I wore sexy lingerie and my bf laughed..

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Anonymous #1
#1
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Me and my partner had been having problems within our relationship and I wanted to spice things up..

So I decided to order some sexy lingerie which is a new thing for me but I wanted to give it a go to surprise my bf.

When it arrives I try them on a show my partner who was already in the bed room.

As I open the door he just bursts out laughing.
I feel like it wasnt a full just shocked laugh. More just a you look ridiculous laugh...

From then he didn't give me the reaction I was hoping for.. eg telling me I looked nice, leading to sex etc.. but no nothing happened except laughter.

I then decided to leave the room and put on my pjs after feeling humiliated.

After he could tell I was down and had been asking me what was wrong. I just felt like saying are you fr... can you be that clueless?

Kind of feeling down about this and I've been worried about our relationship.. I mean i feel like he dosnt find me sexy.. man writing that cut me.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Should I be worried that he's going off me
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DrSocSciences
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Dw too much: you had plenty of time to think about the scenario and to anticipate his reaction. He was caught on the hop. Don’t overthink his response: yes, it’s annoying when you’ve spent time and money, but just go with the flow. You’ve already signalled that your sexual relationship is important to you.
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CaptainDuckie
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Is he always this immature in other aspects of your relationship?

I hate to say it, but it does look like an appropriate reason to start reconsidering your relationship. Talk to him about what’s up, and see what he says. If he continues laughing then that’s actually just disrespectful at that point.
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Reality Check
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my partner had been having problems within our relationship and I wanted to spice things up..

So I decided to order some sexy lingerie which is a new thing for me but I wanted to give it a go to surprise my bf.

When it arrives I try them on a show my partner who was already in the bed room.

As I open the door he just bursts out laughing.
I feel like it wasnt a full just shocked laugh. More just a you look ridiculous laugh...

From then he didn't give me the reaction I was hoping for.. eg telling me I looked nice, leading to sex etc.. but no nothing happened except laughter.

I then decided to leave the room and put on my pjs after feeling humiliated.

After he could tell I was down and had been asking me what was wrong. I just felt like saying are you fr... can you be that clueless?

Kind of feeling down about this and I've been worried about our relationship.. I mean i feel like he dosnt find me sexy.. man writing that cut me.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Should I be worried that he's going off me
I think he was just being a bit of a bloke about this and being slightly thoughtless. It's really probably not that deep. Yes it's insensitive, but be fair to him: you've already said that 'it's a new thing to you', so if you suddenly burst into the room in a 'sexy' pair of niknaks, he might have just been like 'umm, wtf' and laughed. It doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't fancy you, or there's some huge trust/respect issue.

Cut him some slack.
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Djtoodles
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(Original post by Reality Check)
I think he was just being a bit of a bloke about this and being slightly thoughtless. It's really probably not that deep. Yes it's insensitive, but be fair to him: you've already said that 'it's a new thing to you', so if you suddenly burst into the room in a 'sexy' pair of niknaks, he might have just been like 'umm, wtf' and laughed. It doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't fancy you, or there's some huge trust/respect issue.

Cut him some slack.
I get what you’re saying but even if it was a laugh of surprise, that he didn’t pick up on why she was feeling down means he’s dense as pudding, that alone would be a reason to dump him.
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Son of the Sea
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(Original post by Djtoodles)
I get what you’re saying but even if it was a laugh of surprise, that he didn’t pick up on why she was feeling down means he’s dense as pudding, that alone would be a reason to dump him.
Dumping someone because they laughed at you wearing lingerie? Get a grip.
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IlikeDonerKebab
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Mabye he was giggling
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Lucifer323
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my partner had been having problems within our relationship and I wanted to spice things up..

So I decided to order some sexy lingerie which is a new thing for me but I wanted to give it a go to surprise my bf.

When it arrives I try them on a show my partner who was already in the bed room.

As I open the door he just bursts out laughing.
I feel like it wasnt a full just shocked laugh. More just a you look ridiculous laugh...

From then he didn't give me the reaction I was hoping for.. eg telling me I looked nice, leading to sex etc.. but no nothing happened except laughter.

I then decided to leave the room and put on my pjs after feeling humiliated.

After he could tell I was down and had been asking me what was wrong. I just felt like saying are you fr... can you be that clueless?

Kind of feeling down about this and I've been worried about our relationship.. I mean i feel like he dosnt find me sexy.. man writing that cut me.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Should I be worried that he's going off me
I would have probably done the same and burst out laughing...
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Djtoodles
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(Original post by Son of the Sea)
Dumping someone because they laughed at you wearing lingerie? Get a grip.
Clearly reading isnt a strong suit of yours lol.
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Son of the Sea
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(Original post by Djtoodles)
Clearly reading isnt a strong suit of yours lol.
It’s essentially what you’re saying. It’s also equally ridiculous to suggest dumping someone because they don’t pick up on one time you’re feeling down lol.
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gjd800
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(Original post by Djtoodles)
I get what you’re saying but even if it was a laugh of surprise, that he didn’t pick up on why she was feeling down means he’s dense as pudding, that alone would be a reason to dump him.
This is just silly

OP should simply have this discussion with their partner, not jump to hasty conclusions
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Djtoodles
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(Original post by Son of the Sea)
It’s essentially what you’re saying. It’s also equally ridiculous to suggest dumping someone because they don’t pick up on one time you’re feeling down lol.
No, the laughing is what it is, bit of a **** move but maybe explainable. Not picking up on your partners sadness it in this situation is having the emotional awareness of a plate of Jell-O and to me that is dump worthy.
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Reality Check
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(Original post by Djtoodles)
I get what you’re saying but even if it was a laugh of surprise, that he didn’t pick up on why she was feeling down means he’s dense as pudding, that alone would be a reason to dump him.
Some blokes are. But I wouldn't say that being a bit insensitive to feelings was an automatic dumpable offence. The whole thing would need to be considered in the round, surely. If this fitted into a pattern of behaviour, then maybe it might be another red flag. But we don't have that information, so I think we need to be generous and give the benefit of the doubt.
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Lucifer323
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(Original post by Djtoodles)
No, the laughing is what it is, bit of a **** move but maybe explainable. Not picking up on your partners sadness it in this situation is having the emotional awareness of a plate of Jell-O and to me that is dump worthy.
The laughing isn't that of an issue. Imagine the girl to be a little or lot chubby and try to be sexy wearing funny clothes or whatever comes to her mind...
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Akhi Sleepy
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Maybe u did look funny
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Djtoodles
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(Original post by Lucifer323)
The laughing isn't that of an issue. Imagine the girl to be a little or lot chubby and try to be sexy wearing funny clothes or whatever comes to her mind...
I mean sure if it’s some random tanker I catch a glimpse of or see on tv then I’ll have a laugh but if I find my gf funny not sexy in that context, I think it’s time to have a think on my end about if I want to be dating this chick. But thats just me.
Last edited by Djtoodles; 1 month ago
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urlocalinmate
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Get a load of this guy.
Last edited by urlocalinmate; 1 month ago
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Djtoodles)
No, the laughing is what it is, bit of a **** move but maybe explainable. Not picking up on your partners sadness it in this situation is having the emotional awareness of a plate of Jell-O and to me that is dump worthy.

I agree.
While I understand that people on this site seem to be trigger happy with the “dump him” and “move ons” I feel like any normal person with an ounce of maturity will not laugh directly at them. If they did laugh then explained straight after wards, then maybe there is some leverage. But OP’s bf has a bit of explaining to do from this, ngl.

Yes, they might laugh at the moment later on after exploring what it is that was the problem but directly at them can be perceived in many different ways: from him laughing at her body, to him laughing at whatever she was wearing.
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Ciel.
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i remember reading this thread years ago, so weird
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my partner had been having problems within our relationship and I wanted to spice things up..

So I decided to order some sexy lingerie which is a new thing for me but I wanted to give it a go to surprise my bf.

When it arrives I try them on a show my partner who was already in the bed room.

As I open the door he just bursts out laughing.
I feel like it wasnt a full just shocked laugh. More just a you look ridiculous laugh...

From then he didn't give me the reaction I was hoping for.. eg telling me I looked nice, leading to sex etc.. but no nothing happened except laughter.

I then decided to leave the room and put on my pjs after feeling humiliated.

After he could tell I was down and had been asking me what was wrong. I just felt like saying are you fr... can you be that clueless?

Kind of feeling down about this and I've been worried about our relationship.. I mean i feel like he dosnt find me sexy.. man writing that cut me.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Should I be worried that he's going off me
I would laugh at you too
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