How often do people actually date there first choice?

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Anonymous #1
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Have you ever realised that the majority of people are not actually dating there "preferred partner" but are actually just dating the best they can get?


If you offered a girl/boy a chance to switch there partner for a "dream" partner (someone who is 10/10 attractive and 10/10 personality). How many people would actually stay with there partner?

So the ultimate question , are most people dating/marrying purely because they found there "dream partner" or simply just because they found someone who is "just good enough" or even someone who will just give them kids?

I could write a lot more into this but i don't want to make this an essay.
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londonmyst
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Plenty of people have to make relationship compromises in order to: have access to a reasonable sized dating pool, maximise their chances of fulfilling their principal relationship ambitions and if they want to have a biological family be as proactive as possible as regards doing their best to stay one step ahead of their biological clock.
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gjd800
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it's something of a moot point because (and I feel quite vindicated in saying this) there isn't a person to have ever existed that is or was perfect
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Moonlight Rain
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Speak English
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xxx0xxxo
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Because everyone is flawed, even if a person thought they landed their 'dream partner' they'd prove themselves wrong and be disappointed with something. From there, a new 'dream partner' would probably privately form in response. The concept is illusory but i think we have it for a reason. Maybe a coping mechanism.
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Mr T 999
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I do think most people just settle for what ever is available and they may not be as compatible, probably explains why so many are getting divorced nowadays.
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Zarek
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I think most people find someone they are perfectly happy with. Part of a deepening attraction is also that someone loves you back. Sure everyone may fancy the most attractive people but it’s not such an issue when they are unattainable
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Have you ever realised that the majority of people are not actually dating there "preferred partner" but are actually just dating the best they can get?


If you offered a girl/boy a chance to switch there partner for a "dream" partner (someone who is 10/10 attractive and 10/10 personality). How many people would actually stay with there partner?

So the ultimate question , are most people dating/marrying purely because they found there "dream partner" or simply just because they found someone who is "just good enough" or even someone who will just give them kids?

I could write a lot more into this but i don't want to make this an essay.
Let me put it this way.

I drive a 12 year old Volvo diesel. I know it's not the prettiest car. Nor the fastest. Nor the most economical. Nor the biggest. Nor the best tech.

Although it is - possibly - the joint most comfortable. And it's not too bad on the speed, economy, reliability, practicality, versatility front.

And so therefore I'm happy enough with my car that I intend running it, till it goes BER (Beyond Economical Repair). And I have no desire nor jealousy to own any other car.

Ferraris are great cars. But one wouldn't be for me. Not even if I had £100 million in the bank. Too many stops to pump it full of fuel, too unreliable, too lacking in versatiltiy.

There are lots of Joint Best Boyfriends or Girlfriends in the World. Just as there are lots of Joint Best Cars in the World.

Ferraris are the sort of cars that teenagers lust after.
12 year old Volvo diesels are the sort of cars that mature petrol heads live with and appreciate.

Pin up models are the sort of women that teenagers lust after.
There's a wide range of men and women that can be happily lived with.

It's also a case of: how long do you spend searching for your ideal partner?
And when do you say to yourself "I've found one good enough for me to be content with till death does us part"?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Have you ever realised that the majority of people are not actually dating there "preferred partner" but are actually just dating the best they can get?


If you offered a girl/boy a chance to switch there partner for a "dream" partner (someone who is 10/10 attractive and 10/10 personality). How many people would actually stay with there partner?

So the ultimate question , are most people dating/marrying purely because they found there "dream partner" or simply just because they found someone who is "just good enough" or even someone who will just give them kids?

I could write a lot more into this but i don't want to make this an essay.
This sounds like a poem lol
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Let me put it this way.

I drive a 12 year old Volvo diesel. I know it's not the prettiest car. Nor the fastest. Nor the most economical. Nor the biggest. Nor the best tech.

Although it is - possibly - the joint most comfortable. And it's not too bad on the speed, economy, reliability, practicality, versatility front.

And so therefore I'm happy enough with my car that I intend running it, till it goes BER (Beyond Economical Repair). And I have no desire nor jealousy to own any other car.

Ferraris are great cars. But one wouldn't be for me. Not even if I had £100 million in the bank. Too many stops to pump it full of fuel, too unreliable, too lacking in versatiltiy.

There are lots of Joint Best Boyfriends or Girlfriends in the World. Just as there are lots of Joint Best Cars in the World.

Ferraris are the sort of cars that teenagers lust after.
12 year old Volvo diesels are the sort of cars that mature petrol heads live with and appreciate.

Pin up models are the sort of women that teenagers lust after.
There's a wide range of men and women that can be happily lived with.

It's also a case of: how long do you spend searching for your ideal partner?
And when do you say to yourself "I've found one good enough for me to be content with till death does us part"?
thats a good way to put it however I feel majority of people would still take a ferrari over your volvo lol but I do understand your logic
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by xxx0xxxo)
Because everyone is flawed, even if a person thought they landed their 'dream partner' they'd prove themselves wrong and be disappointed with something. From there, a new 'dream partner' would probably privately form in response. The concept is illusory but i think we have it for a reason. Maybe a coping mechanism.
although this is true to an extent , I do believe that there are some partners in this world are maybe are not perfect but are damn close but ofcourse these people are few/
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xxx0xxxo
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(Original post by Anonymous)
although this is true to an extent , I do believe that there are some partners in this world are maybe are not perfect but are damn close but ofcourse these people are few/
it's all subjective
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xxx0xxxo
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Let me put it this way.

I drive a 12 year old Volvo diesel. I know it's not the prettiest car. Nor the fastest. Nor the most economical. Nor the biggest. Nor the best tech.

Although it is - possibly - the joint most comfortable. And it's not too bad on the speed, economy, reliability, practicality, versatility front.

And so therefore I'm happy enough with my car that I intend running it, till it goes BER (Beyond Economical Repair). And I have no desire nor jealousy to own any other car.

Ferraris are great cars. But one wouldn't be for me. Not even if I had £100 million in the bank. Too many stops to pump it full of fuel, too unreliable, too lacking in versatiltiy.

There are lots of Joint Best Boyfriends or Girlfriends in the World. Just as there are lots of Joint Best Cars in the World.

Ferraris are the sort of cars that teenagers lust after.
12 year old Volvo diesels are the sort of cars that mature petrol heads live with and appreciate.

Pin up models are the sort of women that teenagers lust after.
There's a wide range of men and women that can be happily lived with.

It's also a case of: how long do you spend searching for your ideal partner?
And when do you say to yourself "I've found one good enough for me to be content with till death does us part"?
Not to mention how people change or even transform anyway!
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
thats a good way to put it however I feel majority of people would still take a ferrari over your volvo lol but I do understand your logic
The majority of Ferrari owners have at least one other car that they use as their daily driver.
But maybe that's taking the metaphor too far?

And given a choice between a fully working Ferrari of any age and a 12 year old Volvo diesel - I'd take the Ferrari. And then sell it and buy a 12 to 17 year old Volvo or BMW diesel.

I suspect that most people that have actually owned a Ferrari / Maserati / Lamborghini / Porsche / Aston Martin / TVR / Caterham would see them as "week-end" cars and not as daily drivers.
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volka
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I wouldn't date someone unless they were my "first choice" - I disagree with seeing someone just for the sake of being in a relationship.
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