Just idk man

A little context about me. Im a 20 year old guy, just turned 10 days ago and in my friendship groups, im seen as the friend who seemingly has it all together and is kinda like the "therapist". My friends come to me for advice all the time and i give great advice and im always helpful. People who know me all think im this good, wise person and look to me for advice regarding their problems or whatever. However, i just feel sad sometimes, i feel deflated and just depressed a lot. I feel like i don't have things together, i feel confused and when i look at my contacts in my phone and my immediate family, i can't explain things to them because it feels as if it would be too long to explain and i can't enunciate what im feeling or how im feeling, i just feel kinda alone sometimes if that makes sense. I have friends and family who love me but i just feel alone and i feel like a mess. In my experience, whenever i've opened up to people who have said that they "care about me" or that "i can talk to them about how im feeling" end up leaving/lying or having ulterior motives. Maybe im feeling like this because its late or whatever but yeah. Felt better typing this even though no one will probably see it lol.