I [M18] seriously think this is the worst time to date for a shy/plain looking guyWatch
Wait, was this despite satisfying Tinder's minimum quota of one extreme nostril-hair inspection followed by ten mirror-selfies with hoodie both up and down? Because if so, I'm frankly as mystified as you are.
I used to do speed dating a few years ago, I went four times in all. Out of the nearly 20 guys I only spotted one or two each time that you could say came across bad either visually or socially. I didn't of course do a hard core analysis of the guys there but I noticed that pretty much all seemed well enough dressed to me in a nice enough looking shirt, etc. When I asked my sister who had speed dated at another time she said all the guys were weird. I personally didn't see that at any of the ones I visited with the odd one or two exceptions. I personally thought most of the women were fine enough with one or two exceptions. So it kind of raises the question why most blokes get zero dates of the back of speed dating. Sure some girls may just do it for casual entertainment but I kind of get the impression that in general women tend to get certain views stuck in their mind about guys and exaggerate any minor issue.
Ofc, I can’t rely on a impressive life experience ( I’m still in high school and never dated ), but I just wanted to give my point of view.
I used to be on Instagram. Now I deleted it. Other guys were getting new followers ( especially by girls ) so it made me feel ashamed. Plus, I’ve never been the kind of guy that took photos everyday and posted them on socials. Ofc, not having an Instagram account reduces some of my possibilities to find a girl interested in me… but I wouldn’t have had any anyway. Most of my girl classmates have something like 500/1000 followers on Instagram ( some of them even 1500/2000 ), while guys only had maximum 250. I had 32.
Online dating? “Might be an option”, told myself.
Ofc, I was wrong. Online dating is a great way to find a partner ( that’s what I look for: a serious relationship ), but you got to look like a model. Literally. I don’t have high standards. Swiped right on about the half of the girls. Absolute zero. Maybe some likes, but nobody interested in having an actual conversation. Imagine a date. I’m seriously starting to think I look like an ogre ( even if i’m tall and fit ).
So, I also deleted my accounts on there.
And started asking myself “How is it possible to find a girl that is interested in me, if I got no socials and 0 success on dating apps?”
And that’s still my question. Plenty if guys who just say “approach girls randomly” but don’t notice how creepy it is. In both ways, ofc. There needs to be context, to get to know someone. But. nowadays, people have more possibilities on dating apps/instagram.
In the past you could only really attempt to connect with people you actually met. You still can.
In addition to that you can now connect in all these other ways. Or not.
Also for shy guys you can now approach people you like who you do know via social media rather than having to always do it publicly/in front of their friends. Which is good if the person you're approaching is shy as well or can't be seen dating/with people outside their culture etc. It's easier to get in contact, stay in contact and renew contact with people than ever before. People in previous generations would envy your position. Don't even get me started on parents who used to put a lock on the family phone so no one could call their daughters, even if they did fancy you got couldn't arrange a date!
Get out there, do your best and good luck. Don't look back on a wasted youth and what could have been.