Bf pretty girls: GENUINE ADVICE ASAP❤️😞😟

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Jesswhats
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My bf is friends with this girl who so pretty. We kinda look alike but not exactly. She is pretty sexy and has a nice body. I’m so like threatened by it and I never have been with a guy. They live next to eachother in the same apartment complex. He re assures me that he is just friends with her nothing else snd that he can be friends with people who is his type. She also says they’re just friends and he’s never flirted or even hugged her.

Am I wrong for feeling sick to my stomach from it. It’s like a gut feeling kind of thing. I believe him because I know he’s friendly with everyone but I don’t get how a man can not get like horny or excited over her. that is his type too
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salamjakodsmka
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Unfortunately theres not a lot you can do but trust him Thats what makes a relationship work
Your boyfriends with you and it sounds like hes happy to be so j focus on having a happy relationship with him and dw abt other people. If she likes him she likes him, theres nothing you can do. But I think you should get to know her better - if you get to the point where you can trust boht of them, that will probably help get rid of ur worries. Dont look at her with the idea that she is some kind of competitor, shes just a friend of a friend, nothing more nothing less x
Last edited by salamjakodsmka; 1 month ago
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CaptainDuckie
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I wouldn’t say you’re wrong for feeling that way, it’s completely okay to be protective of your bf.

Just take his word for it and trust him. Having a relationship is all about the trust, and many situations arise which test your trust, this is just one of many of them.

Having said that, you should probably work on your confidence. It’s evidently taking its toll on you here.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by salamjakodsmka)
Unfortunately theres not a lot you can do but trust him Thats what makes a relationship work
Your boyfriends with you and it sounds like hes happy to be so j focus on having a happy relationship with him and dw abt other people. If she likes him she likes him, theres nothing you can do. But I think you should get to know her better - if you get to the point where you can trust boht of them, that will probably help get rid of ur worries. Dont look at her with the idea that she is some kind of competitor, shes just a friend of a friend, nothing more nothing less x
He made friends with her after he got with me. He doesn’t really have a reason to be friends with her but the fact they live close together. She’s come to his house once and he didn’t tell me so I went to her snd asked her. She didn’t know who I was because they’re friends but they don’t speak unless they see eachorher in the neighbourhood but she said when she went over it was completely innocent.

How do I explain to him i feel threatened by her snd I want him to make me feel more secure.
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Hmmm:0
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(Original post by Jesswhats)
My bf is friends with this girl who so pretty. We kinda look alike but not exactly. She is pretty sexy and has a nice body. I’m so like threatened by it and I never have been with a guy. They live next to eachother in the same apartment complex. He re assures me that he is just friends with her nothing else snd that he can be friends with people who is his type. She also says they’re just friends and he’s never flirted or even hugged her.

Am I wrong for feeling sick to my stomach from it. It’s like a gut feeling kind of thing. I believe him because I know he’s friendly with everyone but I don’t get how a man can not get like horny or excited over her. that is his type too
Honestly, you shouldn't be in a relationship if your insecurities levels are that high. That's why people say "If you don't love yourself, you can't love someone else." If you accept yourself as you are, you'll feel confident and secure in yourself and won't feel the need to worry about others. Talk to your boyfriend but he can't do much. As harsh as it is, this is a you problem unless your boyfriend has given you reason not to trust him, in which case you need to communicate that to him in order to strengthen your relationship and move past this. I understand how you feel because I have too, in the past. In my experience, these feelings and thoughts only stop with self reflection, change (if necessary) and acceptance. Good luck
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Jesswhats
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
I wouldn’t say you’re wrong for feeling that way, it’s completely okay to be protective of your bf.

Just take his word for it and trust him. Having a relationship is all about the trust, and many situations arise which test your trust, this is just one of many of them.

Having said that, you should probably work on your confidence. It’s evidently taking its toll on you here.
He made friends with her after he got with me. He doesn’t really have a reason to be friends with her but the fact they live close together. She’s come to his house once and he didn’t tell me so I went to her snd asked her. She didn’t know who I was because they’re friends but they don’t speak unless they see eachorher in the neighbourhood but she said when she went over it was completely innocent.

How do I explain to him i feel threatened by her snd I want him to make me feel more secure. He’s invited her out once with his friends before but she was the one who told me this. I think he knows I feel a type of way and abit threatened so he don’t tell me things even when they’re innocent because I guess he don’t want me to be threatened even more.

What do you think of that ? My friends say I’m naive. Do you think so?

I’ll defo work on my confidence. I’ve never felt no type of way about another woman until this. He’s literally her type to a T.
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Zarek
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You have to trust him. Strangely the best way to hold on to a partner is to be totally non-possessive and self assured
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Jesswhats
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(Original post by Hmmm:0)
Honestly, you shouldn't be in a relationship if your insecurities levels are that high. That's why people say "If you don't love yourself, you can't love someone else." If you accept yourself as you are, you'll feel confident and secure in yourself and won't feel the need to worry about others. Talk to your boyfriend but he can't do much. As harsh as it is, this is a you problem unless your boyfriend has given you reason not to trust him, in which case you need to communicate that to him in order to strengthen your relationship and move past this. I understand how you feel because I have too, in the past. In my experience, these feelings and thoughts only stop with self reflection, change (if necessary) and acceptance. Good luck
Honestly though I’ve never felt this about way about another female before but he’s her his type to a He made friends with her after he got with me. He doesn’t really have a reason to be friends with her but the fact they live close together. She’s come to his house once and he didn’t tell me so I went to her snd asked her. She didn’t know who I was because they’re friends but they don’t speak unless they see eachorher in the neighbourhood but she said when she went over it was completely innocent.

How do I explain to him i feel threatened by her snd I want him to make me feel more secure.
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Jesswhats
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(Original post by Zarek)
You have to trust him. Strangely the best way to hold on to a partner is to be totally non-possessive and self assured
Yeah 100%. I feel like he thinks I don’t trust him at all. Will this make him feel upset ? Sometimes I don’t handle things well so he avoids conflict by not telling me things.

He made friends with her after he got with me. He doesn’t really have a reason to be friends with her but the fact they live close together. She’s come to his house once and he didn’t tell me so I went to her snd asked her. She didn’t know who I was because they’re friends but they don’t speak unless they see eachorher in the neighbourhood but she said when she went over it was completely innocent.

How do I explain to him i feel threatened by her snd I want him to make me feel more secure.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Jesswhats)
He made friends with her after he got with me. He doesn’t really have a reason to be friends with her but the fact they live close together. She’s come to his house once and he didn’t tell me so I went to her snd asked her. She didn’t know who I was because they’re friends but they don’t speak unless they see eachorher in the neighbourhood but she said when she went over it was completely innocent.

How do I explain to him i feel threatened by her snd I want him to make me feel more secure. He’s invited her out once with his friends before but she was the one who told me this. I think he knows I feel a type of way and abit threatened so he don’t tell me things even when they’re innocent because I guess he don’t want me to be threatened even more.

What do you think of that ? My friends say I’m naive. Do you think so?

I’ll defo work on my confidence. I’ve never felt no type of way about another woman until this. He’s literally her type to a T.


I wouldn’t say to him that you feel threatened by her.

He has already told you that they’re just friends. Nothing you can really do but just take it as that.

Asking him about her should be enough for him to make a judgement about what he thinks should be the best thing to do. He’s already reassured you, more confrontation can be perceived as you don’t trust him or something.

The relationship is done if that’s the case.
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Trinculo
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(Original post by Jesswhats)
My bf is friends with this girl who so pretty. We kinda look alike but not exactly. She is pretty sexy and has a nice body. I’m so like threatened by it and I never have been with a guy. They live next to eachother in the same apartment complex. He re assures me that he is just friends with her nothing else snd that he can be friends with people who is his type. She also says they’re just friends and he’s never flirted or even hugged her.

Am I wrong for feeling sick to my stomach from it. It’s like a gut feeling kind of thing. I believe him because I know he’s friendly with everyone but I don’t get how a man can not get like horny or excited over her. that is his type too
Ngl, it sounds like you fancy her more than he does.
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Ippytang
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(Original post by Hmmm:0)
Honestly, you shouldn't be in a relationship if your insecurities levels are that high. That's why people say "If you don't love yourself, you can't love someone else." If you accept yourself as you are, you'll feel confident and secure in yourself and won't feel the need to worry about others. Talk to your boyfriend but he can't do much. As harsh as it is, this is a you problem unless your boyfriend has given you reason not to trust him, in which case you need to communicate that to him in order to strengthen your relationship and move past this. I understand how you feel because I have too, in the past. In my experience, these feelings and thoughts only stop with self reflection, change (if necessary) and acceptance. Good luck
You sound so wise. Got any books or academic references where I can learn how to be like this?
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Zarek
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(Original post by Jesswhats)
Yeah 100%. I feel like he thinks I don’t trust him at all. Will this make him feel upset ? Sometimes I don’t handle things well so he avoids conflict by not telling me things.

He made friends with her after he got with me. He doesn’t really have a reason to be friends with her but the fact they live close together. She’s come to his house once and he didn’t tell me so I went to her snd asked her. She didn’t know who I was because they’re friends but they don’t speak unless they see eachorher in the neighbourhood but she said when she went over it was completely innocent.

How do I explain to him i feel threatened by her snd I want him to make me feel more secure.
You can tell him how you feel and ask for reassurance and be clear on what you view as cheating but I don’t think it’s good to ask him not to have female friends. In reality in a relationship someone is only with you because they want to be, best to trust unless there’s evidence to the contrary and like I said the best way to hold on to your partner is to be self-assured
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Hmmm:0
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(Original post by Ippytang)
You sound so wise. Got any books or academic references where I can learn how to be like this?
Yes actually. I reccommend the book 'Self Compassion. The proven power of being kind to yourself' - Kristin Neff. It really made me think and has helped with self progression. Also surrounding yourself with people who are more experienced than you, who have proven to deal with things in a productive and positive way rather than destructive and negative. We tend to mirror the environment we put ourselves in. This will help stop you from self sabotaging your entire life
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Jesswhats
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(Original post by Zarek)
You can tell him how you feel and ask for reassurance and be clear on what you view as cheating but I don’t think it’s good to ask him not to have female friends. In reality in a relationship someone is only with you because they want to be, best to trust unless there’s evidence to the contrary and like I said the best way to hold on to your partner is to be self-assured
Evidence as in?
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Zarek
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(Original post by Jesswhats)
Evidence as in?
You catch him out or get credible reports of him up to shenanigans. Doesn’t sound like you trust him at all
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salamjakodsmka
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He made friends with her after he got with me. He doesn’t really have a reason to be friends with her but the fact they live close together. She’s come to his house once and he didn’t tell me so I went to her snd asked her. She didn’t know who I was because they’re friends but they don’t speak unless they see eachorher in the neighbourhood but she said when she went over it was completely innocent.

How do I explain to him i feel threatened by her snd I want him to make me feel more secure.
the best thing you can do is be honest with your boyfriend and tell him about these worries, just like how ur telling us. idk what hell say or do ofc but it isnt good to feel this kind of worry in a relationship and I'm sure he wouldnt want you to feel like this. communication is the most important thing so let him know its really bothering you this much
tbf he's already told you the answer once, what makes you think youre going to believe him the second time he tries reassuring you?
if i was you id keep trusting your boyfriend unless he gives you a reason not to. its difficult but id rather trust someone and risk being hurt then keep complaining or being moody to someone i love because of a speculation and eventually pushing them away

as ducks said, deffo try wokring on your confidence cus if you feel like this rn you'll feel like it for the rest of the relationship.
think about it like this - dont you know any guy that looks better than your boyfriend? im sure you do but ur not in love with the other guy, ur in love with your boyfriend. your relationship isnt based on appearance only i hope (and if you find out it does its not a relationship that can last or is worth having). hope this helped and good luck x
Last edited by salamjakodsmka; 1 month ago
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GabiAbi84
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You’ve literally been posting about this for months.
You have issues.

You probably shouldn’t be in a relationship if you can’t handle other people existing.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by salamjakodsmka)
the best thing you can do is be honest with your boyfriend and tell him about these worries, just like how ur telling us. idk what hell say or do ofc but it isnt good to feel this kind of worry in a relationship and I'm sure he wouldnt want you to feel like this. communication is the most important thing so let him know its really bothering you this much
tbf he's already told you the answer once, what makes you think youre going to believe him the second time he tries reassuring you?
if i was you id keep trusting your boyfriend unless he gives you a reason not to. its difficult but id rather trust someone and risk being hurt then keep complaining or being moody to someone i love because of a speculation and eventually pushing them away

as ducks said, deffo try wokring on your confidence cus if you feel like this rn you'll feel like it for the rest of the relationship.
think about it like this - dont you know any guy that looks better than your boyfriend? im sure you do but ur not in love with the other guy, ur in love with your boyfriend. your relationship isnt based on appearance only i hope (and if you find out it does its not a relationship that can last or is worth having). hope this helped and good luck x
I explained everything to him and he reassured me last week and I said I’m not comfortable with them going on nights out together and he said okay he won’t. 5 days later he went out on a night out with his friend and her. I saw on his friends story. I ended the relationship because I think it’s soo so disrespectful. When I called him while he was out he told me he’s not dealing with my drama and hung up on me
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