Me and my closest friend like the same girl, what should I do?

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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Ok so there’s this girl that me and who I would consider to be my closest friend are both into, I wanna quickly add that I’ve always struggled making and maintaining close friendships so I really value this friendship, me and him are extremely similar, which is great until situations like this arise haha.

He’s known the girl longer than I have as they’re on the same course, I probably met her around 8 months ago whereas he has known her for near 2 years. However it was only a month or 2 ago that she came out of a relationship. I haven’t seen a much of her whereas again my friend has during his uni course and where they’re closer because of this they’ve been out a few times. But the times I have been with her I just really enjoy, it’s rare for me to be instantly attracted to a girl both in the way she looks and in her personality, she is my 100% my type, and this is why I’m struggling, usually I’d be like sure the guys known her longer and I care too much about our friendship to let a girl (who might not even like either of us back, ever) get in the middle of us, but I can’t stop feeling attracted to her whenever she’s around.

Another issue is that neither of us have had much luck with girls and we’ve had several chats where he has opened up to me about his love life, where I’m not too bothered about mine he can get quite upset when it feels like no one is into him, and although he hasn’t opened up to this girl about his feelings towards her she has stuck around where most girls wouldn’t, my thinking of this is that she considers him just a friend.

I’ve also been in a situation previously where I was close with a girl and one of my “friends” decided to get with her behind my back, but this was different as I completely didn’t see it coming he never told me he was attracted to her and I had been intimate with her on multiple occasions, in the current situation there hasn’t been anything like this.

What do I do? Do I just ignore my feelings, move on and hope I find that same instant attraction in the future or so I pursue it and potentially stab my closest friend in the back?
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CaptainDuckie
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#2
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I think you should aim to be realistic. As in who you think she gets along with more.

After having done that, have a discussion with him regarding the next actions.

After that, you have now successfully agreed on who is going to make a move on her first.
Last edited by CaptainDuckie; 1 month ago
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Elize W
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She is going to make her choice anyway (it is not a competition) so it is best to bring that in a conversation with your friend. Making sure this doesnt impact your friendship badly sounds like a good idea. I wouldnt do anything behind his back tho. Just be honest about it. Ultimately you dont need to put his wants before yours and go for it if the girl likes you.
Last edited by Elize W; 1 month ago
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T4ch
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take turns
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a_human_being?
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Only one way to sort this out. A brutal battle to the death, both vying to win the love of the girl in question, all while she reveals at the end that she's not attracted to either of you.
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Anonymous #2
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Report 1 month ago
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(Original post by T4ch)
take turns
be bros
share your hoes
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