Today i found out my brother is colorist.

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AmIReallyHere
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Elize W)
Have o missed sth about him hating black girls? I thought he doesnt find them attractive
(Original post by Anonymous)
Was scrolling through tiktok and showing him a bunch of girls, then he said "if they black asf it's an automatic pass" He then went on a rant on how he only finds brownskins or lightskins attractive, and that he would only take on a darkskin if held at gunpoint, said he would rather be single than ever consider a darksin. He is black himself. What do i do? He is younger than me
This is belittling dark skn, and just continues a culture of black people wanting lighter skin (mainly due to white beauty standards)
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Elize W
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#22
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#22
(Original post by AmIReallyHere)
This is belittling dark skn, and just continues a culture of black people wanting lighter skin (mainly due to white beauty standards)
Ohh so you just dont want him to be rude about it? Am i getting it right?
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bethwantsdeath
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Elize W)
I mean the way he said it could be considered rude but the preferance itself is normal. If lets say i prefer guys of similar hight or a bit taller saying i would only touch a short guy if held at a gunpoint would be rude of me but that doesnt make any of my preferences wrong.
of course, there’s nothing wrong with the preference. the problem is with the horrible and unnecessary comments he made which i think OP needs to address with him. he probably won’t listen or care but it’s worth a try.
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AmIReallyHere
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#24
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#24
(Original post by Elize W)
Ohh so you just dont want him to be rude about it? Am i getting it right?
Yeah that's the main issue, if you prefers lighterskin fine I guess, still kind of ties into said culture but its more the being held at gunpoint comment
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Elize W
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#25
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#25
(Original post by AmIReallyHere)
Yeah that's the main issue, if you prefers lighterskin fine I guess, still kind of ties into said culture but its more the being held at gunpoint comment
I mean he didnt say it rejecting anyone in which case it would defienetly be very rude... (still it was probably unnecessary but doesnt sound nearly as bad in the given context) and it doesnt have anything to do with racism or any culture
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AmIReallyHere
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#26
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#26
(Original post by Elize W)
I mean he didnt say it rejecting anyone in which case it would defienetly be very rude... (still it was probably unnecessary but doesnt sound nearly as bad in the given context) and it doesnt have anything to do with racism or any culture
Yes it does

As I said above, black people have always beenn made to feel as if lightskin is the best (I can name quite a few examples) - I am in Africa right now (usually in the UK) and I have seen a skin bleaching clinic... colorism is a serious issue among many different communities

An old rhyme:

If you is white, you’s alright,

if you’s brown, stick around,

but if you’s black, hmm, hmm, brother,

get back, get back, get back.
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Elize W
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#27
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#27
(Original post by AmIReallyHere)
Yes it does

As I said above, black people have always been made to feel as if lightskin is the best
The best in what way? Attractive? It could be true that more people find light skin attractive than black skin. I dont know if that is true but if i had to guess i would say it probably is. If you have an issue with that it is kinda a you problem. Some features are on average more attractive than others as simple as that
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AmIReallyHere
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#28
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#28
(Original post by Elize W)
The best in what way? Attractive? It could be true that more people find light skin attractive than black skin. I dont know if that is true but if i had to guess i would say it probably is. If you have an issue with that it is kinda a you problem. Some features are on average more attractive than others as simple as that
The best generally, which leads to people wanting to damage their skin and bleach it to get lighter skin -

Also they are only more attractive because of Euro-centric beauty standards, simple as that

and white girls want darker skin so its obviously an issue with society itself :dontknow:

I can give you multiple articles on colourism if needed
Last edited by AmIReallyHere; 2 months ago
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Anonymous #2
#29
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#29
(Original post by ANM775)
it's pretty normal.. a lot of black men think like that
It shouldn't be normal tho that's the issue
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Elize W
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#30
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#30
(Original post by AmIReallyHere)
The best generally, which leads to people wanting to damage their skin and bleach it to get lighter skin -

Also they are only more attractive because of Euro-centric beauty standards, simple as that

and white girls want darker skin so its obviously an issue with society itself :dontknow:

I can give you multiple articles on colourism if needed
Wth attraction isnt about what somebody else tells you to like ("Euro-centric beauty standards"). It is about what you like (and obviously some features are on average more attractive than others). And it seems like what you are suggesting is telling people to like diffrent things than they already do because by your standards it is unfair or sth. People may think sth is more attractive and wish to change it about themselfs as you mentioned but it is a completly separated matter from someone liking a particular feature or not. There is nothing wrong about liking or not liking sth it is how that person feels about it.
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Elize W
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Anonymous)
It shouldn't be normal tho that's the issue
Why not? Attraction is selective that is the point of attraction.
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Old Skool Freak
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Elize W)
The best in what way? Attractive? It could be true that more people find light skin attractive than black skin. I dont know if that is true but if i had to guess i would say it probably is. If you have an issue with that it is kinda a you problem. Some features are on average more attractive than others as simple as that
I know this thread is a couple of months old, but I felt I had to respond to these, as I feel Elize W really isn't getting it.

This isn't just about preferences, as you seem to interpret it as; these are based in deep routed prejudices within black communities with regards to dark skin. As a dark-skinned black male myself, I can tell you at school I've had endless years of stick as a result of it... to the extent I can say I hated my skin colour, and TBH, if I had knowledge / access to some bleaching products, I may well have considered using it. And you seldom hear any comments from whites about this (apart from maybe a when I first meet them), but it's always from other black people. It wasn't until I got to Uni, when I learnt to love my "jet black skin".

AmIReallyHeare hits the nail on the head with his posts. I mean, it was bad enough for me being a guy... I can only imagine it's 10 times worse for dark-skinned girls / women. Occasionally, you'll see them posting on here about their insecurities and how upset it makes them, so these prejudices are very real and very toxic... it's just not talked about very openly, unlike racism in general. Honestly, as black people we can really be our own worst enemy at times.

(Original post by Elize W)
I mean he didnt say it rejecting anyone in which case it would defienetly be very rude... (still it was probably unnecessary but doesnt sound nearly as bad in the given context) and it doesnt have anything to do with racism or any culture
You'll be surprised, at the open name calling... I think it was Leigh Anne Pinnock's boyfriend who was really rude about dark-skinned girls on his Twitter feed once. Plus there are several other black high profile people who've said similar things.

As said earlier on in the thread, it's one thing to have a preference, it's completely different to completely trash someone who doesn't fit the bill.
Last edited by Old Skool Freak; 1 week ago
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AmIReallyHere
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#33
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#33
(Original post by Old Skool Freak)
I know this thread is a couple of months old, but I felt I had to respond to these, as I feel Elize W really isn't getting it.

This isn't just about preferences, as you seem to interpret it as; these are based in deep routed prejudices within black communities with regards to dark skin. As a dark-skinned black male myself, I can tell you at school I've had endless years of stick as a result of it... to the extent I can say I hated my skin colour, and TBH, if I had knowledge / access to some bleaching products, I may well have considered using it. And you seldom hear any comments from whites about this (apart from maybe a when I first meet them), but it's always from other black people. It wasn't until I got to Uni, when I learnt to love my "jet black skin".

AmIReallyHeare hits the nail on the head with his posts. I mean, it was bad enough for me being a guy... I can only imagine it's 10 times worse for dark-skinned girls / women. Occasionally, you'll see them posting on here about their insecurities and how upset it makes them, so these prejudices are very real and very toxic... it's just not talked about very openly, unlike racism in general. Honestly, as black people we can really be our own worst enemy at times.



You'll be surprised, at the open name calling... I think it was Leigh Anne Pinnock's boyfriend who was really rude about dark-skinned girls on his Twitter feed once. Plus there are several other black high profile people who've said similar things.

As said earlier on in the thread, it's one thing to have a preference, it's completely different to completely trash someone who doesn't fit the bill.
I am a darkskin black male myself which may have helped but yes, I can definitely agree on it being worse for girls/women
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Napp
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#34
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#34
Nothing its absolutely none of your business who he's attracted to.
He could certainly express his preferences with a bit more finesse but theres nothing wrong with not being attracted to people who're particularly dark skinned, even though it is a touch odd to generlise them all as out of the question but nevertheless.
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Napp
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#35
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#35
(Original post by Anonymous)
It shouldn't be normal tho that's the issue
Why not? Theres nothing wrong with not being attracted to/being attracted to certain characteristics. The thing that isnt normal is ordering someone to find someone attractive for no other reason than 'thats mean'
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londonmyst
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#36
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#36
(Original post by Old Skool Freak)
I know this thread is a couple of months old, but I felt I had to respond to these, as I feel Elize W really isn't getting it.

This isn't just about preferences, as you seem to interpret it as; these are based in deep routed prejudices within black communities with regards to dark skin. As a dark-skinned black male myself, I can tell you at school I've had endless years of stick as a result of it... to the extent I can say I hated my skin colour, and TBH, if I had knowledge / access to some bleaching products, I may well have considered using it. And you seldom hear any comments from whites about this (apart from maybe a when I first meet them), but it's always from other black people. It wasn't until I got to Uni, when I learnt to love my "jet black skin".

AmIReallyHeare hits the nail on the head with his posts. I mean, it was bad enough for me being a guy... I can only imagine it's 10 times worse for dark-skinned girls / women. Occasionally, you'll see them posting on here about their insecurities and how upset it makes them, so these prejudices are very real and very toxic... it's just not talked about very openly, unlike racism in general. Honestly, as black people we can really be our own worst enemy at times.

You'll be surprised, at the open name calling... I think it was Leigh Anne Pinnock's boyfriend who was really rude about dark-skinned girls on his Twitter feed once. Plus there are several other black high profile people who've said similar things.

As said earlier on in the thread, it's one thing to have a preference, it's completely different to completely trash someone who doesn't fit the bill.
Do you think that within the african continent it is most connected to personal appearance preferences like guys wanting to be tall, perceptions connected with health, tribalism, snobbery connected with wealth or high class status, sexual attraction or something else? :confused:
In japan and some parts of korea, the palest skin tones have been connected with family wealth & social status since the 8th century and this seems to be embedded within the highest levels of their societal beauty standards too.
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Anonymous #3
#37
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#37
(Original post by Elize W)
Have o missed sth about him hating black girls? I thought he doesnt find them attractive
you have to think why they don't find them attractive in the first place. that's the issue. maybe he can't do anything about it but one should be educated on how society can shape this 'preference'.
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Satori Tendō
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#38
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#38
I'm sure it's not just the brother, black girls put themselves down or those darker than them. A woman's harshest critic is usually other women tbh of what I've experienced. They really value being closer to western or white beauty and that's where the colourism or being ashamed of their African features comes from.

I think that we black people ourselves forget that, we are a whole race of people from different areas of the world. We came in all shapes sizes colours features etc...We shouldn't shame each other for our differences (he can have a preference but he doesn't need to belittle dark skin)
When I was a kid, other black girls would touch and discuss my hair, questioning why it was 'softer' than theirs when I wasn't mixed raced, then they would talk trash about their hair. It made me feel like I wasn't African or black enough despite it being a perfectly possible difference within a race.

We need to be educated from a young age not to compare and drag ourselves down amongst each other, whether it comes to romantic preferences or any other aspect.
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Old Skool Freak
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#39
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#39
(Original post by ANM775)
it's pretty normal.. a lot of black men think like that
(Original post by Anonymous)
It shouldn't be normal tho that's the issue
(Original post by Napp)
Why not? Theres nothing wrong with not being attracted to/being attracted to certain characteristics. The thing that isnt normal is ordering someone to find someone attractive for no other reason than 'thats mean'
Napp again, you're missing the main point of the post.

The OP's brother is free to fancy whoever he wants, and call it his "preferences" (or whatever the **** you want to call it). The problem here is the derogatory manner in which he (and a lot of other people) refer to dark-skinned black people... and TBH, his language is quite typical; in fact, that's one of the "nicer" examples I've seen. The fact that the OP has said "Although im lightskin, i just feel sad for my darkskin sisters" should tell you that this is something that stems beyond her brother's "preferences".

For example, I know not every white person is a fan of dark coffee, but the vast majority of them will at least try and be nice / tactful about it (apart from those who are actually racist obviously). The problem within the black community is that it's supposedly openly accepted to be rude and about dark-skinned people. I guess the closest white equivalent is that some people think it's OK to take the mick out of Ginger / red-head people.
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Old Skool Freak
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#40
(Original post by londonmyst)
Do you think that within the african continent it is most connected to personal appearance preferences like guys wanting to be tall, perceptions connected with health, tribalism, snobbery connected with wealth or high class status, sexual attraction or something else? :confused:
In japan and some parts of korea, the palest skin tones have been connected with family wealth & social status since the 8th century and this seems to be embedded within the highest levels of their societal beauty standards too.
I think it may well be. In sub-Saharan Africa, there is a lot of "White-Worship", especially in the more rural parts where white people are even less common. Honestly, if you (as a white person) went to Africa, you'd be treated like a celebrity in many parts (I remember my sister's BF came with us on a family trip once, and he was completely overwhelmed by the attention he got). So I guess there is an element that if you're lighter skinned, your that bit closer to being White.

AmIReallyHere you would probably be in a better position to answer this question, seeing as you're living out there?
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