Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
He's literally so annoying and I actually don't like him anymore. One day he will be really nice and care so much about my education and make plans for me. But this is also annoying cuz it feels like all he cares about is my education and not actually me. And it's annoying that he's basically taking control of what I do for the rest of the day by making plans.

And then as soon as I disagree with something he suggests, he becomes so angry. Like rn I'm revising for the UCAT and he was helping me with some QR questions I got wrong. And he said oh your mental maths is really bad. You're always using the calculator. But I know how to use the calculator quickly and it doesn't affect me that much. And then he told me to start learning times tables. Like I'm literally 17 rn and I don't want to be spending my time doing this when it's not going to be that useful to me either. There's a calculator literally given in the exam so I don't understand why knowing what 17*8 is going to do to help me pass this exam. So I said no I'm not going to do that, I have limited time left and I can be using it to do something more productive. He got so angry and left and screamed. And he said he's never going to help me again. And that there's no point in even talking to me. Now he's basically not talking to anyone in the family and is going to just stay in 1 room isolated from everyone. He does this like basically every 3/4 months. As soon as I say something he doesn't agree with, he stops talking to the whole family for like 2 months. He doesn't eat the food my mum makes and if someone tries to speak to him, he just ignores them. He can't go in the same room if someone else is also there. And then it gets too much at one point and all the drama comes out and its just really toxic.

I feel like he's putting more pressure on me than helping me and when he does help me with questions and stuff, its not really that helpful either. And now he's not going to talk to anyone for a few months and my UCAT is in a month. Obviously stress can affect this exam.

I don't know what to do like how do I just focus. Because I really don't want to be a puppet where my dad controls how I study. But him ignoring everything and being a toxic ***** is not helping either
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Mara1680
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
He's literally so annoying and I actually don't like him anymore. One day he will be really nice and care so much about my education and make plans for me. But this is also annoying cuz it feels like all he cares about is my education and not actually me. And it's annoying that he's basically taking control of what I do for the rest of the day by making plans.

And then as soon as I disagree with something he suggests, he becomes so angry. Like rn I'm revising for the UCAT and he was helping me with some QR questions I got wrong. And he said oh your mental maths is really bad. You're always using the calculator. But I know how to use the calculator quickly and it doesn't affect me that much. And then he told me to start learning times tables. Like I'm literally 17 rn and I don't want to be spending my time doing this when it's not going to be that useful to me either. There's a calculator literally given in the exam so I don't understand why knowing what 17*8 is going to do to help me pass this exam. So I said no I'm not going to do that, I have limited time left and I can be using it to do something more productive. He got so angry and left and screamed. And he said he's never going to help me again. And that there's no point in even talking to me. Now he's basically not talking to anyone in the family and is going to just stay in 1 room isolated from everyone. He does this like basically every 3/4 months. As soon as I say something he doesn't agree with, he stops talking to the whole family for like 2 months. He doesn't eat the food my mum makes and if someone tries to speak to him, he just ignores them. He can't go in the same room if someone else is also there. And then it gets too much at one point and all the drama comes out and its just really toxic.

I feel like he's putting more pressure on me than helping me and when he does help me with questions and stuff, its not really that helpful either. And now he's not going to talk to anyone for a few months and my UCAT is in a month. Obviously stress can affect this exam.

I don't know what to do like how do I just focus. Because I really don't want to be a puppet where my dad controls how I study. But him ignoring everything and being a toxic ***** is not helping either
Mental maths is really important. I don't know how good or bad you actually are, but as someone who had to tutor teens aged 14-19 who couldn't do simple multiplication up to 100, it can get extremely frustrating. Of course if you're lagging behind on the content, you should probably prioritise that instead.

But overall it seems to me like your dad has a massive ego and is projecting his own goals and problems onto you. Don't let anyone **** on you - especially your own family. If he wants to be petty, let him. Nothing you can do about it, and stress won't do you any good.

Unless your dad has sat the exam himself (since you didn't tell us his background) it's unlikely he knows what you should be revising and how better than you do.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by Mara1680)
Mental maths is really important. I don't know how good or bad you actually are, but as someone who had to tutor teens aged 14-19 who couldn't do simple multiplication up to 100, it can get extremely frustrating. Of course if you're lagging behind on the content, you should probably prioritise that instead.

But overall it seems to me like your dad has a massive ego and is projecting his own goals and problems onto you. Don't let anyone **** on you - especially your own family. If he wants to be petty, let him. Nothing you can do about it, and stress won't do you any good.

Unless your dad has sat the exam himself (since you didn't tell us his background) it's unlikely he knows what you should be revising and how better than you do.
i'm not even that bad. I have a 9 in maths and further maths and literally got 95% in my AS maths exam.

And no he hasn't sat the exam. He's not even a doctor. He's just obsessed with making study plans for me and gets angry if I disagree.

I just don't know how to not let it have an effect on me.
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Mara1680
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i'm not even that bad. I have a 9 in maths and further maths and literally got 95% in my AS maths exam.

And no he hasn't sat the exam. He's not even a doctor. He's just obsessed with making study plans for me and gets angry if I disagree.

I just don't know how to not let it have an effect on me.
Yeah that sounds like the issue isn't with you but him. If you were actually bad there's no way you'd get grades like that.

I mean, there's wanting what's best for your child and then there's obessesing to the point of being toxic. He probably thinks he knows better - hence he gets angry when you disagree. A lot of parents suffer from some omniscient being complex (half-joking, half-serious on that).

I think the best you can do is try to compromise. Obviously you know better what sort of revision you need so you should stick with that, but try to let him have som input. Maybe try to explain you're doing well and you've done research into what you need to know etc.

And if he's adamant about getting angry then there's nothing you can really do about it.
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urlocalinmate
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#5
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Basically the same here, all education, no support. He doesn't know what's coming.
Last edited by urlocalinmate; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by Mara1680)
Yeah that sounds like the issue isn't with you but him. If you were actually bad there's no way you'd get grades like that.

I mean, there's wanting what's best for your child and then there's obessesing to the point of being toxic. He probably thinks he knows better - hence he gets angry when you disagree. A lot of parents suffer from some omniscient being complex (half-joking, half-serious on that).

I think the best you can do is try to compromise. Obviously you know better what sort of revision you need so you should stick with that, but try to let him have som input. Maybe try to explain you're doing well and you've done research into what you need to know etc.

And if he's adamant about getting angry then there's nothing you can really do about it.
hmm thank you for the advice
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
(Original post by urlocalinmate)
Basically the same here, all education, no support. He doesn't know what's coming.
asian too?
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urlocalinmate
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
asian too?
Yes, it's just great.
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