This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Friends at university of Leeds
- Cardiff, Edinburgh, Sheffield or Manchester for architecture 2025?
- Tenancy takeover university of Exeter
- Feelings for friend I’m living with next year
- new housemate disrupting existing dynamics and fear of him snitching
- How can I make friends when I go university?
- Advice on finding replacement tenant?
- Making Friends as a Postgraduate Student
- Living with housemates for the first time
- Garden Halls Tenancy Takeover
- Room available in Shared house in Jesmond, Newcastle
- Why do many students live disgustingly?
- Unsigning house with friends for a better house with strangers
- Confusing relationship with guy housemate
- Uni of Newcastle
- Looking for Housemates in Leeds
- Feel like a loser at home but am dreading going back to uni.
- University of Birmingham - general queries surrounding social life
- What should I do for 4th year housing
- Two Housemates Wanted Leamington Spa 2025/2026
Big Time Fancy My Housemate
Story:
Im at uni. Arranged to live with 5 other people after coming back from my year in industry. Only met 1 of the other people for the first time on the actual day of moving in - she's beautiful.
Get on brilliantly. She also hadn't met another of the lads living here when she moved in but I can tell a definate difference in how she acts around me and him. She smiles more around me, spends more time in my company and texts me often when she is at uni/not at home with me there.
I thought it was all going great guns until after 2 weeks of living here she had this guy come visit her. He stayed the weekend and then went back to wherever he came from. She said on numerous occasions that they aren't bf/gf, and I know for sure they had 'broken up' shortly before uni and the reason he was coming was for them to sort things out. After he left she maintained the no bf/gf thing. I don't know an awful lot more about their history.
I'm really really keen on her, I love her company, her looks, her wit, her body, the way she talks(!), the way she smiles at me. She's pretty awesome (
)
For these reasons I would really want to let her know about my feelings. But if I am reading her signs wrong and she isn't interested I could end up with egg on my face and with an uncomfortable atmosphere in the house for the next 9 months.
Im not after a quick fling with her. I am really interested in something more..
Can anybody offer me any advice?
Im at uni. Arranged to live with 5 other people after coming back from my year in industry. Only met 1 of the other people for the first time on the actual day of moving in - she's beautiful.
Get on brilliantly. She also hadn't met another of the lads living here when she moved in but I can tell a definate difference in how she acts around me and him. She smiles more around me, spends more time in my company and texts me often when she is at uni/not at home with me there.
I thought it was all going great guns until after 2 weeks of living here she had this guy come visit her. He stayed the weekend and then went back to wherever he came from. She said on numerous occasions that they aren't bf/gf, and I know for sure they had 'broken up' shortly before uni and the reason he was coming was for them to sort things out. After he left she maintained the no bf/gf thing. I don't know an awful lot more about their history.
I'm really really keen on her, I love her company, her looks, her wit, her body, the way she talks(!), the way she smiles at me. She's pretty awesome (
)For these reasons I would really want to let her know about my feelings. But if I am reading her signs wrong and she isn't interested I could end up with egg on my face and with an uncomfortable atmosphere in the house for the next 9 months.
Im not after a quick fling with her. I am really interested in something more..
Can anybody offer me any advice?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
13
These sort of things very rarely work out i'm afraid. Unless you are sure that she is the girl for you stay friends; if things don't work out it could get very awkward.
Reply 2
12
OK YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH THIS NOW
Atm you are in the fun place of limbo of best friend and new shag partner/boyfriend.
Now my friend it is clear from what you said she has been having a relesionship and it ended , she may be just getting over that , so dont run in there all guns blazing.
What I would advise to do , is go about it cooly , dont go LOLS I R RLY LIKE YOU AND UR REALLY AWSOME AND UR RLY PRETTYS this will do 1 of 2 things
1. she will be like ewwww i just like you as a friend
2. she will go oh my i did like him , but if hes gonna be all fuddy duddy over me so soon then im not interested.
what you need to do is casually go something like
blunt but subtle
" hey you know we spend so much time together ,do we have anything else? because I do like you like that"
But since you dont like the idea of REJECTION
or you could go for the hint style
When she goes fishing for it
" oh right well , i think you pretty " stuff like that
And remember
ACT COOL BUT BE YOURSELF
DONT SUCK UP TO HER CUZ YOU LIKE HER
BE NICE BUT NOT TOO NICE
if you follow this your chances will be greatly heighted , from you what u said shes a high quality catch these girls are ether hit or miss .
But its best if you let your feelings out , just dont make a dickk out of yourself doing it
Atm you are in the fun place of limbo of best friend and new shag partner/boyfriend.
Now my friend it is clear from what you said she has been having a relesionship and it ended , she may be just getting over that , so dont run in there all guns blazing.
What I would advise to do , is go about it cooly , dont go LOLS I R RLY LIKE YOU AND UR REALLY AWSOME AND UR RLY PRETTYS this will do 1 of 2 things
1. she will be like ewwww i just like you as a friend
2. she will go oh my i did like him , but if hes gonna be all fuddy duddy over me so soon then im not interested.
what you need to do is casually go something like
blunt but subtle
" hey you know we spend so much time together ,do we have anything else? because I do like you like that"
But since you dont like the idea of REJECTION
or you could go for the hint style
When she goes fishing for it
" oh right well , i think you pretty " stuff like that
And remember
ACT COOL BUT BE YOURSELF
DONT SUCK UP TO HER CUZ YOU LIKE HER
BE NICE BUT NOT TOO NICE
if you follow this your chances will be greatly heighted , from you what u said shes a high quality catch these girls are ether hit or miss .
But its best if you let your feelings out , just dont make a dickk out of yourself doing it
Reply 3
jogi
OP
Hahaha, reikazen, awesome post!
Reply 4
12
goodluck mate, Remember your in a disadvantaged postion, it will take more then usaual for her to trust you because your in such close quanters.
Its like if you like someone at work ,then its harder because there are conqeunces to your actions.
You need to think about it , how she is acting, if she is just looking for compliments from anyone or just you.
Are you treated diffrently to the other guys ? if so she probly likes you.Nothing can be sure, however keep us updated lol =P
Its like if you like someone at work ,then its harder because there are conqeunces to your actions.
You need to think about it , how she is acting, if she is just looking for compliments from anyone or just you.
Are you treated diffrently to the other guys ? if so she probly likes you.Nothing can be sure, however keep us updated lol =P
Reply 5
jogi
OP
reikazen
goodluck mate, Remember your in a disadvantaged postion, it will take more then usaual for her to trust you because your in such close quanters.
Its like if you like someone at work ,then its harder because there are conqeunces to your actions.
You need to think about it , how she is acting, if she is just looking for compliments from anyone or just you.
Are you treated diffrently to the other guys ? if so she probly likes you.Nothing can be sure, however keep us updated lol =P
Its like if you like someone at work ,then its harder because there are conqeunces to your actions.
You need to think about it , how she is acting, if she is just looking for compliments from anyone or just you.
Are you treated diffrently to the other guys ? if so she probly likes you.Nothing can be sure, however keep us updated lol =P
You are wise beyond your years, friend.
Like I said, she def acts differently to/around me than with the other guy living here! She's away this weekend now til Monday so no progress reports till then!
Reply 6
12
No mate , I study health and soical and Iwork in care.I am a fool in many other aspects of life
When you spend that amount of time around women you just learn to understand what women want in the start of a relesionship atleast.thats the easy bit.=)
Well then i would confess your feelings just remember what I said , if shes treating you diffrent . then your probly on her list lol
Just got to wait and see . problem with girls is that you just have to patient and bind your time for the right moment , but leave it too long and she will find someone else.
When you spend that amount of time around women you just learn to understand what women want in the start of a relesionship atleast.thats the easy bit.=)
Well then i would confess your feelings just remember what I said , if shes treating you diffrent . then your probly on her list lol
Just got to wait and see . problem with girls is that you just have to patient and bind your time for the right moment , but leave it too long and she will find someone else.
Reply 7
jogi
OP
Cheers for the help then buddy.
Would be interesting to hear what other people think I ought to do!
Would be interesting to hear what other people think I ought to do!
Reply 8
I don't think you should tell her how you feel. Instead, become fantastic friends and you never know, there is every chance something will come of it eventually when the time is right. But think about it, if you rush in now, she might not be ready and that will ruin any chance of a future relationship between you. Besides sharing a house and all that, her possible rejection would make things awkward for everyone.
I think if you're trying to keep cool, always difficult when it comes to love I know, but you should be sensible, you should never bring things to a head if there is a chance that you might not succeed. Most of the time we have more to lose by being hasty than if we'd waited!
I think for you two, there is this great chance to get to know each other really well, which can be the perfect foundation for a really good relationship, so just be patient, be nice and be yourself! Best of luck.
I think if you're trying to keep cool, always difficult when it comes to love I know, but you should be sensible, you should never bring things to a head if there is a chance that you might not succeed. Most of the time we have more to lose by being hasty than if we'd waited!
I think for you two, there is this great chance to get to know each other really well, which can be the perfect foundation for a really good relationship, so just be patient, be nice and be yourself! Best of luck.
Reply 9
take her up the aisle?
Reply 10
exchange rings?
Reply 11
Just let things happen naturally, don't push it. At the same time, don't avoid meeting other girls just because there's a chance you might get with her, as such a tactic could backfire very easily.
Oh, and don't take reikazen's advice, it would probably the best thing to do if you were both teenagers... but such tactics generally don't work for adult relationships. Instead, just be yourself, act warmly towards her, confide in her, always give her an ear when she wants one etc. and when the moment feels right, don't be afraid to make a move.
Oh, and don't take reikazen's advice, it would probably the best thing to do if you were both teenagers... but such tactics generally don't work for adult relationships. Instead, just be yourself, act warmly towards her, confide in her, always give her an ear when she wants one etc. and when the moment feels right, don't be afraid to make a move.
Reply 12
jogi
OP
Yeah very nice advice
I can't take my time too much, as we're both in our final year at uni and we live about 5 hours apart non-term time
I can't take my time too much, as we're both in our final year at uni and we live about 5 hours apart non-term time
Reply 13
jogi
Yeah very nice advice
I can't take my time too much, as we're both in our final year at uni and we live about 5 hours apart non-term time
I can't take my time too much, as we're both in our final year at uni and we live about 5 hours apart non-term time
Ah, I see. Well, she's probably aware of this as well... so you'd probably be able to get away with rushing things slightly...
Reply 14
I dont think you should tell her your feelings straight away because if she doesnt feel the same way your relationship as friends may suffer. Drop hints that you like her in a 'more serious than friends way'. Complement her and show that you care, that in aguy is attractive to girls. Then talk to her and see if she feels the same way.
Good luck!!
Good luck!!
Reply 15
Doink Responsibly Warning: It's normally better to not engage in relationships with flatmates. Your likely to alienate yourselves from your fellow flatmates (either accidentally or deliberately) because you'll become too wrapped up in each other -and your flatmates will slowly grow to hate you both, especially if your really clingy and lovey with each other when they're around. Plus, being in a relationship with someone who lives with you is very likely to distract you from your degree work because you can't just say "Don't come over today, I've got work to do".
Oh, and if you break up with her, you have to live with her for the rest of the year and that could be a living nightmare.
Oh, and if you break up with her, you have to live with her for the rest of the year and that could be a living nightmare.
Reply 16
Bang her, bang her, bang her (i mean "love" her)
Aside for the stupid comment above.
Ask her out on a date, its quite simple really.
"We spend a lot of time together, would you like to go on a date with me?"
"Her answer:
"Yes" - then you need to make a date plan, but well get onto that later.
"no" - then just say "i wanted to find out, rather than spend my time wondering".
Blunt, Simple and No "i really, really like you and your beautiful" crap - Cos that **** ruins friendships if its not successful
Aside for the stupid comment above.
Ask her out on a date, its quite simple really.
"We spend a lot of time together, would you like to go on a date with me?"
"Her answer:
"Yes" - then you need to make a date plan, but well get onto that later.
"no" - then just say "i wanted to find out, rather than spend my time wondering".
Blunt, Simple and No "i really, really like you and your beautiful" crap - Cos that **** ruins friendships if its not successful
Reply 17
Most of the advice given in this thread is really making things more complicated than they need to be.
ASK. HER.
ASK. HER.
Reply 18
Antonia87
Most of the advice given in this thread is really making things more complicated than they need to be.
ASK. HER.
ASK. HER.
exactly fooking hell its a simple question.
"wanna go on a Date?"
Problem solved.
Reply 19
I'm in a pretty similar situation, just try and be flirty, act like you wouldn't mind shagging her but there are other girls that you're interested in. Basically avoid the frigging friend zone.
Related discussions
- Friends at university of Leeds
- Cardiff, Edinburgh, Sheffield or Manchester for architecture 2025?
- Tenancy takeover university of Exeter
- Feelings for friend I’m living with next year
- new housemate disrupting existing dynamics and fear of him snitching
- How can I make friends when I go university?
- Advice on finding replacement tenant?
- Making Friends as a Postgraduate Student
- Living with housemates for the first time
- Garden Halls Tenancy Takeover
- Room available in Shared house in Jesmond, Newcastle
- Why do many students live disgustingly?
- Unsigning house with friends for a better house with strangers
- Confusing relationship with guy housemate
- Uni of Newcastle
- Looking for Housemates in Leeds
- Feel like a loser at home but am dreading going back to uni.
- University of Birmingham - general queries surrounding social life
- What should I do for 4th year housing
- Two Housemates Wanted Leamington Spa 2025/2026
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 weeks ago
What food item are you currently craving?Last reply 1 month ago
Domino's pizza personal size vs small sizeLast reply 2 months ago
Am I the only one who hates holidays especially the summer holidays?Last reply 4 months ago
Anyone else been out of work for 9 years in a row?Last reply 4 months ago
parents wont let me take the course i want to takeLast reply 4 months ago
How do I tell my instructor I don't want lessons with her anymore?Last reply 4 months ago
Where can I find good-quality alternatives to luxury fashion clothing?
How The Student Room is moderated
To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.
