why do i hate myself so much?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 8 months ago
#1
So im a male, 19.

Ive been feeling low quite often for a couple of years now, i really hate my body and i dont like my personality.

People tell me things about myself that are positive but i can never take them in, i will always doubt myself in anyway imaginable.

I recently got a girlfriend who is amazing amd very supportive of me, and i truly do take in what she says to me but my brain just cant seem to not hate me.

I feel like im just a huge ******* to the people around me, i dont think im really a very nice person and stuff.

And now i just cant get my head around why my girlfriend actually likes me, i can only see myself as fat and ugly (personality and body)
I feel like im really pushing above my weight, shes really pretty and sweet but i just dont think i am anything like that. I definitely dont want to break up with her, i love her to peices and would glady die for her but i cant help but think she deserves way better than me.
I think im terrified by the thought of her leaving me.

Shes told me she likes me and stuff, am i just being stupid? I dont know.

I just dont know what to do with myself.

Sorry for the inconvenience, i think this is jjst a rant, i dont know.
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Blueowl2323
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#2
Report 8 months ago
#2
Hello, I struggle with hating myself as well. I hate myself and I often compare myself to other girls thinking about how they are so much prettier or more succesful then I am . People say and often tell me I am pretty, But I dought myself and hate everything about myself often wondering if I am even good enough for a guy. Keep this love, As it seems she loves you and appreciates you strongly by supporting you. Remember that she loves you and that you are special to her no matter what.
Last edited by Blueowl2323; 8 months ago
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 8 months ago
#3
(Original post by Blueowl2323)
Hello, I struggle with hating myself as well. I hate myself and I often compare myself to other girls thinking about how they are so much prettier or more succesful then I am . People say and often tell me I am pretty, But I dought myself and hate everything about myself often wondering if I am even good enough for a guy. Keep this love, As it seems she loves you and appreciates you strongly by supporting you. Remember that she loves you and that you are special to her no matter what.
Okay thanks, ill try and keep that thought in my mind
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Blueowl2323
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#4
Report 8 months ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay thanks, ill try and keep that thought in my mind
Your welcome!
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kissland
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#5
Report 8 months ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
So im a male, 19.

Ive been feeling low quite often for a couple of years now, i really hate my body and i dont like my personality.

People tell me things about myself that are positive but i can never take them in, i will always doubt myself in anyway imaginable.

I recently got a girlfriend who is amazing amd very supportive of me, and i truly do take in what she says to me but my brain just cant seem to not hate me.

I feel like im just a huge ******* to the people around me, i dont think im really a very nice person and stuff.

And now i just cant get my head around why my girlfriend actually likes me, i can only see myself as fat and ugly (personality and body)
I feel like im really pushing above my weight, shes really pretty and sweet but i just dont think i am anything like that. I definitely dont want to break up with her, i love her to peices and would glady die for her but i cant help but think she deserves way better than me.
I think im terrified by the thought of her leaving me.

Shes told me she likes me and stuff, am i just being stupid? I dont know.

I just dont know what to do with myself.

Sorry for the inconvenience, i think this is jjst a rant, i dont know.
hey, sounds like you struggle a lot with insecurities. Do you know why you feel so worried about how your body may look, or why certain things about your personality bother you? I.e. Maybe in the past people commented about those things, or rather you compare yourself to other people you see?

When you say your girlfriend says reassuring stuff to you but your brain can't seem to take it in, that part sounds like imposter syndrome. It will be hard from how you feel insecure to just stop feeling those things even when someone compliments you, due to how embedded those certain insecurities will be.
To combat that, you will have to try and reverse your insecurities yourself First of all, by trying to understand what exactly you are insecure about your body- why do you feel 'too pushing above your weight', what makes you worry about your personality?
Understanding will open up a path to try and figure out how you can change this, whether in a practical way or in a mental way.
Do you think exercising could help you feel better about your weight? If you think about your personality and what you do not like, could you think of ways to reroute that and change certain things through thinking before you do something you usually would?

Have you spoken to your girlfriend about how you feel? This will allow for her to help grow with you as she will understand if you are unable to take compliments, rather than her assuming she is lying, etc. Definitely let her know how you feel because otherwise, it could cause a misunderstanding on her part. And reflect on what you do not like and how you could try and change that yourself. The most important part is realising how you feel, which you have done and already is a big step towards changing. Hope this helps
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Anonymous #2
#6
Report 8 months ago
#6
Hey sorry to hear that, but seems like you are struggling with anxiety and body dysmorphia, see a doctor or even a counsellor, you would be surprised how many teens/ young adults or even people in general go through this

Also, as for doctor/counsellor as you over the age of 18 noone in your family has to know it can be completely confidential
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PilgrimOfTruth
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#7
Report 8 months ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
So im a male, 19.

Ive been feeling low quite often for a couple of years now, i really hate my body and i dont like my personality.
How you were when you were a baby is completely different to how you were at age 5

How you were when you were age 5 is completely different to how you were at age 10

How you were when you were age 10 is completely different to how you are now as a 19yr old teenager

How you will be in 5-10 yrs time will be completely different to how you are now

Life is a process of change. A process of refinement, ever expanding knowledge, intuition, experience, understanding.

Learn from where you came from and embrace change as it comes to you. Keep moving. A ship can only steer whilst it is moving.

We are the products of our childhood conditioning, our personal circumstances, our experience, our education and the things we subject our lives to (people, music, activities, food, drink, TV, films and so on).

Really I would not worry. You are still very much a child. Everyone is. All on the same journey. All learning.

You won't know really who and what you are until much later imo
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 8 months ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey sorry to hear that, but seems like you are struggling with anxiety and body dysmorphia, see a doctor or even a counsellor, you would be surprised how many teens/ young adults or even people in general go through this

Also, as for doctor/counsellor as you over the age of 18 noone in your family has to know it can be completely confidential
Ive actually been to the doctors twice and all they told me to do twice is meditation, drinking warm drinks, and have a warm bath. So i dont really know where to go from there
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Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 8 months ago
#9
(Original post by kissland)
hey, sounds like you struggle a lot with insecurities. Do you know why you feel so worried about how your body may look, or why certain things about your personality bother you? I.e. Maybe in the past people commented about those things, or rather you compare yourself to other people you see?

When you say your girlfriend says reassuring stuff to you but your brain can't seem to take it in, that part sounds like imposter syndrome. It will be hard from how you feel insecure to just stop feeling those things even when someone compliments you, due to how embedded those certain insecurities will be.
To combat that, you will have to try and reverse your insecurities yourself First of all, by trying to understand what exactly you are insecure about your body- why do you feel 'too pushing above your weight', what makes you worry about your personality?
Understanding will open up a path to try and figure out how you can change this, whether in a practical way or in a mental way.
Do you think exercising could help you feel better about your weight? If you think about your personality and what you do not like, could you think of ways to reroute that and change certain things through thinking before you do something you usually would?

Have you spoken to your girlfriend about how you feel? This will allow for her to help grow with you as she will understand if you are unable to take compliments, rather than her assuming she is lying, etc. Definitely let her know how you feel because otherwise, it could cause a misunderstanding on her part. And reflect on what you do not like and how you could try and change that yourself. The most important part is realising how you feel, which you have done and already is a big step towards changing. Hope this helps
Thanks for the reply, and yeah im trying to figure myself out more and more, ever since getting with her i would say i have improved a bit mentally because we are very open to each other about our problems and insecurities. Ill keep trying to look deeper into fixing myself, it might take a while but im hopeful.
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username4899406
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#10
Report 8 months ago
#10
Do more of what you enjoy, be it clubs , societies or just having a walk around
Maybe try some romantic activities with your gf as well
Definitely try to get out and about as much as you can, to make yourself comfortable and at ease a bit more
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kissland
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#11
Report 8 months ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for the reply, and yeah im trying to figure myself out more and more, ever since getting with her i would say i have improved a bit mentally because we are very open to each other about our problems and insecurities. Ill keep trying to look deeper into fixing myself, it might take a while but im hopeful.
sounds like you have a good plan in mind, and she seems really supportive, which is great.
Everything will work out, no matter how much time it takes. Sounds like you have a positive mindset, hope everything clears up eventually, you've got this
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