I want to get my own place but can't afford to 😭

I'm in my late twenties and have been an introvert my whole life. I love my family but they don't get me, they understand I'm quiet so I don't talk to them just communicate through text. It just feels weird living with them. My mum and one sibling are close and are always together, I'm only included for family meals which I have alone in my room while my mum and sibling eat together, make plans to go out together etc. I would never fit in with them as they're both extroverts. I used to talk to them but they were always in my face and said some hurtful things so I decided it was best not to talk to them anymore, it's been a couple of years and things are better while we haven't been talking just texting. My other sibling pretends to be an introvert at home, they never speak but when they're not at home they are the total opposite, always socialising, seeing someone. They are rarely home and I don't fit in with them either. Both siblings are younger than me. My dad isn't in the picture and I never got along with him and don't care about him he was no good.

I've never had a boyfriend or any kind of relationship. No one is interested in me and I don't have any friends ( I have a few on Facebook but never talk to they have their own lives and have social anxiety. I also have no family I can stay with that understand me.

Anyway, I want to move out and get my own place somewhere safe preferably near my family but I can't afford to. I'm self employed with 2 jobs I enjoy but don't make enough money to support myself so I don't pay bills/rent etc. I just don't feel part of my family, I want to live on my own. I know I will never meet anyone to share my life with and I am ok with that. I'll be fine on my own with a few pets (which I can't get now due to landlord and financial situation) if I could get my own place and have some pets I'd be happy .

I've applied for employed work but can't seem to get an interview for anything even when applying for jobs that don't require experience and remote jobs but nothing. I graduated from a masters in September.

I feel like this will never happen, I will be stuck here for life and be unhappy. Plus if I do manage to get a job that pays well, how will I move out? My mum would never allow it. I'm from an Asian background and women can't live alone unless they're married or divorced/their partner died and have kids.

I don't know what to do except keep applying for jobs and hope I am successful soon or hope I meet someone eventually who would support me financially. I can't live like this for the rest of my life. I rarely go out unless it's to shop or run errands so there's no chance of meeting anyone. I used to go out more before covid like to college/uni and on my own I would visit parks and places in my city, shopping but since covid I only shop or run errands. Can't afford to go anywhere else atm.

I've joined a few online groups of things I like, like video games, introvert groups etc in hopes to meet someone, i try to comment on posts that I can relate to when I can and reply to comments but not really made tried online dating but guys are mostly looking for one thing or short term which I'm not interested in. Even tried Muslim dating apps with no luck- I can't even get past sign up process they won't approve my profile. I'm trying out discord now too. I'm not sure what else to try. I'm so fed up of my life, I'd hoped I'd have met someone by now. Other introverted women are in relationships or are married but not me.

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Anonymous #1

Plus I don't think my mum wants me to get married incase my husband turned out to be like my my dad buys she's open and I think she'd let me but I don't think have the guts to tell her I wanted to get married if I met someone by some miracle.

I want to get my own place but can't afford to 😭

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