How to respond to a disloyal ex.

Me and my ex broke up a month ago after he was disloyal to me. I blocked him everywhere after a couple weeks he called me multiple times. He asked for forgiveness and not to be on bad terms. He says he misses me and I do too. But when he asked I said no. I feel myself having to hold back from expressing my true hurt and emotions.

Would I be dumb to tell him I miss him too ? I would never ever get back with him because I don’t take disloyalty lightly.

How do you even respond back to a disloyal ex. How do you even have a conversation with them? How are you suppose to be and act.

He also said to unblock him off everywhere but I said no but I’ll think about it

Reply 1

anosmianAcrimony

In your shoes, I don't think I would respond to him - I'd just keep him blocked. How did he even get in touch with you if you have him blocked?

Reply 2

username5319484

You don't have to respond

Reply 3

Crazy Jamie

Careers Forum Helper

At the moment this hurt is clearly still very raw for you, which is entirely understandable. Whilst he may well be genuinely remorseful and is therefore keen to apologise and move on, he does not appreciate that in many ways you're still proceedings this. My concern with telling him that you miss him is that it will encourage him to keep trying to contact you. What you need is time and space to process this, and in my view that is what you should stress to him. Tell him that you're going to keep him blocked and that you don't want to speak to him because you need time to move past this. Tell him that it may be that you can get back onto speaking terms in future, but if he wants that to happen he's going to need to give you the space you need to process everything. Hopefully that will give him the message that he needs to back away. In terms of how you then deal with him in future, it depends on how you feel. Even though he's hurt you there's no reason why in future you can't be friends again. If you miss him now there clearly is still some fondness there. For now though you just need to make sure you take the time to process and move past this emotionally, and he needs to understand that you need that too.

Reply 4

username5655466

I would ignore him and stay blocking him.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by anosmianAcrimony

In your shoes, I don't think I would respond to him - I'd just keep him blocked. How did he even get in touch with you if you have him blocked?

He calls me on NO CALLER ID. You can do that in settings.

I don’t even know why I pick up. A week after we broke up I didn’t pick up but now I pick up.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by hungrysalamander

You don't have to respond

I know right. I don’t know why I even pick up. Out of politeness? I don’t know honestly

Reply 7

mimi1908

Original post by Anonymous

In my opinion, I do not think it is a bad thing to respond with your true emotions, however it is so important that you do NOT let him think that you want him back. Make it clear how much he hurt you and how he made you feel, but make it clear that his actions have made you understand how you deserve and want to be treated (like a princess). It is not a bad thing to get out how you feel, keeping it bottled up will just make you feel worse, and can potentially turn your head in a direction of getting back with him after time. Keep him blocked if that makes you feel better, you will not be gaining anything from seeing what he is up to. You deserve so much better and I am very sorry that you have had to go through this.
If there's anything else I can help with let me know - you will get through this.
All the best,
Mimi <3

Reply 8

1582

Volunteer Team

When an ex tells you that they miss you, they're usually testing the waters to see if they can worm their way back into a relationship with you. Saying no was absolutely the right response.

I'd suggest you keep him blocked.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by 1582

Yeah 100%. I feel like him calling and telling me he’s sorry and stuff. Boosts my ego and confidence because him being disloyal completely destroyed it. Now I know he’s sorry it’s like I feel better about myself because he’s now regretting it ? If this makes sense

Reply 10

anosmianAcrimony

Original post by Anonymous

He calls me on NO CALLER ID. You can do that in settings.

I don’t even know why I pick up. A week after we broke up I didn’t pick up but now I pick up.

By doing that he is not respecting your wishes. You have made it clear that you don't want to hear from him by blocking him, and he is just disregarding that and contacting you anyway. Have you thought about changing your number and telling everyone but him?

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by anosmianAcrimony

I feel like him calling and telling me he’s sorry and stuff. Boosts my ego and confidence because him being disloyal completely destroyed it. Now I know he’s sorry it’s like I feel better about myself because he’s now regretting it ? If this makes sense

We’ve been through hard **** before and we’ve been through A lot together. I think that’s what makes me be slightly ok with him. But I absolutely hate him for what he’s done so.

No I won’t change my number. I did that with a toxic bf before but I said I won’t let someone disturb me that much.

Reply 12

1582

Volunteer Team

Original post by Anonymous

He is definitely regretting that he lost you over this. If he's begging for forgiveness then he is also feeling guilty and wants you to alleviate that guilt for him by forgiving him. It's his own fault, honestly, and you owe him nothing!

Reply 13

CaptainDuckie

Study Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

He calls me on NO CALLER ID. You can do that in settings.

I don’t even know why I pick up. A week after we broke up I didn’t pick up but now I pick up.

Yeah, you miss him... but I feel like this is where people make mistakes, isn’t it?

say if he did the same thing to you again, you will feel so crap and regretful... this is how things become toxic, imo.

he does the same thing to you again. you run back to him. he does it again. you run back to him. the cycle repeats and repeats