higher english can someone mark my reflective essay and give feedback please

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SWEATY PALMS

Public speaking: An oral presentation that is performed between the speaker and the audience something that I had trouble with, although over the years I have had a few more experiences of it and I am still not overly comfortable I do feel the uneasiness but then who doesn’t? Politicians are to speak out to us, to the cabinet every day and they also feel the nervousness, lawyers too and activists, even in the education system both students and teachers feel anxious when talking Infront of the class so this is my experience of my first time of public speaking .

Sweaty palms, butterflies in the stomach, bile rising up my throat ready to stain my dignity and my uniform . The formidable fear chewing out the confidence that I thought that would stand stalwart by me today, tirelessly I look onto the cynical stage that is taunting me to give up the presentation, its vain stance gleamed with pride boasting off it’s smooth confident exterior to its spectators captivating their attention . Forcefully I snatch my eyes from the platform and anxiously observe the audiences each face searching for a glimpse of apathy hoping I could get through the speech without having attentive eyes and minds on me . I wipe my sweaty palms down my trousers then clasping them together stopping it from quaking fear, it felt as if I was facing something truly demonic, something that robs you from your courage and in this case it was public speaking . Claps erupt at the end of the group’s presentation that was soon followed by an energetic voice engrossing our attention again finally commanding my group to present, laboriously I walk up the steps . Surprised that each step was able to hold under the heavy pressure of weariness that clung onto me like stones adding the excess weight . As reaching the final step I took centre of the stage a tidal wave of nausea swept through, vigorously my throat hammered the bitter taste of consternation downwards warning it to not appear out for everyone to see .

The long black curtains draping over the windows refusing to let sunlight in thus capturing me into its cave, the solely source of light was illuminated from the few light bulbs that surrounded the stage creating a significant shield between me and the darkness of the predators . Their scrutinising gaze that is given off from every set of eyes in the illuminated cave was met with my terrified stance, it was as if I was a target that already has been decided to be the prey for a pack of starving lions who are ready to tear me to pieces, I wipe my sweaty palms down . Time stalled itself down, the light chatter and the staggering shuffling died down, the thick knitted blanket of silence was tugged on top of the onlookers as they waited expectedly, and with a deep breath I swallow down the uprising dread and wiped my sweaty palms down.

Like a robot I removed my trembling hands to my back and I spoke, the words flew harmoniously in tune out of my mouth soaring to the back of the hall . The black smoke of fear in the hall dissipated itself suddenly giving me the courage to spread my wings and swoop in and take command of the spotlight, pacing across the optimistic stage teaching me to look beyond the fear of public speaking and to not see it as an enemy . Stuttering for a second I refuse to back down into the hollowing pit of angst, my heart is held imprisoned by my ribcage who are refusing it to break out and and cry out in panic . Time slows down again, I stand on the ground planting the soles of my shoes against the trusty wooden planks and I look out, what I see is me, directly face to face with my fear, I start to swipe the fear out bit by bit until all that I can finally see the attentive eyes whispering encouraging rhymes for me to keep going . Resoundingly my voice echoes in the hall across every row, everyone and in realisation it feels that not only is my point getting across to prove something, but the aching pit of anxiety has left from my soul as my voice is now prepared and ready to be heard out loud proving to my heart and mind that to overcome my fear I have to sing out the alphabet and allow them to form into words .

Observingly I look across my judges and discover respect projecting out of their eyes, the glow of appreciation in me pushes out the excitement out behaving like a gleeful puppy that has been rewarded for their act of courage. As I grasp the optimum ending of my presentation the last few abundant seconds settled down allowing the division of the silence and the volume of my voice disintegrate, gradually row by row heels slam down against the resolute floorboard thud thud, every hand greeting its partner synchronising a tune with each other filling up the hall with sounds of music.

Looking back at that experience I can see now that how I have succeeded in the attempt to overcome public speaking although I haven’t completely overcome it, I can see that as each time I project my voice out letting myself to know that I can have the confidence it will go and it won’t be a cycle where fear grippes me until I speak on the stage. I understand that many people feel apprehensive when they speak out to the public but as you just start off, the tensity disappears and you fall into this rapid motion of speaking eloquently and fluently.

I'm sorry if it's full of mistakes but I joined in not so long ago last year and i had to write this up very quickly and ive been told i can use this essay for this year im doing english again
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