My gay boyfriend told me he likes women but is still gay

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
This post is slightly tmi lol. Me and my boyfriend (gay couple) have been dating a while. He has always told me he is gay from the very beginning. However he recently told me that he likes women, a lot, and mainly watches women only porn, and hates it when men are involved in the scene if you get me.
I’m struggling how to process this sudden change in his sexuality.
I’ve been very supportive, I love him all the same, I encouraged him to speak freely. However, he still identifies as gay, despite mainly being attracted to women, and gets dismissive and anxious when I said would he prefer being known as bi of queer.

He said that since being with me he solely watches lesbian porn.

He’s very comfortable in identifying as male.

Is it wrong that this has made me uncomfortable? I feel as if I have been slightly deceived from the beginning of our relationship.

Any advice on how to deal with this delicate matter would be amazing. I really want to support him, but also my self if that makes sense. Thanks guys.
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
This post is slightly tmi lol. Me and my boyfriend (gay couple) have been dating a while. He has always told me he is gay from the very beginning. However he recently told me that he likes women, a lot, and mainly watches women only porn, and hates it when men are involved in the scene if you get me.
I’m struggling how to process this sudden change in his sexuality.
I’ve been very supportive, I love him all the same, I encouraged him to speak freely. However, he still identifies as gay, despite mainly being attracted to women, and gets dismissive and anxious when I said would he prefer being known as bi of queer.

He said that since being with me he solely watches lesbian porn.

He’s very comfortable in identifying as male.

Is it wrong that this has made me uncomfortable? I feel as if I have been slightly deceived from the beginning of our relationship.

Any advice on how to deal with this delicate matter would be amazing. I really want to support him, but also my self if that makes sense. Thanks guys.
I’d like to add he told me he was gay when we first met, to clarify! 🙂
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nathan1403
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#3
Report 4 weeks ago
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I don't think sexuality has to do with what type of porn you watch, maybe he's only romantically attracted to guys? Either way, it's not your place to tell someone what their sexuality is. If your bf wants to identify as gay, then let him, even if he does 'straight' things like watch lesbian porn. He probably didn't deliberately lie to you, I understand why you might be confused, but I don't see why this should change your relationship with him so maybe you just need a bit of time to process this new bit of information
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1582
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Sounds like he was comfortable in identifying as a gay man and this potential change in his preferences isn't something he has fully accepted about himself yet. He may still be unsure if this is just a porn/celebrity thing or if it also applies to women he could feasibly be with. The best thing you can do is to try to keep viewing him as a gay man, which he feels he is, until he explicitly says otherwise.
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