The Student Room Group

A Glimmer of hope?

So after @Lucifer323 made a comment about me being in my 30s stuck on TSR on a saturday night .....I decided to take an after hours stroll.

I live a 15 minute walk from the town centre so it really is no biggy.
I could see lots of people enjoying the night out etc ...and lots of attractive girls about the place. In the back of my mind I was kinda hoping i'd get approached or something but tbh it was like I was invisible. I was even getting negative vibes off some girls I made eye contact with... and girls I checked out were not giving me great vibes either... they really didn't seem to even care.

after standing around for like an hour ... the only person who had approached me was a dude, and he just wanted to make general chit chat.

eventually I start to get cold, and started thinking of going home. Then I saw this girl who was really my type and thought **** it, just approach her. So I did.
but the initial reaction was not so great. I was borderline going to walk away after the bland lifeless replies she was giving but thought I'm here now ... I might as well work on my convo skills.
Then something strange started happening, within about 30 seconds she started to become attracted, I could see her get more and more attracted and she then said that she liked my voice. she then asked if i wanted her number and called herself from my phone.
I was pretty pleased with myself at this point but knowing how flaky girls can be ... I wanted more!
Yes we had only been talking two minutes... but playing things safe is often the most unsafe thing you can do when it comes to girls. Statistically I'm never going to see this girl again .. so I point blank asked her for a kiss. At first she looked like she didn't want to do it..., then for some reason she came round and we started making out....

after the kiss she seemed to kinda lose interest though. she even started borderline hitting on another guy who came past and gave her a bottle. the convo after was awkward as well. I am not convinced she is going be receptive to my call...

should I even bother contacting her?

note, this is the first time i have cold approached and actually got a makeout from it. the times i'd made out with girls before it was them who approached me....

this woman looked about 24.... so significant age gap... although most likely she didn't notice it
(edited 2 years ago)

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Really? After two minutes she made out with you? A stranger? Whilst there’s a pandemic?
Hmm that’s interesting but if you like her, just bite the bullet and go for it, what have you got to lose?
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Really? After two minutes she made out with you? A stranger? Whilst there’s a pandemic?
Hmm that’s interesting but if you like her, just bite the bullet and go for it, what have you got to lose?


yep it was literally under 2 minutes.
although I'm not too concerned about Covid as i've already had it last month.

but yes, you're right I should probably just go for it ...even though all the signs pointing towards a flake right now
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by ANM775
yep it was literally under 2 minutes.
although I'm not too concerned about Covid as i've already had it last month.

but yes, you're right I should probably just go for it ...even though all the signs pointing towards a flake right now

Yep just go for it, you’ll probably ponder over it if you don’t and you never know what may happen, I mean did you expect to make out with her in under two minutes? Probably not, so you might be surprised because you never know what will happen.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
Yep just go for it, you’ll probably ponder over it if you don’t and you never know what may happen, I mean did you expect to make out with her in under two minutes? Probably not, so you might be surprised because you never know what will happen.


yeah tbh I was just hoping for the number...., and as i was getting no women checking me out or showing unsolicited interest that night and bad vibes when making eye contact with some girls I did think I'd get rejected here too ....but i really wanted to do at least 1 approach that night so i broke through the approach anxiety and did it.

with that approach, I think had I had approached her in the daytime when she was walking through the shopping centre like on a lot of these daygame videos it would have gone nowhere...., as initially she did not have a great reaction to me, and a girl having a reaction like that is likely to just make excuses and try to continue walking in the daytime. I think the fact it was at night, with a saturday night vibe ...and she was stationary made her more receptive to the idea of being chatted up..

I need to go out at this time more often lol...
(edited 2 years ago)
With hindsight you should have asked her what she was doing right then. And then asked for a low key instant date. Even if it was just grabbing a burger from a burger van.

For the first kiss with her, did you pull away first?

You are a better man than me if you can get anywhere near right to guessing a woman's age. Especially when they are on a night out.

The negative vibes that women give off. It's just a defense mechanism. Plus they don't want to appear slutty in front of their friends. Make contact in a socially calibrated way, where you nevertheless show intent and you should do fine.

And yes, go ahead and follow up the contact. Act as if you're talking to an old friend and have the aim of getting her on a low key date. It could be that even though she's your physical type, you may be poles apart in other areas. Or it could be that you are her next boyfriend.
Original post by ANM775
yeah tbh I was just hoping for the number...., and as i was getting no women checking me out or showing unsolicited interest that night and bad vibes when making eye contact with some girls I did think I'd get rejected here too ....but i really wanted to do at least 1 approach that night so i broke through the approach anxiety and did it.

with that approach, I think had I had approached her in the daytime when she was walking through the shopping centre like on a lot of these daygame videos it would have nowhere...., as initially she did not have a great reaction to me, and a girl having a reaction like that is likely to just make excuses and try to continue walking in the daytime. I think the fact it was at night, with a saturday night vibe ...and she was stationary made her more receptive to the idea of being chatted up..

I need to go out at this time more often lol...

Well now you know, Saturday nights..
Good luck
Reply 7
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
With hindsight you should have asked her what she was doing right then. And then asked for a low key instant date. Even if it was just grabbing a burger from a burger van.

For the first kiss with her, did you pull away first?

You are a better man than me if you can get anywhere near right to guessing a woman's age. Especially when they are on a night out.

The negative vibes that women give off. It's just a defense mechanism. Plus they don't want to appear slutty in front of their friends. Make contact in a socially calibrated way, where you nevertheless show intent and you should do fine.

And yes, go ahead and follow up the contact. Act as if you're talking to an old friend and have the aim of getting her on a low key date. It could be that even though she's your physical type, you may be poles apart in other areas. Or it could be that you are her next boyfriend.


They was waiting for a taxi when I approached and her friend was on the phone..

I'm not sure who pulled away from this kiss first.
Yeah she looked about 24, although this is not confirmed. I'm not bad at guessing women's age... although i'm probably a little rusty when it comes to guessing under 18s age I think.

The negative eye contact I got from other women that night was more them immediately looking over my head after we made eye contact and not looking back. it is a textbook bad sign....

happened 2 or 3 times that night.


yeah, I shall send her a text tomorrow ...although I do doubt she'll text back...

but the way, initially she wasn't keen when i approached... then after 30 seconds got keen ....and soon started asking if i want her number i'm not sure what to make of that? that's literally the first evidence i've ever seen (when it comes to myself) that perhaps personality has played a role, because usually if they are not keen at that the start it's OVER .. there's no coming back from it.

and the girls at work who currently seem attracted, it's mostly been off looks... because we've barely spoken.
(edited 2 years ago)
I think you should make a thread called “The Adventures of ANM” and update us with your worldly experiences regularly. It would go down a storm.
Whoa, I thought dating is easier for the female sex.
Reply 10
Original post by SlaveofAll
Whoa, I thought dating is easier for the female sex.


It is.

Had I been a female standing there for that long i'd surely have got approached by multiple members of the opposite sex.

I think I was just very lucky last night.
In the past when i've approached I've not done as well..
Original post by ANM775
It is.

Had I been a female standing there for that long i'd surely have got approached by multiple members of the opposite sex.

I think I was just very lucky last night.
In the past when i've approached I've not done as well..

I also thought you're female, silly me.
Reply 12
Original post by SlaveofAll
I also thought you're female, silly me.



https://tinyurl.com/42nfpmeb
Original post by ANM775
So after @Lucifer323 made a comment about me being in my 30s stuck on TSR on a saturday night .....I decided to take an after hours stroll.

I live a 15 minute walk from the town centre so it really is no biggy.
I could see lots of people enjoying the night out etc ...and lots of attractive girls about the place. In the back of my mind I was kinda hoping i'd get approached or something but tbh it was like I was invisible. I was even getting negative vibes off some girls I made eye contact with... and girls I checked out were not giving me great vibes either... they really didn't seem to even care.

after standing around for like an hour ... the only person who had approached me was a dude, and he just wanted to make general chit chat.

eventually I start to get cold, and started thinking of going home. Then I saw this girl who was really my type and thought **** it, just approach her. So I did.
but the initial reaction was not so great. I was borderline going to walk away after the bland lifeless replies she was giving but thought I'm here now ... I might as well work on my convo skills.
Then something strange started happening, within about 30 seconds she started to become attracted, I could see her get more and more attracted and she then said that she liked my voice. she then asked if i wanted her number and called herself from my phone.
I was pretty pleased with myself at this point but knowing how flaky girls can be ... I wanted more!
Yes we had only been talking two minutes... but playing things safe is often the most unsafe thing you can do when it comes to girls. Statistically I'm never going to see this girl again .. so I point blank asked her for a kiss. At first she looked like she didn't want to do it..., then for some reason she came round and we started making out....

after the kiss she seemed to kinda lose interest though. she even started borderline hitting on another guy who came past and gave her a bottle. the convo after was awkward as well. I am not convinced she is going be receptive to my call...

should I even bother contacting her?

note, this is the first time i have cold approached approached and actually got a makeout from it. the times i'd made out with girls before it was them who approached me....

this woman looked about 24.... so significant age gap... although most likely she didn't notice it

Good afternoon my dear friend!

May I add that I did encourage you to go out and to make yourself more available.
It does work well and all you have to do is to go out and socialise as much as you can.

Friday nights, Saturdays nights, and Sunday afternoons are usually the best times during the week where you can meet up with others either in a bar/nightclub or a restaurant for example.
I feel like she’s one of them girls that is attracted to everyone and will hit on anything that walks.

As for contacting her, I say you should if you’re looking for fun. As for proper relationship, I don’t think I’d bother.

Also, how do you know that she wasn’t drunk?
(edited 2 years ago)
Reply 15
Original post by CaptainDuckie
I feel like she’s one of them girls that is attracted to everyone and will hit on anything that walks.

As for contacting her, I say you should if you’re looking for fun. As for proper relationship, I don’t think I’d bother.

Also, how do you know that she wasn’t drunk?


she was not slurring her words or staggering or anything so i don't think she was drunk
Original post by ANM775
she was not slurring her words or staggering or anything so i don't think she was drunk



hm... right.

fair enough. Still stand by all what I said though.
The fact yall still posting on TSR about these things is exactly why you shouldn’t hit her up 😭
Reply 18
nope, she didn't reply to my text.

women are very fickle. the girl literally asked me if i wanted her number and typed her number into my phone she did.
i'm glad i didn't stop at the number and at least got a makeout out of it.

it's very easy to get fixated on numbers, but it's just a number at the end of the day. if the girl is digging you it's better to strike whilst the iron is hot ...and at least walk away with "something" for your troubles.
(edited 2 years ago)
I think getting out the house is great and it's good to go out where there's other people but I'd be suspicious of talking to a stranger without good reason. Perhaps better to stay inside and worry about something else instead of hanging around dark places at night on you're own.

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