Would you ask your children to help pay rent/bills?

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Anonymous #1
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So i was having a discussion with my friends about parents asking their kids to help pay the rent. I told her how i think it’s ok for parents to ask their working kids for money if they struggle to pay household bills alone. She disagreed. She said she would never ask her kids for money even if she was struggling.
Ive grown up in a house where i saw my mum working long hours but still worrying about she was going to pay the bills and rent. Now that i work FT and so do my siblings, this is a huge burden off my mum and she doesnt have to worry about bills anymore, we all contribute.
What do you guys think?
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ROTL94
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No.
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CoochieMan
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If I was a parent I wouldn't ask my kids for money but as a daughter, I do financially support my parents when things get tough without them telling me to do so.
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Mesopotamian.
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I contribute to my household and I don’t see anything inherently wrong with that because I am actively benefitting from living in said household, so why should I not bear some of its responsibility given that I am now a working adult?

Some take the the view that parents should be providing everything and the child shouldn’t have to contribute anything because “it’s the parents responsibility”. Whilst I understand where this point of view stems from, I think once the child crosses a certain age (e.g. 18, the age of adulthood), if they are comfortably able to contribute to the household then they should consider doing so to help support their parents (if the parents need/want support). I can’t really see an argument where you can justify contributing to household bills and rents with random strangers in a flat share for example, but refuse to do so when living (in the same circumstances) with parents simply for the sake of it.
Last edited by Mesopotamian.; 1 month ago
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randomsheep11
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Imo, only if the child in question is an adult and is a full time worker (so not a student). But then it also has to be agreed by both parties...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CoochieMan)
If I was a parent I wouldn't ask my kids for money but as a daughter, I do financially support my parents when things get tough without them telling me to do so.
Ok but what if you were struggling to pay the bills alone. Im wondering if you would ask then?
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CoochieMan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok but what if you were struggling to pay the bills alone. Im wondering if you would ask then?
Nope
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StriderHort
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Yes, assuming we're talking about NEEDING the extra, rather than wanting it. I'd be expecting a working kid to contribute to an extent anyway just get the lessons into them.
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lara147
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I would never ask my kids for money for rent. I’m the parent even if they work FT they can save up or use that money however they want
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Anonymous #1
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I personally wouldnt ask my children to pay rent if i could afford to pay it all by myself. I’m just surprised that my friend said she would not ask for help even if she was struggling? What does she gain from that? I’ve been helping my parents with bills since i was 18 (only as much i could afford) and it has really taught me to be smart with my money and appreciate all the struggles my parents went through to give us a good life.
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Moonlight Rain
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I would if my mum and were struggling for money and I actually got along with them.
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cherlloydfan1
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I wouldn't but my mum used to get me to give her a quarter of my wages cos she said that she couldn't afford to keep me but she could. And now that I'm living with my dad he's expecting me to give him money when I start working even though he doesn't need my money either
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londonmyst
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No.
I would never ask any of my descendants for their money.
Nor charge them rent or housekeeping to live with me.

I don't agree with any parents charging their teenagers and adult children rent to live in their childhood bedroom or asking them for housekeeping/loans/cash.
Of course, if the household are experiencing financial problems and a young person has a stable monthly income and is financially able & willing to help out without the risk of financial hardship- that's fine.
But only as far as paying for their own shopping or transferring the bills into their own name for some utilities/extra services that they alone use.
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Little pecker
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Lmao no
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volka
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Yes. I would, however, give it back to them when they were buying their own house.
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PinkMobilePhone
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Rent yes, but only so I could put it into a savings account for them to use as a deposit towards their own house. I am completely against them renting for the rest of their lives, but I know for a fact that at least one of my children is horrible at saving (money burns a hole in his pocket!) so I'm not against taking matters into my own hands to ensure they end up with their own property.

Contribution to household bills... it depends. If I could afford not to charge them, then no. I'd prefer not to. If I was struggling to pay bills though, then yes, but just enough to cover essentials.
Last edited by PinkMobilePhone; 1 month ago
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cchloepx
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No, I think that’s selfish and unfair.

In the future, I’d prefer for my child to be able to go through school without a job so they can focus on what’s important to them. or if academia isn’t quite their thing, I’d support them to either find a hobby they like or a part time job so they can save money.

If they went to uni I’d want to support them so they’d have the best experience possible and do their absolute best without having to worry about working to afford accommodation and such. If they chose not to go to uni and got a job or apprenticeship instead I’d rather they save all their earnings so that they can become more independent and afford to rent a flat or a house sooner. They could help around the house by doing chores and such rather than paying rent or bills. I don’t think that’s fair to put on your kid IMO.
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bones-mccoy
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If I could afford everything, then no, I wouldn't ask for a contribution.

I wouldn't want my child to work through school or college anyway as I'd want them to focus on their education and do as well as they can without the added pressure of a job. If they were older and living at home (and I wasn't struggling financially), I wouldn't expect them to pay the bills but I would expect them to pay for anything else - extra food they want, takeaways, clothes, toiletries, extras, running a car etc - themselves.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 1 month ago
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Kentinho99
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I wouldn't ask my children to help out when I become a parent. I know the struggle of helping my mum out money wise and money struggles and I don't want that life for my children so I'm going to make sure I'm financially stable before having a family. I'd get them to help out around the house and home but I would never bear my money troubles on my children.
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PinkMobilePhone
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It's kind of interesting to see how the youth of today have no concept of financial hardship. The reaction here is overwhelmingly "no, I'd not ask my children for money, I'd just support them."
The real world isn't always as clear cut as that.

So many families rely on Child Benefit and Child Tax Credits / Working Tax Credits in order to afford to buy food and pay bills (and yes, having children DOES increase your household bills - think how many extra showers are taken and how much more washing up is done with children in the house, thus increasing the water bills; think how many more electronic devices such as televisions and computers are plugged in with children in the house, thus increasing the electricity bills, and so on.)

Once children get older, and these benefits stop, it's unrealistic to think that parents are still just automatically going to be able to support adult children financially without any consequence. If they can, great, but it's certainly not selfish for parents to ask for a household contribution if they are struggling at that point.
Last edited by PinkMobilePhone; 1 month ago
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