(LGBT) relationship, playing the field

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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
I’m (20f) in a long term relationship but I want to experience other people and be young before I settle down.

Hi, so I’m currently going into year three of my degree at uni with my girlfriend (f21). She’s graduated already (as she’s a year older) but we’ve moved in together for this coming year. We’ve been together for nearly two years now (pretty much the duration of my uni life).

The thing is, I planned on messing around and not really getting into a relationship at the start of uni, but we hit it off instantly and here I am, in a serious relationship.

I’m having feelings of regret and I feel like I want to ‘play the field’ (but not go crazy). I just crave new experiences and new sexual partners- although I love my girlfriend, she’s had this and I haven’t- which I don’t have an issue with, but the feeling’s starting to become stifling. Plus, the sex with her isn’t great.

Not really sure what else to say, but we had a wobble recently and my friends and parents expected me to break up with her (which I didn’t, as I still do love her). Anyway, we’re trying again but I’m wondering if it’s time to move on although I still love her?

For reference, I’m repeating second year as I put myself second to her emotional and physical needs (she’s been ill and has needed taking care of, which isn’t her fault, obviously). But now she’s better, some things need to change. I’ve spoken to her about it and we agreed she’d change the habits that make life more stressful for me, and she’d help out more around the house etc.
Badges: 11
Report 1 month ago
It is a difficult situation that young couples find themselves in often, and it will take some serious soul-searching and backbone-engaging to overcome. It's evident that you love this woman, and have been committed to helping her get through some tough times. I would be interested in hearing what she brings to the relationship, or what it is you expect of her now that her time of need has passed - and whether she is working on it.

Otherwise, I'm going to rock the boat and state that it's called the "seven-year itch" for a reason. A lot of situations in which one partner has had less experience, do end up facing the dilemma of FOMO and missed opportunities when looking down the barrel of a potentially life-long commitment. Some people can get past it, some put on a strong face and suck it up, some end up going behind their back and some end up breaking it off. I am sorry to say it will likely always be in the back of your mind - all the fun hijinks you could have been getting up to when you look back at 30.

I suppose it comes down to a simple decision; do you really love this woman for her, or for you? Is your fear of being single greater than your desire to explore your sexuality? Can you let go someone you truly love, to throw yourself to the wind and start from scratch? I can't tell you what to do, but you need to dig deep and think about how strong you can be in your own skin whichever path you chose. If you do choose to leave, don't skirt around it - be direct and honest, and commit to your decision. Once you put it out there that you're "thinking of leaving" it will only get more complicated should you end up staying.

Good luck.

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