Am I trans or not

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Anonymous #1
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I need advice on this issue. I can’t tell if I’m trans or just unhappy with my life and body. I am 19 years old and a gay male, I’m quite masculine but I don’t like my body. I’ve got a bit of extra podge and moobs as I like to call them as I was quite large when I was younger and never managed to loose all the weight.

I struggled to accept I was gay and I have kind of now and I’m okay with it. I have had boyfriends, and I actively date and have sex with men. But sometimes I get these thoughts like oh **** I’m trans. Especially as a few of my friends who had previously turned out gay or lesbian have since come out trans, and I feel like it’s almost a fear that I will as well, and I know that my life wouldn’t be worth living if I was. Like there would be no point at all, I wouldn’t want to be trans and I would loose all of my friends and family and there literally would be no point.

I don’t feel uncomfortable with my body either, I don’t feel upset by my genitalia or wish I could dress as a women. I don’t feel dysporia in that way at all. I am only unhappy with my body because I think I am fat. Like I am happy to be a man, but I know getting these thoughts but I’d never wanan act on them. What do I do. I do have depression and a small social group, am I just unhappy
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Anonymous #2
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No
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AmIReallyHere
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I mean you might be at some point in your life gender is fluid just like sexuality

I would suggest thinking about your pronouns bevause while gender =/= pronouns, they are a step to understanding what you like, also you don't have to tell anyone about being trans if you don't want to, it can be a scary thing

And for example people think about lots of things but never act on them, having the thoughts in the first place isn't necessarily saying you are going to do it
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Bio 7
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Maybe you just need to work on losing more of the weight. If you think that's the source of a lot of issues for you then it can't hurt and exercise is supposed to make you feel better.

As for being trans that's a hard one that you'll probably need to consider for a while. Don't feel like that's the end of the world. You said you have friends that have come out, can you talk to them about it? Surely you wouldn't lose them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by AmIReallyHere)
I mean you might be at some point in your life gender is fluid just like sexuality

I would suggest thinking about your pronouns bevause while gender =/= pronouns, they are a step to understanding what you like, also you don't have to tell anyone about being trans if you don't want to, it can be a scary thing

And for example people think about lots of things but never act on them, having the thoughts in the first place isn't necessarily saying you are going to do it
My pronouns and He Him, like I don’t feel like I am she or her. But I get these thoughts like oh what if I am and then I get so worked up on it that I can’t stop thinking about it
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EierVonSatan
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Just seems like you are unhappy and struggling with your mental health. Nothing you've said suggests that you might be trans, just because people you know have come out as trans doesn't mean you are or that it's some inevitable future for yourself.
Last edited by EierVonSatan; 1 month ago
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Final Fantasy
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Maybe you are suffering from mental health issues? Worth seeing your GP if your mental health is affecting your everyday life.
Last edited by Final Fantasy; 1 month ago
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crisPN11
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It's interesting that you say that you "fear" you will turn out to be trans. I'm not an expert in this kind of stuff, but usually when I fear something that's because I don't want it to happen. To me, it sounds more like a body rather than a gender insecurity. What if you ask yourself this: if you had what you view as the "ideal" male body, would you still be unhappy and have these thoughts? I would recommend you explore these questions with an expert who can help you clear your mind. Best of luck.
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hamzih.ata
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Meditate.
Exercise and appreciate nature.
I don't really know how what youve said means you should come out as trans.
But to your question '' am i trans or not '', i would say no you aren't. Just because you are gay doesnt mean you should identify with a different set of traits or characteristics.
Like you said you 'feel' masculine.
Don't overthink these things, its the world that has made these things so confusing and allowed it to be so.
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_gcx
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Body dysmorphia (over-obsession with perceived flaws in/extreme dislike of appearance) is a separate issue to gender dysphoria.
Last edited by _gcx; 1 month ago
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