lied to boyfriend about my age by a year

thanks for replying, the law doesn’t really matter here bc what we did wasn’t illegal, i’m 18 now so i guess legal stuff doesn’t matter anymore. he said it’s fine that i’m over 16 but preference wise he would prefer an adult bc he ain’t a creep lol. and you’re right he would be suspicious about other stuff but he wouldn’t listen, he assumed stuff a lot even when i’m not lying so i hate to see how he’d react w this. i hate myself a lot for this bc me and my bf are always honest with each other about how we’re feeling, i see an amazing future with him but i would hate to lose that over some stupid lie

Think about what will happen if this relationship becomes more serious. He's going to see your university ID, your drivers license, your passport, etc or may be in a situation someday where he needs to give your date of birth while booking an activity for the two of you to do. You can't hide your age forever and when it comes out he is going to connect the dots that you lied to him. He'll take it better if he hears it from you directly now rather than if he finds out by seeing it written somewhere later - and the sooner you tell him the better. The longer the lie carries on the less chance there is he will forgive you.

However, don't be surprised if he doesn't take it well. He made clear that your age was a dealbreaker and lying to get around his morals was not okay. He may not trust you again after this. I'd feel disgusted with myself if I found out I had been flirting or being physical with a 17 year old, and I'd also be angry with them for lying about something they knew was important to me.

Tell him. Yes, there's a good chance this could ruin your relationship - but by not telling him you're just putting off the inevitable. He's going to find out eventually. Behave like an adult would in this scenario and be

the outcome of this makes me not wanna tell him, i remember he asked me 3 months into our relationship what was my age again bc my birthday was coming near so i don’t know if he even bothered remembering my age, i just don’t want him to leave. personally i wouldn’t leave if someone lied by a year but it would kill me if i found out about it instead of them telling me straight up. i hate that i don’t plan on telling him soon it’s too much for me i just can’t

The longer you leave it the worse it is going to be - because then he'll be seeing it not as lying for just 6 months, but 9 months, or a year, etc. There are also more chances that he is going to accidentally find out and it will look extremely bad on you if he doesn't hear it directly from you first.

You need to tell him. As soon as possible. The outcome will get worse the longer it's left. Right now you might still have a chance of salvaging this relationship. With each month that passes that chance is lowered, and the chances that he will find out another way will increase. It is also going to get harder to tell him the longer you leave it. Do both of you a favour and tell him now.

i know you're right but idk how to mentally prepare myself for a breakup, i guess i need to reap what i sow but i feel like i could wait until uni starts and then tell him then bc at least i would have other stuff to focus on like my work and im not left w the void of him not being there lol. i feel like there isnt a way to salvage this relationship at this point hence why i never told him the truth

This wouldn't be a good idea. Rather than university giving you something else to focus on, you will more likely find that the break-up will distract you from your university work and will get in the way of socialising with new people. If this is going to result in a break-up then it's better to do it now and give yourself the next month or so heal before starting the next chapter of your life.

Personally, I think you should tell him the excuse you said on here.

very true, but i have no idea what to do for the rest of the summer, i wanted this summer to be with him but this lie is getting in the way idk what to do, im scared if being alone lol

is it a decent excuse? like would you believe that?