The Student Room Group

creepy guy advice

hi everyone! so right now i’m in uni and there is this guy who i was helping so he could pass his exam like just to be nice. But now i have noticed som creep vibes lol because first of all he is 30 years old and im only 19 and he has said some weird things like if you help me with this i can take you out to dinner and so fort like multiple times and googled my name and asking me about stuff he found on google . Like i obviously don’t want to date the guy but i don’t want to be rude either and he keeps messaging me before every test. what should i do? i thought he was nice at first and i thought maybe we could be friends or something but not anymore. should i ignore him totally or just say something, what?. also i’ve never even met the guy because of online school and it would be so awkward to meet irl in autumm, we are not in the same class but have some similar classes...
Block him, he will get the message
Or just mention 'my boyfriend' a few times, whether you have one or not, and hopefully he'll get the hint.
Taking you out for a dinner doesn't mean he wants to date or **** you...thats just you assuming as he could just be nice? whats he meant to say if you help me with this i'll buy you a coffee for helping him pass i'm guessing a hard asf test at uni or else you wouldn't need to help him? the google thing i don't understand like he's googling your name and asking you stuff? sounds like you reached out and helped him now he's trying to show he's grateful but lets say he got the wrong message and fancies you the worst thing to do is block him if he goes your uni? just do what the person said above and mention you have a bf or dating someone.

Don't get me wrong there is a lot of creeps but not everyone is...
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by Nick6501
Taking you out for a dinner doesn't mean he wants to date or **** you...thats just you assuming as he could just be nice? whats he meant to say if you help me with this i'll buy you a coffee for helping him pass i'm guessing a hard asf test at uni or else you wouldn't need to help him? the google thing i don't understand like he's googling your name and asking you stuff? sounds like you reached out and helped him now he's trying to show he's grateful but lets say he got the wrong message and fancies you the worst thing to do is block him if he goes your uni? just do what the person said above and mention you have a bf or dating someone.

Don't get me wrong there is a lot of creeps but not everyone is...

Saying he will buy her coffee sounds 50% less creepy...

I'm not sure why you are so hard on anon but I definitely would be a bit uncomfortable too. He should probably attempt to find another study partner that isn't 11 years younger than him. Don't you find it weird that he's only relying on her, surely there's other mature students there to have dinner with
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:

Best to let him know that you are very busy with your own assignments/job/bf and won't have much time available to be able to offer him much academic help or meet him for coffee.
Make your replies very short maximum of 2 sentences and wait 48- 72 hours before responding to his messages, hopefully he will get the message and move on.
Then gradually end all communication with him, calmly and politely.
Good luck!
Original post by mspaghetti
Saying he will buy her coffee sounds 50% less creepy...

I'm not sure why you are so hard on anon but I definitely would be a bit uncomfortable too. He should probably attempt to find another study partner that isn't 11 years younger than him. Don't you find it weird that he's only relying on her, surely there's other mature students there to have dinner with

My point is with the sounds of it she's literally stopped him failing university and helped him while having to do her own exams too?...so why wouldn't you expect someone to show their gratitude and buy them something actually decent? i know if someone helped me pass uni i would offer to buy them something too instead of just 'thanks' since when does offering to buy someone something been classed as creepy? all i'm saying is not everyone is a creep trying to sleep/date you....plus this "creep" must of made quite the impression for her to do her own exams while also helping some "random 30 year old creep" with his to make sure he passes? little extreme isn't it? " Don't you find it weird that he's only relying on her" with sounds of it she reached out to him? i dont think he's going around his uni asking people to help him with exams...isn't like you're allowed to cheat on exams last time i checked anyways.

I'm defending him because i'm a guy and see nothing really wrong to make me think WOW CREEP! i'm just going off what she said and i honestly think she's just thinking too much into it...if you get creep vibes then just stop talking to him and maybe next time some "30 year old creep" reaches out for help with an exam say no...don't say yes then call him a creep for offering something to say thanks but maybe she's right and he is thinking about asking her out or something she can still just say no or make up she has a bf? also depends on the dinner like that could mean anything....a classy restaurant meal then maybe some red flags yes.
(edited 2 years ago)
If it's exam time for you you can ignore or severely delay responses and then be very short, saying you need to focus and are too busy to chat or be distracted. If he harasses you you can say 'i think you got the wrong idea when i helped you before...etc... good luck with the rest of your studies.'
then feel free too block. it should be awkward for him not you, he is the 30 year old who is being pushed away. you can be blunt
Original post by Nick6501
My point is with the sounds of it she's literally stopped him failing university and helped him while having to do her own exams too?...so why wouldn't you expect someone to show their gratitude and buy them something actually decent? i know if someone helped me pass uni i would offer to buy them something too instead of just 'thanks' since when does offering to buy someone something been classed as creepy? all i'm saying is not everyone is a creep trying to sleep/date you....plus this "creep" must of made quite the impression for her to do her own exams while also helping some "random 30 year old creep" with his to make sure he passes? little extreme isn't it? " Don't you find it weird that he's only relying on her" with sounds of it she reached out to him? i dont think he's going around his uni asking people to help him with exams...isn't like you're allowed to cheat on exams last time i checked anyways.

I'm defending him because i'm a guy and see nothing really wrong to make me think WOW CREEP! i'm just going off what she said and i honestly think she's just thinking too much into it...if you get creep vibes then just stop talking to him and maybe next time some "30 year old creep" reaches out for help with an exam say no...don't say yes then call him a creep for offering something to say thanks but maybe she's right and he is thinking about asking her out or something she can still just say no or make up she has a bf? also depends on the dinner like that could mean anything....a classy restaurant meal then maybe some red flags yes.

Oh ok, what you've said definitely makes sense. From my perspective, it was a bit unclear that OP reached out to him first since shes so weary of him
Reply 9
he literally just told me that he had googled me and asked if i was into cycling because that’s what came up on google lol
Good point, and this would put him in creepy mode.
Original post by Anonymous
he literally just told me that he had googled me and asked if i was into cycling because that’s what came up on google lol

Googling others happens if you are interested in a relationship. I wouldn't google a study buddy.
You have to remember he’s 30 and you’re 19, it’s not going to be as easy as just “blocking” him because it could potentially lead more dangerous and he may end up stalking, never know what he’s capable of. Let it off easy and say you’re not interested and if he doesn’t take it well, get your friends involved so he doesn’t try anything
Original post by mason.taylor.16
You have to remember he’s 30 and you’re 19, it’s not going to be as easy as just “blocking” him because it could potentially lead more dangerous and he may end up stalking, never know what he’s capable of. Let it off easy and say you’re not interested and if he doesn’t take it well, get your friends involved so he doesn’t try anything

Good and practical safety measures here.
He's not creepy I think you are overreacting
he probably just fancies you because you helped him why wouldn't you date him because he is too old or because you just don't like him in that way. Maybe just slip in that you have a boyfriend or something.
thanks everyone for answering, yeah i think i overreacted a bit lol he was probably just trying to be nice, it just freaked me out because he was a lot older and stuff. like being a women and all u just have to be more careful i guess. but i’m just gonna tell him that i don’t really have time to help him which is true so it shouldn’t be a problem.

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