Long Distance Partner Threatening To Hurt Me
I have a LD bf and he threatens to slap me and beat me 90% of the time while we are on call, he doesn't live that far from me about an hour or two he says things like "you better not be crying because I will slap you into next week", "if I was there I would beat the living sh*t out of you." (when I say something stupid) and "I will slap you so hard your great grandkids will feel it." and I often upset him because I say the wrong things by accident and the argument will go on for days, I have one internet friend now as he has made me stop being friends with my old friends and I am not even supposed to have this said internet friend as we had an argument over him like a few weeks ago, I want to leave him but I have like no one and he has his nice moments. He is autistic so maybe I accidently annoy him in a way I cannot understand because I am neurotypical. I have no idea at this point he could just be joking.
addition: I find it hard to drop him because of a few months ago I started to experience things like seeing faces and hearing strange noises and he believed me and no one else has so I feel like I need to cling onto him sorry for the tmi I just thought I needed to add it as it gives more info on why I have not got rid of him.
addition: I find it hard to drop him because of a few months ago I started to experience things like seeing faces and hearing strange noises and he believed me and no one else has so I feel like I need to cling onto him sorry for the tmi I just thought I needed to add it as it gives more info on why I have not got rid of him.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by afraidofspiders
I have a LD bf and he threatens to slap me and beat me 90% of the time while we are on call, he doesn't live that far from me about an hour or two he says things like "you better not be crying because I will slap you into next week", "if I was there I would beat the living sh*t out of you." (when I say something stupid) and "I will slap you so hard your great grandkids will feel it." and I often upset him because I say the wrong things by accident and the argument will go on for days, I have one internet friend now as he has made me stop being friends with my old friends and I am not even supposed to have this said internet friend as we had an argument over him like a few weeks ago, I want to leave him but I have like no one and he has his nice moments. He is autistic so maybe I accidently annoy him in a way I cannot understand because I am neurotypical. I have no idea at this point he could just be joking.
This is a dangerous toxic relationship, visible by the fact that he had manipulated you into dropping friends and feeling like you shouldn’t socialise with anyone but hime, not to mention the threat of violence. It sounds like the problem very much lies with your bf rather than with you. It’s not your job to ‘fix’ him, and his illness is no excuse for you to have to deal with his behaviour. Understand that he’s actually committing a crime by threatening you with violence (assault). These are the things that domestic violence charities and the women’s refuge deal with on a daily basis, and it can become very difficult for women to remove themselves from these relationships the deeper they get and the more control their partner has over them.
It may help to talk to one of these charities for advice:
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/gender-violence/domestic-violence-and-abuse/
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/gender-violence/domestic-violence-and-abuse-getting-help/
http://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/
http://www.refuge.org.uk/
He’s already made you feel like you have no one else in your life to turn to except himself, and excuse his violent threats for his “nice moments.” Take action now to prevent him further manipulating you - you have more control than you think over what you want from him and your relationship.
'Nice moments' do not make up.for threats of violence and controlling behaviour, and staying with someone like that for the sake of it is entirely the wrong thing to do.
End it now and block him on everything, try to reconnect with your old friends and explain what happened or make new ones. Does he know where you live? Is there family around?
End it now and block him on everything, try to reconnect with your old friends and explain what happened or make new ones. Does he know where you live? Is there family around?
Original post by Surnia
'Nice moments' do not make up.for threats of violence and controlling behaviour, and staying with someone like that for the sake of it is entirely the wrong thing to do.
End it now and block him on everything, try to reconnect with your old friends and explain what happened or make new ones. Does he know where you live? Is there family around?
End it now and block him on everything, try to reconnect with your old friends and explain what happened or make new ones. Does he know where you live? Is there family around?
He does know where I live but thankfully he cannot drive, he gets upset when someone has hurt me mentally or physically and I do not understand why he gets upset with other people being nasty towards me but he is happy to do it himself.
Original post by afraidofspiders
He does know where I live but thankfully he cannot drive, he gets upset when someone has hurt me mentally or physically and I do not understand why he gets upset with other people being nasty towards me but he is happy to do it himself.
Because he gets a kick out of having control in the relationship and wants you and your emotions to rely on him for stimulus. The idea that someone else could evoke strong emotions in you, even that of innocent friendship, is probably unbearable.
block him then. He'll be deleted from your life once you block him since he's long distance. Not like you'll bump into him while you're out and about.
Also autism doesn't make you abusive lol.
Also autism doesn't make you abusive lol.
(edited 2 years ago)
End it completely before it potentially distorts your view on men. I felt bad reading this... You deserve so much better, I say stupid things all the time too, some can't understand that.
0
That's awful, you defo should block him completely and be rid of that sort of behaviour, there's not excuse for it, and just because he is LD doesn't make it any less wrong or scary
That's awful, you defo should block him completely and be rid of that sort of behaviour, there's not excuse for it, and just because he is LD doesn't make it any less wrong or scary
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