Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
I started at Plymouth University a week ago and I have made no friends and I’m incredibly lonely so far. I am living in private halls, and I am sharing a 9 person flat with 7 other guys and 1 girl. 5 of the guys are all mates who booked the flat together, 2 of the guys are nice, we have small talk but nothing else and the girl has not arrived yet.

I made friends with another flat who are all so nice but they are all medical students and they do welcome me in and invite me out, but there is always that little bit of I’m not a medical student and they have their own small lititoe friendships between each other that I am not apart of.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I’ve said in group chats of people want to meet and no one ever replies, I brought freshers tickets with the going assumption that I’d go with my flat but meeting them I know it is not going to happen.

I can’t move room as its fully booked. I know that my course has not started yet and neither has the societies but I feel like your flat is the first group of people you meet and that sets you up and sets the tone going forward and right now it’s just not it.
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LJ234
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Haven't been to uni myself yet but my sister is going into her third year- she didn't make friends with the first flatmates she had, she hasn't spoken to any of them since they moved out by second year, and in the house she moved into with 4 other girls only 1 girl was nice. She's moving into a flat with just that 1 nice girl this year and is so much more optimistic about it... my point is you probably won't make friends straight away; you might not even make many friends at all, but if you can make 1 or 2 close friends from your course or whatever then you should be fine (you might even meet other people through them). You've got a few years to find your place, join societies and things when you can to find people with similar interests to you, and it's probably easier said than done but try not to worry about making friends straight away. It'll all fall into place
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Jiiny
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Hey. Don’t worry, it’s only been a week it’s still very early days once your course starts, you’ll be able to make lots of friends with people on your course. In my case, I didn’t get on with my first year flatmates AT ALL. 2 of my flatmates were racist when drunk, one of them was nice but was always out and the other two were boyfriend/ girlfriend and so would always keep to themselves. It’s okay if you don’t become best friends with your flatmates, after all they are random people you got put with who you’re likely to have nothing in common with. For myself, I made majority of my friends through my course and then they would introduce me to their flatmates and other friends. I know just how lonely first year can be, hang in there. You’d actually be surprised with how often people don’t get along with/ like their first year flatmates, it happens a lot more then you’d think, so don’t stress about it.
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Anonymous #2
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Friends are criminally overrated. Boyfriends, girlfriends and nightclubs are the best : )
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Thisismyunitsr
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I started at Plymouth University a week ago and I have made no friends and I’m incredibly lonely so far. I am living in private halls, and I am sharing a 9 person flat with 7 other guys and 1 girl. 5 of the guys are all mates who booked the flat together, 2 of the guys are nice, we have small talk but nothing else and the girl has not arrived yet.

I made friends with another flat who are all so nice but they are all medical students and they do welcome me in and invite me out, but there is always that little bit of I’m not a medical student and they have their own small lititoe friendships between each other that I am not apart of.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I’ve said in group chats of people want to meet and no one ever replies, I brought freshers tickets with the going assumption that I’d go with my flat but meeting them I know it is not going to happen.

I can’t move room as its fully booked. I know that my course has not started yet and neither has the societies but I feel like your flat is the first group of people you meet and that sets you up and sets the tone going forward and right now it’s just not it.
I was at university for an entire year last year and I made no friends so you could have it a lot worse!
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Anonymous #3
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Friends don't matter if anything it's probably for the best because you can focus on your studies
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University of Portsmouth Student Rep
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I started at Plymouth University a week ago and I have made no friends and I’m incredibly lonely so far. I am living in private halls, and I am sharing a 9 person flat with 7 other guys and 1 girl. 5 of the guys are all mates who booked the flat together, 2 of the guys are nice, we have small talk but nothing else and the girl has not arrived yet.

I made friends with another flat who are all so nice but they are all medical students and they do welcome me in and invite me out, but there is always that little bit of I’m not a medical student and they have their own small lititoe friendships between each other that I am not apart of.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I’ve said in group chats of people want to meet and no one ever replies, I brought freshers tickets with the going assumption that I’d go with my flat but meeting them I know it is not going to happen.

I can’t move room as its fully booked. I know that my course has not started yet and neither has the societies but I feel like your flat is the first group of people you meet and that sets you up and sets the tone going forward and right now it’s just not it.
Hey there,

This is a tough situation to be in, but one that's not as uncommon as it might feel.

You're quite right about what you said at the end - your flatmates are your first group of people that you'll meet. Some people get along with their flatmates, some will just make small talk, and some people will barely see their flatmates at all.

Luckily, with university starting soon you'll be able to meet new people via your course as well as societies. Both of these are great ways to meet some like-minded people. At the end of the day, you'll have something in common with everyone you meet: you both are interested in the same course, or the same interest that the society is built around. That'll help break the ice, and I'm sure you'll have a group of people that you know and can hang out with soon!

I'd also keep an eye out for any social events that are running before term. Often, universities will run meet & greets, coffee chats and other fun activities so that you can get to know different people. Your halls of residence may also run events like these, and I'd definitely suggest that you go.

All in all, keep your head up. It's a bit cliché but at university there are always people in the same boat as you - you'll find your people and have a great time at university, no matter how rough it may feel right now.

Take care!
~ Mikael, UoP Student Rep
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JVM2020
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In 2nd year, I was getting more friends and beyond until I graduated

1st year was tough as my main housemate who went out would leave me on my own with some people he befriended so I was quite stuck for the time. I managed to overcome.
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