My boyfriend (24) broke up with me (24) cos he thinks we we have no future together

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sadpotato97
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I have really bad OCD anxiety and I feel that it has ruined my life so many times.

I moved to Norwich last month and started a new job there moving into a flat with my boyfriend. We had an issue with fleas that his old housemate left us in an old house that followed us to the new place. It hasn’t even been a full month since we moved in. We had arguments in the past mostly again due to my anxiety acting up and me starting the argument (I get intrusive thoughts).

I sent him a horrible long text message yesterday, just with rage and anger about how much I don’t like that he doesn’t listen to me and I hate his friend that brought the fleas I don’t want his friend over etc

I ****ed it up so bad. He said he couldn’t deal with me anymore, my reactions were too much for him. He said he sees no future together with me, and says he’ll pay the rent alone and wants me to move.

We both cried. I am crying my eyes out, its all my fault.

I also have no supportive family, abusive parents. So my boyfriend was all I had, now I feel so alone. I don’t want to leave, I want to communicate and work things out but his mind is made up.

I can’t stop crying, going somewhere to move with strangers and going to a job all will remind me that I left home to be with him.

He made me so happy and I messed it up all because of my stupid anxiety. I wish we could things out. Life is not worth living without him. I can’t stop crying.
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Briefprofile
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(Original post by sadpotato97)
I have really bad OCD anxiety and I feel that it has ruined my life so many times.

I moved to Norwich last month and started a new job there moving into a flat with my boyfriend. We had an issue with fleas that his old housemate left us in an old house that followed us to the new place. It hasn’t even been a full month since we moved in. We had arguments in the past mostly again due to my anxiety acting up and me starting the argument (I get intrusive thoughts).

I sent him a horrible long text message yesterday, just with rage and anger about how much I don’t like that he doesn’t listen to me and I hate his friend that brought the fleas I don’t want his friend over etc

I ****ed it up so bad. He said he couldn’t deal with me anymore, my reactions were too much for him. He said he sees no future together with me, and says he’ll pay the rent alone and wants me to move.

We both cried. I am crying my eyes out, its all my fault.

I also have no supportive family, abusive parents. So my boyfriend was all I had, now I feel so alone. I don’t want to leave, I want to communicate and work things out but his mind is made up.

I can’t stop crying, going somewhere to move with strangers and going to a job all will remind me that I left home to be with him.

He made me so happy and I messed it up all because of my stupid anxiety. I wish we could things out. Life is not worth living without him. I can’t stop crying.
I am sorry you are going through this. But in a way it's good it happened. Reason I say this is that it's unfair to your boyfriend to have to deal with these your issues.

You could have a talk and tell him to give you some time to work on yourself (It seems you know you are the problem). See a professional for your anxiety and other things. Like 6 months. Stay away from him and work on yourself. And once you begin to have a hold on yourself, re-assess the relationship and see if you want in again.

Or, take this as a lesson. Cut your losses and move on. Work on yourself and stop blaming the anxiety because it is not going to disappear but also, your boyfriend doesn't have to pay for it for the sake of his own metal health.

Hope that helps. Good luck.
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CovidMadeMeDoIt
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(Original post by sadpotato97)
I have really bad OCD anxiety and I feel that it has ruined my life so many times.

I moved to Norwich last month and started a new job there moving into a flat with my boyfriend. We had an issue with fleas that his old housemate left us in an old house that followed us to the new place. It hasn’t even been a full month since we moved in. We had arguments in the past mostly again due to my anxiety acting up and me starting the argument (I get intrusive thoughts).

I sent him a horrible long text message yesterday, just with rage and anger about how much I don’t like that he doesn’t listen to me and I hate his friend that brought the fleas I don’t want his friend over etc

I ****ed it up so bad. He said he couldn’t deal with me anymore, my reactions were too much for him. He said he sees no future together with me, and says he’ll pay the rent alone and wants me to move.

We both cried. I am crying my eyes out, its all my fault.

I also have no supportive family, abusive parents. So my boyfriend was all I had, now I feel so alone. I don’t want to leave, I want to communicate and work things out but his mind is made up.

I can’t stop crying, going somewhere to move with strangers and going to a job all will remind me that I left home to be with him.

He made me so happy and I messed it up all because of my stupid anxiety. I wish we could things out. Life is not worth living without him. I can’t stop crying.
First of all, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It really sounds like the OCD has a grasp on your life and is causing you anxiety.

I don’t know much about OCD, but I do sometimes go through high periods of stress and I have struggled with depression for many years. My advice would be to please for your own sake; talk to a professional. Perhaps your local IAPT service can give you some free counselling/CBT sessions. You can self refer, just type in your town followed by IAPT on Google, or make an appointment with your GP who can refer you. You can learn good coping mechanisms and reduce the amount of anxiety the OCD is causing.

Do you have any friends you can just off load onto in the meantime? If not, maybe you can find an online support group for OCD, I just think it’s important to have a support network and that can come in many forms.

Also how does the OCD affect you at work?
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sadpotato97
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(Original post by Briefprofile)
I am sorry you are going through this. But in a way it's good it happened. Reason I say this is that it's unfair to your boyfriend to have to deal with these your issues.

You could have a talk and tell him to give you some time to work on yourself (It seems you know you are the problem). See a professional for your anxiety and other things. Like 6 months. Stay away from him and work on yourself. And once you begin to have a hold on yourself, re-assess the relationship and see if you want in again.

Or, take this as a lesson. Cut your losses and move on. Work on yourself and stop blaming the anxiety because it is not going to disappear but also, your boyfriend doesn't have to pay for it for the sake of his own metal health.

Hope that helps. Good luck.
I told him I will go to therapy but he is adamant in his decision, my heart is shattering. I love him so much I can’t handle it, I would rather not be alive. I have never had happiness in my life and he gave me so much. I don’t want him to be a memory.
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sadpotato97
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(Original post by CovidMadeMeDoIt)
First of all, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It really sounds like the OCD has a grasp on your life and is causing you anxiety.

I don’t know much about OCD, but I do sometimes go through high periods of stress and I have struggled with depression for many years. My advice would be to please for your own sake; talk to a professional. Perhaps your local IAPT service can give you some free counselling/CBT sessions. You can self refer, just type in your town followed by IAPT on Google, or make an appointment with your GP who can refer you. You can learn good coping mechanisms and reduce the amount of anxiety the OCD is causing.

Do you have any friends you can just off load onto in the meantime? If not, maybe you can find an online support group for OCD, I just think it’s important to have a support network and that can come in many forms.

Also how does the OCD affect you at work?
I have no other friends. I am alone in Norwich, I feel afraid to move in with strangers away from my now ex boyfriend. I just wanted us to work it out but he said he can’t deal with it anymore.
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CovidMadeMeDoIt
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(Original post by sadpotato97)
I have no other friends. I am alone in Norwich, I feel afraid to move in with strangers away from my now ex boyfriend. I just wanted us to work it out but he said he can’t deal with it anymore.
It’s not ideal, but could you take separate rooms in the house for now so you don’t have to move out?

Can you text/call your friends jusr to vent and ask for some advice? If I were you I would try to join an online or face to face support group. Definitely try therapy, your bf is probably full of emotions right now and it’s hard to listen to people when we feel like that. Give him some space to calm down, let him know you will do therapy for yourself first and foremost, and for your relationship. Tell him you want to stay in a separate room in the Same house as you’re not in a position to move out, but will keep the respect with him. Maybe it will take a few weeks for everything to blow over and for you to get back together, but focus on your health first.
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sadpotato97
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(Original post by CovidMadeMeDoIt)
It’s not ideal, but could you take separate rooms in the house for now so you don’t have to move out?

Can you text/call your friends jusr to vent and ask for some advice? If I were you I would try to join an online or face to face support group. Definitely try therapy, your bf is probably full of emotions right now and it’s hard to listen to people when we feel like that. Give him some space to calm down, let him know you will do therapy for yourself first and foremost, and for your relationship. Tell him you want to stay in a separate room in the Same house as you’re not in a position to move out, but will keep the respect with him. Maybe it will take a few weeks for everything to blow over and for you to get back together, but focus on your health first.
We live in a one bed flat. We used to share a bed but he said he will get a mattress or sleep on the couch. I told him I will but he said he can’t wait until then he is adamant to get rid of me. I can’t stop crying. I proposed living as friends and he said he will give me two months (mostly to find a place) and he will see but he said no promises. But I think his friends will tell him to leave me. I feel so depressed. I just want to be with him.
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efficientonion
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I'd say right now you need to take responsibility of your own problems and not rely on your boyfriend to save you, it's clearly not sustainable. I know when things are hard it's easy to take it out on people we love. But it's not going to work long term. So keep your chin up and see this as an opportunity to help yourself get better. Moving to a new city with new people can be incredibly rejuvenating! You can do it!!
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sadpotato97
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I am so scared. I am going to ask him if we can work things out and if he can give me time to work on myself - so we can go on a break rather than a breakup. I’m so scared if he says no because my heart will shatter.
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gamzov2011
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(Original post by sadpotato97)
I have really bad OCD anxiety and I feel that it has ruined my life so many times.

I moved to Norwich last month and started a new job there moving into a flat with my boyfriend. We had an issue with fleas that his old housemate left us in an old house that followed us to the new place. It hasn’t even been a full month since we moved in. We had arguments in the past mostly again due to my anxiety acting up and me starting the argument (I get intrusive thoughts).

I sent him a horrible long text message yesterday, just with rage and anger about how much I don’t like that he doesn’t listen to me and I hate his friend that brought the fleas I don’t want his friend over etc

I ****ed it up so bad. He said he couldn’t deal with me anymore, my reactions were too much for him. He said he sees no future together with me, and says he’ll pay the rent alone and wants me to move.

We both cried. I am crying my eyes out, its all my fault.

I also have no supportive family, abusive parents. So my boyfriend was all I had, now I feel so alone. I don’t want to leave, I want to communicate and work things out but his mind is made up.

I can’t stop crying, going somewhere to move with strangers and going to a job all will remind me that I left home to be with him.

He made me so happy and I messed it up all because of my stupid anxiety. I wish we could things out. Life is not worth living without him. I can’t stop crying.
You will forget. Life will take care of making you forget those sad moments. Maybe you need to focus on your future first, before looking for a soul mate. 24 years is not old, you still have time to find the right one. First look after your economic independence. Repeate after me "first my economic independence".
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