I don't want her to get angry if I 'pretend to care'.
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64Lightbulbs
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don't point them out, maybe tell her she's been asking a little down and tell her you still care about her if she ever wants to talk.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I broke up with my ex of 3 years about 2 months ago because I just wasn't in love with her anymore, but since we're still friends, we hang out in groups. She recently got completely wasted to the point that she was forgetting to adjust her skirt, so when she fell over I could see her self harm scars on her leg. They definitely weren't there when we were going out- I would've noticed. I'm pretty sure she's doing this as a result of our breakup, but I don't know if it's my place to talk to her about it as it might only make it worse.
Woah run away from her mate
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Son of the Sea
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You’ve made this thread before.
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Anonymous #3
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Lol your ex sounds like me
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Alaska_Bear_25
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We broke up because I wasn't feeling it anymore, which I realise now makes it look like I didn't care about her, so I don't want her to get angry if I 'pretend to care'.
So you do care but not romantically anymore? that could be hard on her cause she might have invested effort and feelings into the relationship and i mean breakups are hard in general, if she does say you're pretending to care just tell her you are not, that she still means a lot to you and you care about her well being just not in a romantic sense anymore, but you want her to be okay and that you're still there for her, reassure her. It would take time but she'd trust you more than others since you were together before, and she might open up and tell you what's on her mind, don't rush her too much and think before you say something cause it might hit her differently. If she does get angry then know that it is probably coming from a place of hurt.

I last said something here a week ago, so anything new since then if you dont mind me asking? If you do wanna talk bout it, know that I'm here okay?
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xx_clove
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(Original post by Alaska_Bear_25)
So you do care but not romantically anymore? that could be hard on her cause she might have invested effort and feelings into the relationship and i mean breakups are hard in general, if she does say you're pretending to care just tell her you are not, that she still means a lot to you and you care about her well being just not in a romantic sense anymore, but you want her to be okay and that you're still there for her, reassure her. It would take time but she'd trust you more than others since you were together before, and she might open up and tell you what's on her mind, don't rush her too much and think before you say something cause it might hit her differently. If she does get angry then know that it is probably coming from a place of hurt.

I last said something here a week ago, so anything new since then if you dont mind me asking? If you do wanna talk bout it, know that I'm here okay?
^^ OP, having been the ex in this situation, this is good advice
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Alaska_Bear_25)
So you do care but not romantically anymore? that could be hard on her cause she might have invested effort and feelings into the relationship and i mean breakups are hard in general, if she does say you're pretending to care just tell her you are not, that she still means a lot to you and you care about her well being just not in a romantic sense anymore, but you want her to be okay and that you're still there for her, reassure her. It would take time but she'd trust you more than others since you were together before, and she might open up and tell you what's on her mind, don't rush her too much and think before you say something cause it might hit her differently. If she does get angry then know that it is probably coming from a place of hurt.

I last said something here a week ago, so anything new since then if you dont mind me asking? If you do wanna talk bout it, know that I'm here okay?
Thanks a lot for this advice, but I think she's decided she hates me since she's blocked me on everything, so I'll just leave her alone now.
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Woah run away from her mate
Really compassionate, nice. I hope you never suffer from mental health problems, and that women have the sense to run away from you.
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Alaska_Bear_25
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks a lot for this advice, but I think she's decided she hates me since she's blocked me on everything, so I'll just leave her alone now.
I'm so sorry to hear that, but just check if she unblocks you tbh, when i was goin thro a hard phase I did end up blocking my ex who was also a good friend just cause I still liked him and couldnt bear to talk to him cause it just made me sad and happy at the same time, but i could never block him for too long, so I'd end up unblocking him too. Just give her a weeks time and then try to reach out and let her know you still care as a friend and you're there for her and stuff. I got my fingers crossed for you!
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