Gap Year. Question about friendships

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tetris179
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#1
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#1
This is a weird question I think but can people with gap year experience please give some advice or info on how your friendships and things lasted when you were on your gap year?

I know this is a pretty dumb question seeing as pulling a gap year is just like going to a different uni to your friends anyway. And you’ll still be separated even if you did go to uni.

But it’s more the fact that I keep picturing all my friends having fun at freshers and going out on Fridays and stuff meanwhile I’m still in my hometown with no real friends as they’re all off at uni.

It’s a pretty depressing thought for me. Have you kept in touch with them? My life just seems pretty sh** at the moment in all honesty. I wanted to leave home and was so happy to getting some independence but here I am stuck with my family for another year.

On top of that, what sort of things did you do to keep yourself busy? All I can think of is work and gym. I’m lost lol
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Lydia Taylor (YSJU Student Ambassador)
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#2
Report 9 months ago
#2
(Original post by tetris179)
This is a weird question I think but can people with gap year experience please give some advice or info on how your friendships and things lasted when you were on your gap year?

I know this is a pretty dumb question seeing as pulling a gap year is just like going to a different uni to your friends anyway. And you’ll still be separated even if you did go to uni.

But it’s more the fact that I keep picturing all my friends having fun at freshers and going out on Fridays and stuff meanwhile I’m still in my hometown with no real friends as they’re all off at uni.

It’s a pretty depressing thought for me. Have you kept in touch with them? My life just seems pretty sh** at the moment in all honesty. I wanted to leave home and was so happy to getting some independence but here I am stuck with my family for another year.

On top of that, what sort of things did you do to keep yourself busy? All I can think of is work and gym. I’m lost lol
Hello,

I took a gap year whilst all of my friends went to university so I definitely understand your anxieties, I was worried about all of these things too, it is definitely not a dumb question.

It was not as hard as I thought it would be to see them going out. I visited them a couple of times and hearing all of their stories really prepared me for what I would be in for. I found myself to be very happy for them which was nice. Then when they came home for the holidays, we were able to catch up and it was like nothing at all had changed. I did struggle a little with the fact that they could meet during my working hours, but we just did things around this too and the money was a real motivator for me.

I found relationships with people from my year who had not gone to university. It is nice to form new friends and we had something in common so it was surprisingly easy. I also did a lot with my new work friends, for example we would go out and get ice cream, I joined a fitness class with one of them and even hanging out at work was quite gratifying. Sometimes, it was nice to just relax after work as I was doing so much and I did not find I needed to do something every night.

I hope this helps,
Lydia
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tetris179
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#3
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
#3
(Original post by Lydia Taylor (YSJU Student Ambassador))
Hello,

I took a gap year whilst all of my friends went to university so I definitely understand your anxieties, I was worried about all of these things too, it is definitely not a dumb question.

It was not as hard as I thought it would be to see them going out. I visited them a couple of times and hearing all of their stories really prepared me for what I would be in for. I found myself to be very happy for them which was nice. Then when they came home for the holidays, we were able to catch up and it was like nothing at all had changed. I did struggle a little with the fact that they could meet during my working hours, but we just did things around this too and the money was a real motivator for me.

I found relationships with people from my year who had not gone to university. It is nice to form new friends and we had something in common so it was surprisingly easy. I also did a lot with my new work friends, for example we would go out and get ice cream, I joined a fitness class with one of them and even hanging out at work was quite gratifying. Sometimes, it was nice to just relax after work as I was doing so much and I did not find I needed to do something every night.

I hope this helps,
Lydia
Aww thanks for the help and advice. That sounds like it won’t be as bad as I think! Thank u sm
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Coventry University Student Ambassadors
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#4
Report 8 months ago
#4
(Original post by tetris179)
This is a weird question I think but can people with gap year experience please give some advice or info on how your friendships and things lasted when you were on your gap year?

I know this is a pretty dumb question seeing as pulling a gap year is just like going to a different uni to your friends anyway. And you’ll still be separated even if you did go to uni.

But it’s more the fact that I keep picturing all my friends having fun at freshers and going out on Fridays and stuff meanwhile I’m still in my hometown with no real friends as they’re all off at uni.

It’s a pretty depressing thought for me. Have you kept in touch with them? My life just seems pretty sh** at the moment in all honesty. I wanted to leave home and was so happy to getting some independence but here I am stuck with my family for another year.

On top of that, what sort of things did you do to keep yourself busy? All I can think of is work and gym. I’m lost lol
Hi tetris179,

Like Lydia, I also took a gap and experienced some level of anxiety around my friendships while the majority of my friends went off to uni and I remained at home.

It's not a dumb question at all and it's natural to have these thoughts because a part of you feels like you're left behind while everyone else is moving on. The reality is, you're also moving on too, you're just doing your own thing and going about things in your own way - kudos to you! It's daunting imagining your friends moving on and enjoying life without you, but the truth is they're experiencing anxiety too about making friends at uni.

I definitely noticed things I did because I was anxious about my friendships, e.g. messaging them frequently and thinking about them a lot whilst living my life. I realised that it was just a little insecurity of losing friends I cherished deeply because I thought the distance and moving on meant I wasn't going to see them much. I thought things would change and I wouldn't have those friendships anymore. It wasn't until I met up or caught up with my friends that I was just picturing the worse and I really didn't have a lot to worry about! The quality of my friendships was still there. To be honest, seeing them and hearing their stories helped prepare my journey to start uni as I was able to learn from their mistakes and took on their advice! I also managed to catch up with people from home and focused on doing things I wanted to do without the pressure of deadlines.

Also, the independence you have from doing your own thing means you learn to do things your way, pushing yourself outside your comfort zone and you're taking time out for yourself. Your friends are in the same boat, just in a uni environment! At the end of the day, it's the quality of the friendships that matter most so if you lose a friend, it's hard but it's not the end of the world when there's a life to live :london:

Enjoy your gap year and live your best life.

I hope this helps!

Veronica
Student Ambassador
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