Feedback on LNAT essay

Watch this thread
aaanonymousss
Badges: 9
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#1
Report Thread starter 8 months ago
#1
Hi! Does anyone mind giving me feedback on this practice LNAT essay that I've done? This is my first attempt and I've done it under exam conditions.

Should people accused of a criminal offence retain anonymity?

People accused of a criminal offence should not retain anonymity. In this essay, it will be assumed that because the person is "accused", they are not yet found to be guilty or innocent.

Some may argue that because a person accused of a criminal offence has not been found guilty yet, it is unfair to tarnish their reputation and therefore we must retain their anonymity until they are found guilty. This is particularly true if the person is accused of a petty criminal offence such as theft, since rehabilitation may be easier for them if they are anonymous as they do not have to face further shame and taunts from society, for example. However, in many cases, it is important to know if there are any criminal offences a person is accused of. Suppose a person accused of distributing child pornography is applying for the job of a teacher at a primary school. It is in the best interests of the school staff and particularly of the children to stay away from until and only if the person accused is found to be innocent. Additionally, in many circumstances, a person who is accused of a serious criminal offence like the distribution of child pornography is likely to have committed other serious related crimes - after all, it is extremely unlikely that a person will be randomly accused of distributing child pornography without any evidence, even if it may not be 'hard evidence'.

Others may argue that people accused of a criminal offence should retain anonymity for their own safety. If other people come to know what a person has been accused of, and if it is very serious, the person accused may be in danger of getting beaten up, for example. This is clearly unacceptable if the person accused is actually innocent of the crime. However, the safety of society is more important than the safety of the accused person. If a person is accused of terrorism, it is important that they are kept away from society as they are likely to pose harm to others until they are proven to be innocent unanimously. By knowing if a person if accused of terrorism, we as a society are able to keep ourselves safe by taking precautions, for example, by informing authorities of any suspicious activity they are engaged in.

The only time people accused of a criminal offence should retain anonymity is when the person accused of the criminal offence is under 18, i.e. a minor. This is because minors are especially vulnerable and so it is important that their identity is protected, at least until they are proven guilty. A minor who is wrongfully accused a criminal offence is likely to suffer more harm than an adult who is wrongfully accused a criminal offence because the minor has their whole life ahead of them, and the accusation is likely to almost bar any opportunities for them. This is not the case for an adult as they are already likely to have a career for example, and after they are found innocent, they could go back to their job (unless they have been accused of an extremely serious crime).

In conclusion, although minors accused of a criminal offence should retain anonymity as they are particularly vulnerable, adults should not. They pose harm to society, especially they are accused a serious criminal offence, and it is imperative to know what they are accused of in certain circumstances, for example, when applying for the job of a teacher.
Last edited by aaanonymousss; 8 months ago
0
reply
Reality Check
Badges: 22
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 8 months ago
#2
(Original post by aaanonymousss)
Hi! Does anyone mind giving me feedback on this practice LNAT essay that I've done? This is my first attempt and I've done it under exam conditions.
Frankly, this is absolutely terrible - it's one of the worst LNAT practice essays I've read, and not just because of the usual culprits of poor language skills, poor analysis, lack of persuasiveness or inability to marshal a coherent argument. No, the overwhelming problem here is the 'argument' which you have attempted to assemble, which is full of such ridiculousness, such badly-thought through, strange ideas that it would call into question your suitability to study law in the first place!

I've spent some time annotating this for you.


Should people accused of a criminal offence retain anonymity?

People accused of a criminal offence should not retain anonymity. In this essay, it will be assumed that because the person is "accused", they are not yet found to be guilty or innocent.erm, that's what 'accused' means..

Some may argue that because a person accused of a criminal offence has not been found guilty yet, it is unfair to tarnish their reputation and therefore we must retain their anonymity until they are found guilty. This is particularly true if the person is accused of a petty criminal offence such as theft, since rehabilitation may be easier for them if they are anonymous as they do not have to face further shame and taunts from society, for example. surely it's more important for those accused of serious crimes to have their anonymity protected...However, in many cases, it is important to know if there are any criminal offences a person is accused of. Why?Suppose a person accused of distributing child pornography is applying for the job of a teacher at a primary school. It is in the best interests of the school staff and particularly of the children to stay away from until and only if the person accused is found to be innocent. Additionally, in many circumstances, a person who is accused of a serious criminal offence like the distribution of child pornography is likely to have committed other serious related crimes If I accuse you of being a rapist, does that mean it's 'its' likely that you've committed sexual offences in the past - after all, it is extremely unlikely that a person will be randomly accused of distributing child pornography without any evidence, even if it may not be 'hard evidence'.Why?

In summary, this paragraph seems to clearly demonstrate that you have no understanding of the phrase 'innocent until proven guilty', and you seem to think that accusations are equivalent to proof of guilt, both present and past. To suggest this is a bit problematic is an understatement.

Others may argue that people accused of a criminal offence should retain anonymity for their own safety. If other people come to know what a person has been accused of, and if it is very serious, the person accused may be in danger of getting beaten up, for example. This is clearly unacceptable if the person accused is actually innocent of the crime. However, the safety of society is more important than the safety of the accused person.Really? Is it that simple - society is more 'important' than individual? How about the idea of balancing competing interests? If a person is accused of terrorism, it is important that they are kept away from society as they are likely again, you are making these silly links where someone who is accused of doing something 'probably has' to pose harm to others until they are proven to be innocent unanimously. By knowing if a person if accused of terrorism, we as a society are able to keep ourselves safe by taking precautions, for example, by informing authorities of any suspicious activity they are engaged in.

The only time people accused of a criminal offence should retain anonymity is when the person accused of the criminal offence is under 18, i.e. a minor. This is because minors are especially vulnerable To what? How? and so it is important that their identity is protected, at least until they are proven guilty. A minor who is wrongfully accused a criminal offence is likely to suffer more harm than an adult who is wrongfully accused a criminal offence because the minor has their whole life ahead of them, and the accusation is likely to almost bar any opportunities for them. This is not the case for an adult as they are already likely to have a career for example, and after they are found innocent, they could go back to their job (unless they have been accused of an extremely serious crime).This, frankly, is completely bizarre. An adult has 'already had a career' so any harm they might suffer is less than a child, because they've not yet had their career :facepalm:

In conclusion, although minors accused of a criminal offence should retain anonymity as they are particularly vulnerable, adults should not. They pose harm to society, especially they are accused a serious criminal offence, and it is imperative to know what they are accused of in certain circumstances, for example, when applying for the job of a teacher. This could have been lifted, verbatim, from The Daily Express. The whole essay lacks any sort of understanding of the subject, nuance, analysis or insight.



I think there's two options here:

1) Do you really think studying law is the right thing for you? Based on this insight into your mind, you've got some very funny ideas about things and, frankly, I think you might struggle with studying it.

2) Don't choose LNAT essay topics about which you know absolutely nothing, or have no insight or ability to intelligently comment on. You must pick a topic which can discuss and, more importantly, construct an argument around. Note that an argument doesn't mean doing this whole 'some may argue' in one para, 'others may argue' in another and then arbitrarily picking a side in a two-sentence conclusion. 'Argument' means taking a line from the get-go, supporting it with relevant examples and illustrations, bringing in counter arguments but then showing how they are not relevant, not important or how they are somehow false in a way which strengthens your argument and ending with a punchy conclusion which makes your case, based on your preceding argument. Not being horrid, but I think you're quite a way from doing that, so start by picking questions that you can at least have a sensible stab at without writing the sort of bizarre stuff you've written here!

I'm going to tag in McGinger, as they've read a good few of these two. With any luck, they might be less brutal with you than I have.
2
reply
McGinger
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report 8 months ago
#3
I'm not going to 'read' or 'mark' any more of these essays as they are not produced under exam conditions, and any feedback I can offer is usually more about basic English skills rather than LNAT.

My advice reamains the same :

  • Look at the question. What is it really asking you to do - ie. not 'tell me everything you know about the death penalty' or whatever, but a much narrower and more specific question. Answer only the exact question asked.
  • One sentence introduction - what is the question actually asking. Briefly.
  • Show clearly that you understand that there are *two* sides to every argument - even if you do not agree with one of them,
  • One paragraph 'for'. One paragraph 'against'. That is all you will have time for.
  • Use phrases like 'One view might be that.....', 'On one hand .......on the other hand' etc.
  • Simple conclusion - you can suggest that you think one argument has more weight / validity, or that 'I think .....' - but make it very brief.
  • Don't use flowery language. Don't try and 'talk like a lawyer'. Use shorter sentances. They have more impact.
  • Under exam conditions you will probably only write about half a page of A4.
  • Leave yourself time to check your essay. Obvious, but most people don't.
  • Check your grammar and spelling carefully. It matters.
  • I'd rather read a very succinct almost bullet-point essay than badly structured waffle that goes on for miles without a full stop.
  • Please think about the reader - the easier you make it to mark the better grade you will probably get.
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Has advance information helped during your exams?

Yes (79)
66.39%
No (29)
24.37%
I didn't use it to prepare (11)
9.24%

Watched Threads

View All