What to do when my girlfriend’s sex drive is so much lower than mine?(lesbian)

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Anonymous #1
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I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half now(we’re both girls to be clear) and when we first started we used to have sex all the time at any opportunity and for a few months we were still having sex at least once a day. Now that number is maybe 1-2 a week and that is usually not even fully sex. I’ve told her this makes me feel unsexy because I ask a lot and she just says she’s tired even if we haven’t done anything or we’ll do it tomorrow and that never happens. She also used to dirty talk me a lot and now when I try over message to get her to say stuff like that it just doesn’t happen. She’s never enthusiastic about sex anymore and never asks for it herself and it makes me sad because I want to know I’m wanted in that way. I love her and everything else in the relationship is pretty perfect but sex is a big thing and I don’t understand why she doesn’t want it as much anymore.
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Georgia Jayy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half now(we’re both girls to be clear) and when we first started we used to have sex all the time at any opportunity and for a few months we were still having sex at least once a day. Now that number is maybe 1-2 a week and that is usually not even fully sex. I’ve told her this makes me feel unsexy because I ask a lot and she just says she’s tired even if we haven’t done anything or we’ll do it tomorrow and that never happens. She also used to dirty talk me a lot and now when I try over message to get her to say stuff like that it just doesn’t happen. She’s never enthusiastic about sex anymore and never asks for it herself and it makes me sad because I want to know I’m wanted in that way. I love her and everything else in the relationship is pretty perfect but sex is a big thing and I don’t understand why she doesn’t want it as much anymore.
Hi,

Lesbian here too

I think the problem here is because you both were having intercourse 24/7 it has become a thing now that when you are slowing down in your tracks, you are losing the feeling that you were so used to having. What needs to be understood here between both of you is that you don't have to do it every day but a few times a week even if it's 1-2 is absolutely fine because a relationship isn't based solely on intercourse, it is also mutual intimacy and friendship.

Maybe talk to her; tell her straight up how you feel - don't beat around the bush! Be direct with your emotions and I am sure she will understand. Here's an article similar to your situation: https://www.relate.org.uk/relationsh...partner-doesnt

Finally, if she doesn't feel the same way ultimately by you expressing your feelings and she may tell you straight up she doesn't care for you anymore, move on love - there are plenty more women in the world as I tell myself also haha
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Zarek
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Sex drive mismatch seems to rear its head in most long term relationships. It’s a difficult one because if you don’t feel like it you don’t feel like it, at least initially. The best bet is to try to agree a compromise that can keep you both reasonably happy.
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Anonymous #2
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1-2 times a week is still not bad, maybe a bit of distance is needed to refresh the romance and grow desire again. in long term relationships honestly this happens, you just don't feel as excited all the time as it's not early passionate stages anymore

just give it time or try switching it up, but if you keep asking them when they don't want it it might get annoying and they go off the idea more often than they would being left to initiate it. just speaking from experience.
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