I have really bad OCD anxiety and I feel that it has ruined my life so many times.
I moved to Norwich last month and started a new job there moving into a flat with my boyfriend. We had an issue with fleas that his old housemate left us in an old house that followed us to the new place. It hasn’t even been a full month since we moved in. We had arguments in the past mostly again due to my anxiety acting up and me starting the argument (I get intrusive thoughts).
I sent him a horrible long text message yesterday, just with rage and anger about how much I don’t like that he doesn’t listen to me and I hate his friend that brought the fleas I don’t want his friend over etc
I ****ed it up so bad. He said he couldn’t deal with me anymore, my reactions were too much for him. He said he sees no future together with me, and says he’ll pay the rent alone and wants me to move.
We both cried. I am crying my eyes out, its all my fault.
I also have no supportive family, abusive parents. So my boyfriend was all I had, now I feel so alone. I don’t want to leave, I want to communicate and work things out but his mind is made up.
I can’t stop crying, going somewhere to move with strangers and going to a job all will remind me that I left home to be with him.
He made me so happy and I messed it up all because of my stupid anxiety. I wish we could things out. Life is not worth living without him. I can’t stop crying.