Let’s just be friends - mans fault or just chance?

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Anonymous #1
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I’ve heard both extremes of views. Some say women just see some men as friends and nothing more because the man didn’t make himself attractive enough, didn’t make her feel desired enough etc. Others say, it’s pure chance whether there’s romantic chemistry. I think the answer is somewhere in between. What do others think?
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hey hey yall
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i agree most of the time it starts out as just friends anyway
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londonmyst
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Often it is not a question that involves any fault or apportioning blame.
Different people have very different attraction dealbreakers, beauty standards and relationship preferences.

It can take a while to decide whether there is enough mutual attraction to want a relationship or to hookup.
Then even longer to form an opinion on if there is enough compatibility with dealbreakers and in terms of personal ambitions, lifestyles & sexual preferences to have a reasonable chance of a happy relationship with minimal serious conflict.
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OctoberRain7
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Presumably (and hopefully), you have women in your life who you just see as friends. Is it their "fault", or are you simply not attracted to them? Now, why would things be different the other way around?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by OctoberRain7)
Presumably (and hopefully), you have women in your life who you just see as friends. Is it their "fault", or are you simply not attracted to them? Now, why would things be different the other way around?
Yes, some of it is their fault actually.
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Anonymous #2
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Love is a confusing thing, and attraction is so subjective its impossible to get a clear answer. It either happens or it doesn't don't try to read too hard. But typically chemistry can occur when you share personal subjects along with agree on deep issues poltically and ethically. Then also the actual science of it is you feel good and recognise the reason you feel good is because of that persons presence so you wish for more.

Simply it's complicated but i'd say yeah I don't think anyone falls in love immediately and it likely always starts as friends then develops. However do not confuse lust with love.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Love is a confusing thing, and attraction is so subjective its impossible to get a clear answer. It either happens or it doesn't don't try to read too hard. But typically chemistry can occur when you share personal subjects along with agree on deep issues poltically and ethically. Then also the actual science of it is you feel good and recognise the reason you feel good is because of that persons presence so you wish for more.

Simply it's complicated but i'd say yeah I don't think anyone falls in love immediately and it likely always starts as friends then develops. However do not confuse lust with love.
I don’t think this is true. Because if this were true, why do some people get rejected all the time and others get into relationships all the time. Chemistry on its own is clearly not enough for a relationship to happen - there has to be sexual attraction as well. Otherwise why do so many guys get told “you’re a great guy and I love spending time with you but I just want to be friends”.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don’t think this is true. Because if this were true, why do some people get rejected all the time and others get into relationships all the time. Chemistry on its own is clearly not enough for a relationship to happen - there has to be sexual attraction as well. Otherwise why do so many guys get told “you’re a great guy and I love spending time with you but I just want to be friends”.
Of course sexual attraction is important. It's why a straight man doesn't develop feelings for his guy friends even though they have the same beliefs. But the chemistry is also important.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Of course sexual attraction is important. It's why a straight man doesn't develop feelings for his guy friends even though they have the same beliefs. But the chemistry is also important.
I don’t think that’s comparable. A straight man doesn’t develop sexual attraction for guy friends because he’s not gay and so doesn’t have the ability to develop sexual attraction for another man. its a whole gender, not a particular person.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Of course sexual attraction is important. It's why a straight man doesn't develop feelings for his guy friends even though they have the same beliefs. But the chemistry is also important.
Unless you’re implying that women classify these guys as women.
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