Should I go back to an ex?

Watch
Khad1ja
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
My ex and I broke up mainly because of me because it was my first relationship and I didn’t really make enough time for him and my parents are really strict Muslims so I couldn’t go out and see him every week so he broke up with me, but then we met up after the breakup and he said he wanted to get back together but it was just always on and off and ever since then it was just so toxic. I was honestly in such a bad place at the point like I wouldn’t eat properly and I just felt sad all the time because he wasn’t loyal and he said some really hurtful things to me. Anyway, I decided enough was enough because the only reason I let him walk all over me was because I thought I deserved it for the lack of attention I gave him when we were together, but he crossed the line and it wasn’t even comparable at that point. So I removed him off socials but then he would still message me telling me to add him back because I was being “sensitive” and was “overreacting” and basically was still trying to manipulate me so i blocked him but then a few months later and ever since he’s been calling me asking to meet up and apologising and I honestly don’t know what to do. It’s been like 8 months since all of this happened (the toxic ness) so I don’t know whether to go back or not. I honestly miss him so much but I can’t tell whether I’m just attached because he’s my first love or whether I love him. But I do feel like he has changed in a way but then at the same time I’m not convinced…because he’ll say things like “stay up tonight I’ll call you or I’ll call you back” and never does and then one time the day after telling me
How much he liked me I seen him commenting on another girls picture? I truly want to focus on myself but I’ve been saying this for the past year and I feel like he’s going to get bored and eventually stop chasing me and then I’ll never get him back I feel like I’m having to choose between myself and him because In a way I feel like if I don’t love myself the relationship won’t work and I don’t want to feel insecure and that I’m not good enough.
Last edited by Khad1ja; 1 month ago
0
reply
Sofxty
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
Whatever you do. DO NOT get back with your ex. No! You may be hurting but everyone is attached to their first love! Do not get back with him. He wasn't loyal like you said. Never stay with a disloyal man! So I'll say this one more time. DONT GET BACK WITH HIM!
2
reply
Khad1ja
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by Sofxty)
Whatever you do. DO NOT get back with your ex. No! You may be hurting but everyone is attached to their first love! Do not get back with him. He wasn't loyal like you said. Never stay with a disloyal man! So I'll say this one more time. DONT GET BACK WITH HIM!
That is true :/ do you not think people can change? Because he keeps telling me he’s changed and he knows what he’s done wrong this time and that he really regrets it but I can’t know for sure so it’s like I don’t want to take the risk in a way
0
reply
TFEU
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. You definitely need to work on your confidence and self-worth before reentering into a relationship with anyone. No one ‘deserves’ to be walked all over, and it doesn’t matter if he ‘gets bored’.

He sounds toxic. Cheating, verbally abusive, gaslight, inability to commit. He’s just not worth the heartache and you need to move on. 8 months is awfully short for your first love. Do yourself a favour and cut him out of your life.

I don’t think people can change. Even if they can, he certainly doesn’t seem like he’s changed.
0
reply
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by Khad1ja)
That is true :/ do you not think people can change? Because he keeps telling me he’s changed and he knows what he’s done wrong this time and that he really regrets it but I can’t know for sure so it’s like I don’t want to take the risk in a way
Always put yourself on at least an equal footing to others. Any relationship worth being in, should be on the basis of win win.

There's too much in his behaviour where it's a win for him and he's not bothered if it's a win for you. And too much where you've been giving him a win and a loss to you.

Even if he has changed you shouldn't go back.
It's better to start with a clean sheet with someone new.
Plus there's too high a chance that any changes will be temporary ones whilst he makes the effort to get what he wants. And after that he will slip back to his old bad habits.

In future - never sacrifice your good eating habits over some bloke. Your health and safety are the number one most important things in your life.

Please make your happiness and your self esteem and your self image rest almost entirely on what you think of yourself and not on what other(s) think of you.
So some idiot has broken up with you? So what? That doesn't mean you're a bad person. Nor that you will be single for ever more. It just means that you've broken up with someone that turned out to be incompatible with you.
You are still a lovely and desirable person.
0
reply
Nobody2u
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
Going back to an ex is like walking in a forest. if you come across the same tree twice it generally means that you're lost!! Don't do it!
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Feeling behind at school/college? What is the best thing your teachers could to help you catch up?

Extra compulsory independent learning activities (eg, homework tasks) (3)
3.75%
Run extra compulsory lessons or workshops (11)
13.75%
Focus on making the normal lesson time with them as high quality as possible (14)
17.5%
Focus on making the normal learning resources as high quality/accessible as possible (9)
11.25%
Provide extra optional activities, lessons and/or workshops (29)
36.25%
Assess students, decide who needs extra support and focus on these students (14)
17.5%

Watched Threads

View All