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How does one keep conversation going until meeting on dating apps

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Original post by Anonymous
How do I grab their attention?


Start off by showing some genuine interest in what they've put on their profiles? Be witty? It's just the same as when you speak to people real life.

Generic "hi" and "you look good" etc. messages will get ignored if the person is juggling several conversations at once.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by SarcAndSpark
I might be wrong, but I'm going to assume you're a guy interested in women?

The thing you have to bear in mind is that a lot of women get a lot of interest on dating apps, often they will be involved in 4-5+ separate conversations at once. Unless there's something about you that makes you really stand out, your messages will often get lost in the shuffle.

The standard "Hi, how are you?" Sort of conversation potentially just isn't going to cut it. A good starter can be to try and build a connection based on things in their profile, and try to produce a deeper sort of conversation that way. Ask them open questions and pick up on things in their responses.

And, to be blunt, it helps if your profile makes you look/sound very attractive.

Thank you very much. This is the honest sort of answer I wanted to hear. Any further advice would be much appreciated. I find similar problems offline too. I can’t get their attention or keep it. Of I can, I just get friend zoned.
Original post by Trilobite.
Start off by showing some genuine interest in what they've put on their profiles? Be witty? It's just the same as when you speak to people real life.

Generic "hi" and "you look good" etc. messages will get ignored if the person is juggling several conversations at once.


I always pick something out of profile.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you very much. This is the honest sort of answer I wanted to hear. Any further advice would be much appreciated. I find similar problems offline too. I can’t get their attention or keep it. Of I can, I just get friend zoned.

Ok, I'm going to be a bit blunt, as I think that's what you've asked for.

You can't make someone fancy you. If they don't feel the spark, they don't feel it. And I'm not sure you can easily change that.

At some point, you will meet the right person who feels something for you. But right now, it's possible your eagerness for that is perhaps putting people off a bit (yes, I know on dating apps, everyone wants the same thing). But in real life, maybe play it cool a bit more- don't push so much, and see if things evolve more organically? I'm not saying to play games/play hard to get, but just don't be pushy- be a bit more relaxed and see where things go?

On dating apps, I don't know- there are probably things you can do to make your profile seem more desirable, and obviously you want to put the effort into the conversation, but if they aren't, don't waste time on it- it is a bit of a numbers game?
Original post by SarcAndSpark
Ok, I'm going to be a bit blunt, as I think that's what you've asked for.

You can't make someone fancy you. If they don't feel the spark, they don't feel it. And I'm not sure you can easily change that.

At some point, you will meet the right person who feels something for you. But right now, it's possible your eagerness for that is perhaps putting people off a bit (yes, I know on dating apps, everyone wants the same thing). But in real life, maybe play it cool a bit more- don't push so much, and see if things evolve more organically? I'm not saying to play games/play hard to get, but just don't be pushy- be a bit more relaxed and see where things go?

On dating apps, I don't know- there are probably things you can do to make your profile seem more desirable, and obviously you want to put the effort into the conversation, but if they aren't, don't waste time on it- it is a bit of a numbers game?

To be honest, I think I have the opposite problem of being pushy. I’m quite shy and like playing it safe.
Original post by Anonymous
To be honest, I think I have the opposite problem of being pushy. I’m quite shy and like playing it safe.

Maybe people don't realise you are interested, then?

If you come across as aloof or standoffish, then this can also be off-putting. It's all about finding a middle ground.
Original post by SarcAndSpark
Maybe people don't realise you are interested, then?

If you come across as aloof or standoffish, then this can also be off-putting. It's all about finding a middle ground.

I think they don’t realise I’m interested. But by the time I make a move, it’s too late.
Reply 27
Word of advice;

Don't use dating apps.

Go outside, meet women or men in the real world. Love is not dictated through a left or right swipe.
Original post by tb117
Word of advice;

Don't use dating apps.

Go outside, meet women or men in the real world. Love is not dictated through a left or right swipe.

I get rejected or friend zoned in real life. Any advice on how to avoid this?
Reply 29
Original post by Anonymous
I get rejected or friend zoned in real life. Any advice on how to avoid this?

There isn't a one size fits all piece of advice for getting a date, because it isn't as simple as is shown in TV shows or movies. Although the best advice I can give you may seem opposite to what you want:

Stop worrying about getting a partner.

Just be relaxed and yourself around people. The less you worry about it and say to yourself "I really want a partner, God I really need someone" and the more you just relax, the more likely people will fall for you, because they're seeing who you actually are.

Of course, there will be times where you can be flirtatious, which will become obvious to you at the time, but in general, just be relaxed and get along with people as if they are your friends. That's when you'll find out you truly like someone, and they may even like you back.
Original post by tb117
There isn't a one size fits all piece of advice for getting a date, because it isn't as simple as is shown in TV shows or movies. Although the best advice I can give you may seem opposite to what you want:

Stop worrying about getting a partner.

Just be relaxed and yourself around people. The less you worry about it and say to yourself "I really want a partner, God I really need someone" and the more you just relax, the more likely people will fall for you, because they're seeing who you actually are.

Of course, there will be times where you can be flirtatious, which will become obvious to you at the time, but in general, just be relaxed and get along with people as if they are your friends. That's when you'll find out you truly like someone, and they may even like you back.

I’ve tried this as well and unfortunately, it didn’t work.
Original post by Anonymous
The conversation always dies I find. They’re always slow to reply and eventually just stop replying.



Maybe they probably don’t want to talk to you as much as you think
Original post by CaptainDuckie
Maybe they probably don’t want to talk to you as much as you think

Most don’t want to talk to me at all.
Original post by Anonymous
I’m very shy and take a long time to open up to people which doesn’t help. Any advice for meeting and connecting for shy people?


The answers in ur response, find things that build a connection eg mutaual interests. Be outgoing go out of your comfort zone. Get off of your phone or console and just talk.

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