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Anxiety about sex

I’m an 18 year old about to go into university, i havent kissed or had sex with a girl since my ex-gf and its been 2 years. Shes the only girl ive had sex with or even kissed, mainly because im very picky when it comes to girls and prefer having serious relationsips. However, now im going into uni and i want to take this opportunity to sexually explore myself and gain some experience in the bedroom. Since my relationship ive had multiple girls trying to get with me (e.g. trying to kiss/ touch me) and I normally just kind of reject them because im anxious about not being a good kisser or not being able to perform well if it goes to the bedroom (all this because my ex cheated on me which made me insecure). Now im over my ex but the insecurity and anxiety when it comes to sex kind of stuck with me and i really dont know how to handle it because i want to start having sex again in a month’s time. Any advice on this would be great, thank you.
Original post by Anonymous
I’m an 18 year old about to go into university, i havent kissed or had sex with a girl since my ex-gf and its been 2 years. Shes the only girl ive had sex with or even kissed, mainly because im very picky when it comes to girls and prefer having serious relationsips. However, now im going into uni and i want to take this opportunity to sexually explore myself and gain some experience in the bedroom. Since my relationship ive had multiple girls trying to get with me (e.g. trying to kiss/ touch me) and I normally just kind of reject them because im anxious about not being a good kisser or not being able to perform well if it goes to the bedroom (all this because my ex cheated on me which made me insecure). Now im over my ex but the insecurity and anxiety when it comes to sex kind of stuck with me and i really dont know how to handle it because i want to start having sex again in a month’s time. Any advice on this would be great, thank you.

Relax, your worst enemy is getting inside of your own head.
Your ex cheating on you says nothing about you, it's purely their issue and there is never any excuse for cheating in my opinion.

Take things at your own pace, you don't have to jump right into having sex if you feel you're not quite ready. Just because you meet someone and it's going great doesn't mean you need to sleep with them that night, or even do anything at all.
Original post by Anonymous
I’m an 18 year old about to go into university, i havent kissed or had sex with a girl since my ex-gf and its been 2 years. Shes the only girl ive had sex with or even kissed, mainly because im very picky when it comes to girls and prefer having serious relationsips. However, now im going into uni and i want to take this opportunity to sexually explore myself and gain some experience in the bedroom. Since my relationship ive had multiple girls trying to get with me (e.g. trying to kiss/ touch me) and I normally just kind of reject them because im anxious about not being a good kisser or not being able to perform well if it goes to the bedroom (all this because my ex cheated on me which made me insecure). Now im over my ex but the insecurity and anxiety when it comes to sex kind of stuck with me and i really dont know how to handle it because i want to start having sex again in a month’s time. Any advice on this would be great, thank you.

The advice above is good - try and take it easy and focus on the moment. It could be worth looking into some online meditation and CBT tips for this as well?

Ultimately if this is so bad that it's stopping you having sex, may be worth seeing a GP?

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