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Should I tell him?

My boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me a month ago and it has completely messed me up. it was completely out of the blue and it was because he didnt see a future for us and he didnt want to carry on when he knew it wouldnt last cuz he didnt want to hurt me (even though he said he loves the time he spends with me) he also only got to see me once a week and he said i deserved more than that and he was also feeling a bit confused about what to do with his life and said he just wanted some space for a while to sort things out but would like to be friends when after a while so i guess i could understand that. We were so good together and so i still thought that maybe in a few months we would end up back together.

But i sent him an email the other week asking him how he was, what hes been up to and how his new job was going, and he didnt reply til a week later when he just said he was "fine thanks, u?" thats it. so short, no details or anything. it was so different to what he used to be like.

I felt really down before any of this happened (i dont know why really, was nothing to do with him tho, he made my life worth living, sounds lame i know but he really did and he went through a rough patch a while ago and said that i was his reason for not doing something stupid, we really meant the world to each other) and so now iv just been feeling even worse, i go through stages of over eating then not eating anything, not sleeping properly, crying all the time, having no interest in anything anymore, and just feeling generally rubbish.

He was my best friend, yeh i have loads of other friends but no real close friends i could talk to about this, and i dont have a good relationship with my mum so talking to her isnt an option, he was the one person i could talk to about anything. I still love him to pieces, even though he has hurt me i stil think that we would be good together.

i really miss him as a friend more than anything else and i need him more than ever.

so basically do i ask him to meet up with me and help me by just listening to how i feel and try to be friends, or do i just wait til this feeling might get bearable and dont get in contact with him?

any other thoughts on this are greatly appreciated.

thanks.

Reply 1

MrsIpod

Aww poor you! You shouldn't contact him, give him some space, if you contacts you...great :biggrin:

If he doesn't, it will get better :smile:

Good luck!

x

Reply 2

wholenewworld

8

Poor you

Maybe it is time to move on. What you had in the past was perfect, but that doesn't mean that it was going to be so in the future. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

Look at this website:
http://www.couplescompany.com/FEATURES/Grief/default.htm

It does say give him space, I'd just follow what it says, and wait for him to make a move. If he doesn't then that's it.

Remember it's better to have loved than not to have loved at all.

Reply 3

albertb

6

Felt like resurrecting and old thread randomly.
Don't judge me.

Reply 4

trooper6

6

Original post by Anonymous

so basically do i ask him to meet up with me and help me by just listening to how i feel and try to be friends, or do i just wait til this feeling might get bearable and dont get in contact with him?

any other thoughts on this are greatly appreciated.

thanks.

Don’t mean to sound mean but in his own way he is trying to be very nice and polite with you.

As difficult as it may seem the right thing for you to do is move on.

Best wishes,

Reply 5

SugarPuffs

5

Just tell him how upset you are over him not being around as much for you anymore. At least then you should get a proper answer and you'll feel better for doing it. It might make you feel pathetic but you should feel happier after telling him your true feelings.

Reply 6

username451311

0

12

Maybe he had a late/short reply because he's busy? Like you said, he has a new job etc.
I think you should tell him how you feel, 'cos then he knows but ultimately give him some space. That is why you broke up, right? He'll talk to you when he's ready. The more you push him, the farer he'll run so it's best just to say your piece and then leave him be 'til he feels it's time to come back to you or go his separate way. Yeah, you may have been great together but relationships fall apart for all sorts of different reasons and if he does decide to go it alone at least you know how you should be treated for future boyfriends and the time you had together, memories etc were great! Good luck, hope everything works out for you :smile:

Reply 7

mew_156

8

Original post by Anonymous

My boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me a month ago and it has completely messed me up. it was completely out of the blue and it was because he didnt see a future for us and he didnt want to carry on when he knew it wouldnt last cuz he didnt want to hurt me (even though he said he loves the time he spends with me) he also only got to see me once a week and he said i deserved more than that and he was also feeling a bit confused about what to do with his life and said he just wanted some space for a while to sort things out but would like to be friends when after a while so i guess i could understand that. We were so good together and so i still thought that maybe in a few months we would end up back together.

But i sent him an email the other week asking him how he was, what hes been up to and how his new job was going, and he didnt reply til a week later when he just said he was "fine thanks, u?" thats it. so short, no details or anything. it was so different to what he used to be like.

I felt really down before any of this happened (i dont know why really, was nothing to do with him tho, he made my life worth living, sounds lame i know but he really did and he went through a rough patch a while ago and said that i was his reason for not doing something stupid, we really meant the world to each other) and so now iv just been feeling even worse, i go through stages of over eating then not eating anything, not sleeping properly, crying all the time, having no interest in anything anymore, and just feeling generally rubbish.

He was my best friend, yeh i have loads of other friends but no real close friends i could talk to about this, and i dont have a good relationship with my mum so talking to her isnt an option, he was the one person i could talk to about anything. I still love him to pieces, even though he has hurt me i stil think that we would be good together.

i really miss him as a friend more than anything else and i need him more than ever.

so basically do i ask him to meet up with me and help me by just listening to how i feel and try to be friends, or do i just wait til this feeling might get bearable and dont get in contact with him?

any other thoughts on this are greatly appreciated.

thanks.

I kinda know how you feel on this one. But he evidently doesn't feel the same way as you do, so chances are, you won't get back together...but you can't be frends yet, as it just wouldn't be fair. I learned the hard way with trying to be friends with an ex you still have feelings for. It just doesn't work. You need the time to focus on yourself and move on. It is possible. whatever you do, don't go begging or asking to get back together. The worst thing to do is to show desperation.

I wouldnt meet up with him. Your expectations probably won't match up to the real life situation, and it'll leave you feeling worse. Things will get better though, even though right now it seems impossible. Time really is the best healer.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 8

TwinkleToes92

After three years I'm sure she's moved on. :rofl:

Should I tell him?

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