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Confused about my Ex need advice please

So I’ll try to make this as short as possible or it’ll go on a while

>I was with my ex for 5 years we broke up just before COVID he didn’t really give me a reason
>during the relationship we rarely had sex and it got to a point where it felt kind awkward and forced (for me) cause he wasn’t that interested even from the beginning but he did have one kink that he asked for a LOT & even though I wasn’t comfortable I did it because I was trying to get that physical sexual intimacy we weren’t having
>previous relationships were all sex not much else

So after we broke up I live super rural and found it hard to find any1 shocking I didn’t meet any1 & I felt just like I wasn’t worth dating to any1

Fast forward 6 months ago and my ex wants to start dating me again he’s not wanted or been with any1 else and he still cares about me apparently.

Here’s my problem: he’s a great guy a perfect choice for a future husband he’s kind, secure, good family & itd kill me to see him with anyone else. Problem is I’m just not attracted to him anymore but I can’t seem to find a man who would give me the security I need as I do have some medical conditions that would mean I need that supportive man with a good ish job so I wouldn’t have to worry about us if I couldn’t put in financially due to my illness at one point but all men seem to want is one thing my ex is potentially offering more but I’m just not attracted to him.

For now I’ve said well try dating each other but openly (so we can see other people too) but I feel guilty cause I don’t want to do his kink anymore and I’m not attracted to him but he’s now wanting to sleep with me. I want the sexual part of a relationship again like I had before him but with the kindness and affection too

What should I do I’m so confused and feeling so vulnerable? Thanks for reading all this

Reply 1

1582

Volunteer Team

End the relationship.

If you're only interested in dating him again because he can offer you security then you are in this relationship for the wrong reasons. This is using someone. You both deserve to be in relationships where all of your needs are being met. Don't settle for someone because you think you can't do better. Someone else is out there who is a better fit for you than him and the same goes in reverse. By dating him when you don't want to you are holding both of you back from being able to move onto better and more fulfilling relationships.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

UPDATE: I spoke to him about this in length and we’re gonna work it out between us. We care about each other & that’s what’s important when we boil it down we’re both happy to have more of an a-sexual relationship & he pointed out I shouldn’t be asking strangers on the internet for advice when they don’t know us, our situation or the ins and outs so thanks but we’re gonna work it out between us

Confused about my Ex need advice please

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