How to trust again?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
What do I do if my bf never cheated on me but had another girl at his house chilling and eating. When I’m very uncomfortable with his relation with her. I feel very disrespected. He snd her both said it was innocent. She said he’s never even hugged or flirted. He also invited her out with the boys the next day I found this out through her not him. He then said because he was going to hook her up with one of his friends. We just got back into a relationship 4 days previous so he told her I was his ex. I’m speaking to him snd he wants to meet tonight to speak but I just have this nervous sensations in my stomach snd I feel very cold towards him.

He has alot of female friends so I don’t care but it’s the fact he knows I feel uncomfortable about this relation.
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Anonymous #1
#2
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My friends don’t like him anymore snd say he’s a huge red flag.

He knows how much he disrespected me by doing this and has taken accountability I just think he doesn’t want me to leave him because he hasn’t cheated.

Am I wrong to say this is cheating ?
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londonmyst
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#3
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Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
It seems like you don't trust you bf in the slightest and may have insecurity or jealousy issues towards other females that are friends with the guy that you are dating.
If so, best to move on and find another guy whose lifestyle & social circle will be more compatible with your preferences.

If you are very uncomfortable that your bf has female friends and genuinely feel disrespected at the fact that he spends some of his spare time with such friends- the relationship is likely to be unhappy and of limited duration.
Very high risk of a toxic relationship beset by frequent arguments, constant anger and insecurity.
Possibly with a double dose of paranoia and lots of negativity or jealousy towards this female friend.
Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
It seems like you don't trust you bf in the slightest and may have insecurity or jealousy issues towards other females that are friends with the guy that you are dating.
If so, best to move on and find another guy whose lifestyle & social circle will be more compatible with your preferences.

If you are very uncomfortable that your bf has female friends and genuinely feel disrespected at the fact that he spends some of his spare time with such friends- the relationship is likely to be unhappy and of limited duration.
Very high risk of a toxic relationship beset by frequent arguments, constant anger and insecurity.
Possibly with a double dose of paranoia and lots of negativity or jealousy towards this female friend.
Good luck!
My gut it telling me not to trust him. But I’ve been cheated on in every single relationship so I’m defo going to feel like this.

I just feel like because he didn’t cheat I don’t want to leave but then i feel disrespected. It’s been a. Week. We plan to meet today or tomorrow to speak. What do I even say I don’t know what to say.

Im fine with him having female friends but this is barely a friend. They don’t hang out or speak much unless they bump into eachorher in the neighbourhood
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GabiAbi84
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You have posted about this many times before if I’m not mistaken.
Only you know whether you can trust him or not (whether justified or not)
if you don’t trust him because of your own issues then the relationship will never last as he’s having to prove himself to you for absolutely no reason. Having a neighbour round isn’t suspicious behaviour. Lying about it because he know you’ll accuse him of cheating is also not suspicious at this point as you’ve done so many times. But it is a big sign that your relationship is not working.
If he IS cheating then the relationship isn’t working either.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
You have posted about this many times before if I’m not mistaken.
Only you know whether you can trust him or not (whether justified or not)
if you don’t trust him because of your own issues then the relationship will never last as he’s having to prove himself to you for absolutely no reason. Having a neighbour round isn’t suspicious behaviour. Lying about it because he know you’ll accuse him of cheating is also not suspicious at this point as you’ve done so many times. But it is a big sign that your relationship is not working.
If he IS cheating then the relationship isn’t working either.
You don’t think your partner having someone that is their type in their house. Eating with them and chilling for no reason is not suspicious? Then hiding it from you ? I came over 5 hours after she left he didn’t tell me anything about it.

Why do I have gut feelings?
Surely he should of respected my feelings to not do this behind my back????

I appreciate your advice btw❤️
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GabiAbi84
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You don’t think your partner having someone that is their type in their house. Eating with them and chilling for no reason is not suspicious? Then hiding it from you ? I came over 5 hours after she left he didn’t tell me anything about it.

Why do I have gut feelings?
Surely he should of respected my feelings to not do this behind my back????

I appreciate your advice btw❤️
I don’t think that him having someone over, eating and chilling for “no reason” is suspicious, no.
And you and he have argued about this neighbour before and like I said it seems like he is doing nothing wrong and “hiding it” because you would accuse him something he didn’t do due to your mistrust.
And if you can’t trust him then your relationship won’t work -doesn’t matter Why you can’t trust him.

I can’t say whether he’s cheating on you or not but you posted before about him saying hi to his neighbour (who happens to be female) and you not liking that…
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
I don’t think that him having someone over, eating and chilling for “no reason” is suspicious, no.
And you and he have argued about this neighbour before and like I said it seems like he is doing nothing wrong and “hiding it” because you would accuse him something he didn’t do due to your mistrust.
And if you can’t trust him then your relationship won’t work -doesn’t matter Why you can’t trust him.

I can’t say whether he’s cheating on you or not but you posted before about him saying hi to his neighbour (who happens to be female) and you not liking that…
Yes I get you. I want to work on things with him and let him know he can tell me things by working on my reactions. But I just have this gut feeling inside me making me feel sick and nervous. I don’t know why it’s there snd why it can’t get away. Maybe until I’ve solved things with him. I just feel like I hope she isn’t lying that they did something…
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
I don’t think that him having someone over, eating and chilling for “no reason” is suspicious, no.
And you and he have argued about this neighbour before and like I said it seems like he is doing nothing wrong and “hiding it” because you would accuse him something he didn’t do due to your mistrust.
And if you can’t trust him then your relationship won’t work -doesn’t matter Why you can’t trust him.

I can’t say whether he’s cheating on you or not but you posted before about him saying hi to his neighbour (who happens to be female) and you not liking that…
My friends told me it’s a huge red flag
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GabiAbi84
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My friends told me it’s a huge red flag
Then why are you asking on here.
Why do you think it’s weird to be friends with his neighbours?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
Then why are you asking on here.
Why do you think it’s weird to be friends with his neighbours?
Because that’s his type of woman.
I’m asking on here because sometimes my friends try to sabotage my relationships. Can I not ask on here too ? Clearly my friends opinions aren’t enough
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