Really annoyed with dating apps

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Anonymous #1
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I'm started to get really annoyed with women on dating apps...

1. So recently I was talking to this one girl, we had a lot of shared interests, exchanged tons of messages. I told her I was interested, she said she would find the time, and we continues to chat. A few days go by and no more messages in response, I explained how I guess there is no interest, she says sorry she was really busy, and we have a chat again, lots more message exchanged.

Next day she messages me and we have another long chat, many many messages back and forth. I say how I'm interested again and asked if she is, and how I'd like to meet to actually get to know her better. She doesn't respond. I mention the next day how she obviously has no interest. She comes up with saying she missed the message and then says how she prefers chatting a lot more over text with people generally. We exchanged many many messages covering many topics and shared interests. Then she says she is probably too busy for dating and says good luck with your search (after I had said that to her).

Absolute ********. Obviously leading me on.

2. Another girl matches with me, starts chatting a lot, seems interested. We actually have a call on the first day of matching, and chat on the phone for like an hour, pretty friendly, she seems a little dense if I'm totally honest with you reading this, but fairly easy going conversation talking about all our interests and such. Says she would like to meet sometime for a walk and chat. Next day she un-matches me without a sound.

3. Another girl matches with me, says hi and I respond, days go by and nothing, I ask whats up as it was odd that she matched and never replied. She gets super defensive saying she has been really really busy. We continue to chat anyway and have quite a lot of fairly in depth conversations. Then bam she is gone, no more messages even though she is still matched.

4. Another woman matches with me, a fair bit older. We have a nice little chat, she says she is going on holiday for a bit and to remind her about meeting up sometime. I remind her and we have a little chat she says remind her in the morning. 3 times she says about reminding her about setting up a meeting. I say surely I shouldn't have to do that if you are interested and no response, which I expected because she is leading me the **** on.

5. There are more....




So I get the impression that there are tons of women on these apps who have no interest in actually getting to know someone at all. It's just a game to them. No respect. No honesty. Bad communication. They are not fit for a relationship.

I'm starting to get annoyed to the point I'm getting on my moral high horse. Most people are utter shambles of human beings. They just have no honesty whatsoever. I treat people like human beings, I tell them what's on my mind, why can't other people be like that. Especially when it comes to dating where you are getting to know someone who may even potentially become your partner. But no, you treat them like some fun game to play with.

Pathetic.
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Chicken87622
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As a girl who has used dating apps herself- I have had these issues so many times with the opposite sex. I think the issue here isn’t with girls- this generation just don’t know how to communicate
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Chicken87622)
As a girl who has used dating apps herself- I have had these issues so many times with the opposite sex. I think the issue here isn’t with girls- this generation just don’t know how to communicate
Yes and maybe you are right it is both ways.

It is incredibly frustrating!!!
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Anonymous #2
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In my experience of using dating apps, a lot of girls just use them to boost their social media followings and have no real intention of actually meeting up with someone or getting to know them. Some are even in relationships and are simply on these apps to gain followers on Instagram etc.

Disclaimer: Guys may do the same as well for all I know, but I can only talk from my experience of the opposite sex.
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Dunnig Kruger
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Create a temporary fake profile on a dating app where you pretend to be a woman.

This will give you a big insight into online dating for women.

How any female with reasonable looking photos gets bombarded with messages. The vast majority of them lame / boring / sinister / too overtly sexual too soon / penis pics / asking for nudes.

The challenge for women on dating sites is finding the needle in the haystack. The one man that's worth them spending time with vs the overwhelming mound of dross.

One thing that it seems that you haven't grasped is that the one and only purpose of creating a dating profile is to meet women that might become your girlfriend. It's not to make penfriends. And it's not to make her your friend before you've met.
So, as soon as a woman sends you an emotionally positive message, you should be aiming to soft close her into a date.

And dating apps should only be one half of the mouth of your dating sales funnel. The other half should come from real life meetings.
Last edited by Dunnig Kruger; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Create a temporary fake profile on a dating app where you pretend to be a woman.

This will give you a big insight into online dating for women.

How any female with reasonable looking photos gets bombarded with messages. The vast majority of them lame / boring / sinister / too overtly sexual too soon / penis pics / asking for nudes.

The challenge for women on dating sites is finding the needle in the haystack. The one man that's worth them spending time with vs the overwhelming mound of dross.

One thing that it seems that you haven't grasped is that the one and only purpose of creating a dating profile is to meet women that might become your girlfriend. It's not to make penfriends. And it's not to make her your friend before you've met.
So, as soon as a woman sends you an emotionally positive message, you should be aiming to soft close her into a date.

And dating apps should only be one half of the mouth of your dating sales funnel. The other half should come from real life meetings.
That is exactly what I have done... They don't respond with wanting to meet. They only want to chat, and lead you on. I'm a very genuine person. I legitimately attempt to get to know someone and pop the would you like to meet question when it is going well.

I know of course that they get bombarded with all of that crap. I have been on dating apps a very long time. The fact they got bombarded with that but when they talk to me who actually puts effort in, but still have no intention of actually meeting, makes it even more frustrating.
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JoshDarnIt_
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TL;DR

Dating apps are shite mate, not worth your time
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by chlamydia9000)
This is why I stopped having endless back and forths on dating sites. They seem interested, they reply but never want to meet. Even with women who've messaged me it can be a hassle to translate that to an actual date. If they aren't willing to arrange a date within about 12 messages I just stopped talking to them. There were plenty of successful interactions too, but yeah I think a lot of women are just there for attention. Maybe they'd go on a date if you were rich or an ultrachad.
I think so yeah.

Money and looks are huge huge wins in this world.
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urlocalinmate
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(Original post by Chicken87622)
As a girl who has used dating apps herself- I have had these issues so many times with the opposite sex. I think the issue here isn’t with girls- this generation just don’t know how to communicate
That was painful to read.
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GabiAbi84
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I mean all I get from the OP is that you like to try to manipulate them to answer you and it’s perhaps your behaviour and communication skills that need work.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
I mean all I get from the OP is that you like to try to manipulate them to answer you and it’s perhaps your behaviour and communication skills that need work.
You're kidding right?

It is called conversation, and then because you have similar interests and you are interested in the person, you ask them out on a harmless date to get to know one another better. You know, the point of dating apps. The problem is as I said. None of the girls I speak to actually say yes, they come up with excuses, but they will continue to chat endlessly. They obviously want attention and to be entertained.
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GabiAbi84
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You're kidding right?

It is called conversation, and then because you have similar interests and you are interested in the person, you ask them out on a harmless date to get to know one another better. You know, the point of dating apps. The problem is as I said. None of the girls I speak to actually say yes, they come up with excuses, but they will continue to chat endlessly. They obviously want attention and to be entertained.
No I’m not kidding.
If you think that communication is whining that “they obviously don’t care” and “if they really wanted to then they wouldn’t need reminding” or “why message if you’re now going to ignore me” when all it is is an attempt to emotionally manipulate people to respond then your communication skills need work.
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Anonymous #3
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She didn't pick you. It happens. Move on.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
No I’m not kidding.
If you think that communication is whining that “they obviously don’t care” and “if they really wanted to then they wouldn’t need reminding” or “why message if you’re now going to ignore me” when all it is is an attempt to emotionally manipulate people to respond then your communication skills need work.
Wow you are nasty. I have never ever attempted to emotionally manipulate anyone ever.

That person said 4 times to remind her about making a date. All I did in the end was say it seems you are not interested, good luck with her search. Nor have I just said to someone straight up "your obviously don't care".

Don't get confused with the obvious frustration I have about this which is the point in this thread, with actual words used. You are trying to turn me into the bad guy and I am anything but the bad guy at all.
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GabiAbi84
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Wow you are nasty. I have never ever attempted to emotionally manipulate anyone ever.

That person said 4 times to remind her about making a date. All I did in the end was say it seems you are not interested, good luck with her search. Nor have I just said to someone straight up "your obviously don't care".

Don't get confused with the obvious frustration I have about this which is the point in this thread, with actual words used. You are trying to turn me into the bad guy and I am anything but the bad guy at all.
Apologies -what you actually said was “she had no interest,” and a second time “she obviously has no interest” -that’s what you wrote in your post, by pointing it out I am not being nasty just making you aware.

I’m pointing out that this sort of manipulative communication will not get you to where you want to be. And yes, it is a form of emotional manipulation.

I’m sorry that you think that you are above reproach and it is all the other persons’ faults that things don’t work out. If you don’t want to work on your communication skills then that’s your choice.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
Apologies -what you actually said was “she had no interest,” and a second time “she obviously has no interest” -that’s what you wrote in your post, by pointing it out I am not being nasty just making you aware.

I’m pointing out that this sort of manipulative communication will not get you to where you want to be. And yes, it is a form of emotional manipulation.

I’m sorry that you think that you are above reproach and it is all the other persons’ faults that things don’t work out. If you don’t want to work on your communication skills then that’s your choice.
lol no it is not manipulative in the slightest. Telling someone straight up that you can see there is no interest and telling them good luck with their search to end a chat that is not going anywhere real, is completely straight forward, honest, normal behaviour.

Maybe it is you who has communication problems. You assume these girls would have met me. My experience shows otherwise that these girls did not have any intention of meeting me.

Again, you are a nasty piece of work because you are blaming me and making me out to be the bad guy. I have been super nice to the people I talked to, very respectful, and even shared some nice interests with them and good conversation. Lots of messages back and forth. The issue is the dishonesty of the person. They were leading me on and only wanted to chat, that was it.

Please stop just trying to hate me for no reason.
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GabiAbi84
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(Original post by Anonymous)
lol no it is not manipulative in the slightest. Telling someone straight up that you can see there is no interest and telling them good luck with their search to end a chat that is not going anywhere real, is completely straight forward, honest, normal behaviour.

Maybe it is you who has communication problems. You assume these girls would have met me. My experience shows otherwise that these girls did not have any intention of meeting me.

Again, you are a nasty piece of work because you are blaming me and making me out to be the bad guy. I have been super nice to the people I talked to, very respectful, and even shared some nice interests with them and good conversation. Lots of messages back and forth. The issue is the dishonesty of the person. They were leading me on and only wanted to chat, that was it.

Please stop just trying to hate me for no reason.
It is manipulative-because you’re trying to get a reaction or a response. You’re trying to make them feel bad about their behaviour instead of you just ending the conversation by stopping it yourself.
Again-not my fault that you can’t see that and if you want to blame me for your poor communication skills then that’s just another mark to chalk up.

I’m assuming nothing about these girls. I know only what you have written and am basing my replies on what can be clearly seen from your pattern of behaviour with each of them.

I don’t hate you-I don’t know you, and you have no bearing on my feelings whatsoever.

It’s a shame you’d rather blame everyone else than attempt to fix the issues that you can change. Like I said, your choice.
Last edited by GabiAbi84; 1 month ago
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Ireplied
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Why are you getting angry, aren't you happy you matched in the first place? Clearly you have something going for you and if it's not going well, and you're getting angry, then it's probably not for you.
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IlikeDonerKebab
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Yh leave a review on the AppStore. That will teach those scammers :mad:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
It is manipulative-because you’re trying to get a reaction or a response. You’re trying to make them feel bad about their behaviour instead of you just ending the conversation by stopping it yourself.
Again-not my fault that you can’t see that and if you want to blame me for your poor communication skills then that’s just another mark to chalk up.

I’m assuming nothing about these girls. I know only what you have written and am basing my replies on what can be clearly seen from your pattern of behaviour with each of them.

I don’t hate you-I don’t know you, and you have no bearing on my feelings whatsoever.

It’s a shame you’d rather blame everyone else than attempt to fix the issues that you can change. Like I said, your choice.
No. I'm sorry you think in a manipulative way. I'm sorry you automatically think someone is trying to hurt someone or make someone feel bad in that way. The words are simply meant to end a conversation, they are closing words, and I even said good luck to them.
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